69ways Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Long story short: Together for 4,5 years and got engaged. 4 months before the break up. Was a LDR but planned to move there. A small fight led to a major break up. I did mistakes also but nothing that was not manageable. Tried everything to make up with her but was given all kinds of excuses for the break up. Mind you, in the beggining she told me it was her,she had depression and it runs in her family but later I was the one to blame. Her parents are angry with me for reasons I dont get. Now 6 months down the road and after i went into 40 days of NC she reached out when found out i was in her area to meet for a coffee. Unfortunately she flies abroad alone the day brfore so it was not possible to meet. She was crying over the call and saying she lost her self and she trying to find her old self and thats why she goes abroad alone. She admitted she did wrong not to ask me for my help but instead she left me and never thought we would break up because of this. I amstill the love of her life. She cried all the way during our talk..... Obviously she still cares for me and the break up occured because of wrong reasons. How do I deal with her and is there any dumper here that went through the same? Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenFool Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 69ways - wow your in a situation i would love to be in a few months down the line, my breakup was for the wrong reasons aswell i cant give a categoric 100% right answer because i dont know your ex only you do ie if she has looked around and realised she cant do better and thats why she is saying this or genuinely she suffers from depression and has realised how much she hurt you i would say be there for her as a human but dont get friendzoned let her do the running and show you what you mean to her Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted July 24, 2011 Author Share Posted July 24, 2011 (edited) She is suffering from that for sure: Its in her family. Character change two months before break up Cousin commited suicide, so its a family trend... Crying for no reason very often. Feeling very bad about herself and her line of work, I lost myself ...she admitted Trying to change her appearence., Got into abstract painting after brake up. Mood swings. Holidays on her own in two occassions. Doing things which are not her style I know what u mean regarding my situation, at least she realises that we were doing quite well with planning the wedding and all and at least she admitts its her issues that caused the break up. I am here for her as I told her but will not chase her, hope the holidays she is going on, which we where suppose to go together, will straighthen her out. She told me she has not dated anyone or been with anyone..... It looks like is sinking in that we are a good couple and we should be together so i hope she does reach out with the right words. Any other oipinions on this issue? Edited July 24, 2011 by 69ways Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 commom people, no advice on these depression issues? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 I have thought of all these actually well. I decided I want to give it a go because I see her like the woman of my life but how do you deal with a depressive ex that reaches out? She has not said I want you back but you get the picture from what i wrote in the start of the thread. Maintain NC? I dont know how to treat this as its quite complicated...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 69ways Posted July 25, 2011 Author Share Posted July 25, 2011 Thought of that but we leave in different countries...... Link to post Share on other sites
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