How much are people motivated by competition in relationships?

[BeyondtheClouds]

C’mon, tell the truth. Did you ever find yourself suddenly more interested in someone when you learned that he/she had other suitors? If so, how did you find out about it? What did you do differently compared to when you weren’t aware of their other options? Did you finally get into a long term relationship with that person? If not, what made you decide to move on?

 

Or, did you sense a stronger interest in you from someone after they learned that you were dating other people? If so, what differences did you experience?

 

Or, were you aware of friends or colleagues in similar situations? If so, what did you observe?

[samstar]

I was seeing this woman for 2 years and she broke of with me 4 months ago..she kept calling me now and again but I would alsways end up getting even more hurt and it almost seemed like she was doing this for enjoyment....I pleaded and tried to reason with her to work things out --it fell on deaf years---she used to end every phone call with " I want to date othe guys"--**** it was hell hearing those words.......

 

2 weeks ago I turned and said fine go ahead date other guys and I will also pursue the options I have...

 

Her attitude changed in minutes...this person who did not want me now said she needs a lot of time to think about us----i know she is buying time..

 

Next day she calls me for coffee and tells me how handsome I look...

 

There is a slight change in her attitude only because of me mentioning that I have options..

 

During my next conversatio I am going to tell her about the date I went on over the weekend ...I don't think I should tell her about the bj I got---

 

Even if I don't get back with her--i want her to know that is not the only women in this world

[Dorie]

I don't have a strong competitive nature. The idea of having to "beat out" another woman for a man's affections is distasteful to me. But then again, I've been described as a "mouse."

[BeyondtheClouds]

I don't have a strong competitive nature. The idea of having to "beat out" another woman for a man's affections is distasteful to me. But then again, I've been described as a "mouse."

 

 

So that nerdy guy in your stats class whom you dissed, even when a couple of (hot) women started swooning over him, you never wondered if perhaps you should at least take a second look?