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Bf's trip and lack of contact are starting to get to me


Eternal Sunshine

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torn_curtain

I'm glad ES is taking it OK, because reading that twist almost made me sick to my stomach. I thought he was shady but even this surprised me. I guess the lesson to be learned is to always listen to that gut feeling and not to give people extra chances if they've already proven untrustworthy.

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It turns out that 30 mins Skype request was to actually have the break up talk. When I said I was busy, he dropped this bombshell on me via text:

 

Dear ES, I know this is about to hurt you but I think it's better to be honest right now. I met an amazing girl at a club here last week*. She is a bit younger than me but it was "love at first sight". I never thought I would feel this way. We are so serious about each other that I am bringing her back to Australia. I am sorry to have to end things this way but you left me no other choice since you refused to Skype. Unfortunately you will have to wait for us at the airport to give me back my keys. Take care of yourself.

 

* this is around the time his contact dropped and he stopped saying I love you or miss you.

 

I responded: Thanks for letting me know. Good luck for your new relationship. See you at the airport!

 

 

Guys, I actually feel like 100lbs weight has been taken off my shoulders.

 

1. My assessment that he is untrustworthy was 100% confirmed. I will never think back on this and have any regrets

 

2. We have many mutual friends and I know many of them will see him now as the "bad guy" which means that now they won't abandon me

 

3. I won't have to break up with him nor fake interact with him for the next 2 weeks or so!

 

Finally, I can breathe!

 

I don't believe any of that. At all.

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I'm glad ES is taking it OK, because reading that twist almost made me sick to my stomach.

 

She's taking it OK in the sense that she already intended to break up with him and wasn't looking forward to put up a play over Skype, but like I said I wouldn't be surprised if she's still heartbroken over it and crying now.

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threebyfate
She's taking it OK in the sense that she already intended to break up with him and wasn't looking forward to put up a play over Skype, but like I said I wouldn't be surprised if she's still heartbroken over it and crying now.
Neither would I. No one wants negative affirmation like that about someone they cared about.

 

A total slimeball.

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nyc_guy2003
She's taking it awfully well, if true.

 

I'm pretty sure she'll be a crying clingy mess within a couple of hours. Case in point -- at one of my previous jobs, one of my friends kept saying he hoped he would get laid off so he would get severance and not have to work at a job he hated anymore. He said this every day for like 6 months. Finally one day the firm went through a round of layoffs and he was one of the ones who got cut. This should've been the happiest day of his life but of course all of his bravado turned out to be just an act, as he ended up throwing a huge tantrum and threatening the bosses for canning him, and he had to get escorted out of the building by security.

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Oh man, ES. That's horrible. What a ************!

 

I wouldn't even stay at his house. I would just leave and put the keys under a planter or welcome mat or something. And if he gets robbed, that's on him. *******. Wow! :sick:

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I don't believe any of that. At all.

 

I rarely agree with you, except for this. Not buying it. Makes me wonder what the hell is going on with you OP. I actually say that with concern.

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eerie_reverie

I was hoping you'd turn out to be crazy rather than getting hurt by this guy, but at least now you know your instincts are spot-on.

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torn_curtain

I almost hope it's not true because if a SO did that to me I would be Completely. Gutted. Even if I was doubting our relationship and thinking of ending things. :(

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I rarely agree with you, except for this. Not buying it. Makes me wonder what the hell is going on with you OP. I actually say that with concern.

 

I say it with concern as well.

 

After all she's said about this guy, I just don't believe he'd end it like this, with that message, telling her how awesome his new GF is and telling her that she's going to have to meet him and the new GF at the airport upon his return.

 

It goes too far beyond anything cognizable.

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threebyfate

People can be so brutal. Someone gets dumped hard and they're cheering or discrediting ES. Seriously disturbing how cruel people can be. :sick:

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I say it with concern as well.

 

After all she's said about this guy, I just don't believe he'd end it like this, with that message, telling her how awesome his new GF is and telling her that she's going to have to meet him and the new GF at the airport upon his return.

 

It goes too far beyond anything cognizable.

 

Seriously. This story just sounds silly. This guy, who if nothing else, has gone out of his way to avoid confrontation at all costs is now telling her to come to the airport when he gets back to meet his new girlfriend? That's not even remotely believable...

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torn_curtain
Seriously. This story just sounds silly. This guy, who if nothing else, has gone out of his way to avoid confrontation at all costs is now telling her to come to the airport when he gets back to meet his new girlfriend? That's not even remotely believable...

 

I don't know. It fits to me that he would dump her like this given his wimpy and deceitful behavior earlier in the relationship. There's nothing more indirect and cowardly than dumping someone in a short text message when you're halfway across the world. I'm not sure what to make of the thing about him asking her to bring the keys to the airport. Maybe at this point he just doesn't give a fck since he's already thrown away their relationship.

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This is one of the worst ways to getting dumped. His methods are not the best, it isn't they were dating for a few weeks. They were dating for a few months.

 

Anyway, ES good luck and I'm glad you took this in stride.

 

Also, why give him the keys? Why not just mail it to him? Or better yet, he can pick it up.

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People can be so brutal. Someone gets dumped hard and they're cheering or discrediting ES. Seriously disturbing how cruel people can be. :sick:

 

Who's cheering?? :confused::eek:

 

Just because I don't believe it, doesn't mean I don't feel very sorry for her. I do. I really do.

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Also, why give him the keys? Why not just mail it to him? Or better yet, he can pick it up.

 

Mailing the keys would be a solution. Just go to the post office and ask for the quickest way of transport of the envelope to his destination in Europe. I've had packages sent across the pond in 3 days, so it's definitely possible.

 

Another solution would be to hire a delivery guy and have him hand over the keys.

 

I think it would quite probably be painful for ES to go to the airport and meet him and his new girlfriend.

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Not defending ES with the following statement. Just something I want to put forth. Most people here talk about needing to be healthy to be in a relationship. It makes sense and I agree that the healthier you are, the healthier person you attract.

 

However: Most people are not terribly psychologically healthy and that doesn't prevent them from being in relationships. Some are good, some are not good.

 

Olive, healthy is a spectrum. I think you need to be healthier than ES has ever been since she's been on LS to attract a healthy relationship. That doesn't mean everyone doesn't have some baggage or hotbuttons, but there are varying degrees.

 

Awesome plot twist if anything else!

 

I say it with concern as well.

 

After all she's said about this guy, I just don't believe he'd end it like this, with that message, telling her how awesome his new GF is and telling her that she's going to have to meet him and the new GF at the airport upon his return.

 

It goes too far beyond anything cognizable.

 

You know, I don't believe it either. It seems too much like a narrative to me. I could believe him breaking up with her, but not the details. But I've been wrong before and will be again. And anyway, it's not my business. Good luck to her either way.

 

Mailing the keys would be a solution. Just go to the post office and ask for the quickest way of transport of the envelope to his destination in Europe. I've had packages sent across the pond in 3 days, so it's definitely possible.

 

Another solution would be to hire a delivery guy and have him hand over the keys.

 

I think it would quite probably be painful for ES to go to the airport and meet him and his new girlfriend.

 

If the whole story is true, I definitely recommend getting a mutual friend involved or mailing the keys, as someone else suggested.

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It turns out that 30 mins Skype request was to actually have the break up talk. When I said I was busy, he dropped this bombshell on me via text:

 

[I]Dear ES, I know this is about to hurt you but I think it's better to be honest right now. I met an amazing girl at a club here last week*. She is a bit younger than me but it was "love at first sight". I never thought I would feel this way. We are so serious about each other that I am bringing her back to Australia. I am sorry to have to end things this way but you left me no other choice since you refused to Skype.[/i] Unfortunately you will have to wait for us at the airport to give me back my keys. Take care of yourself.

 

Holy f****** sh** :sick: I almost teared up reading through this. The wording is almost too cruel to be true - demanding that you "wait for us" at the airport?! WTF!

 

Truly sorry babe... :(

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People can be so brutal. Someone gets dumped hard and they're cheering or discrediting ES. Seriously disturbing how cruel people can be. :sick:

 

Happened to find this in another thread that's popped up on Pg. 1 (Why your BF is awesome -- I went there to post why my BF is awesome; not to look up stuff from ES). It's from 11 days ago:

 

My BF does that exact same thing.

 

He also treats me as a truly equal partner. He involves me in every aspect of his life. We are a real team and so much stronger than each individual. He cares for me when I am sick, he tells me all the time how much I mean to him. He gives me foot rubs after a long day at work. He made me a copy of his apartment keys and told me that I can drop by at any time. When I told him about a girl I am jealous of on his volleyball team, he offered to kick her out of the team (I declined).

 

It's just everything. From practical things he does to me, to verbally telling me how much he loves me, to buying me small thoughtful gifts, to making sure I am never cold or uncomfortable, to looking and smiling at me from across the room even when he talks to others in a group setting. :love:

 

Whatever happened, we certainly cannot trust ES's instincts.

 

And something seems off about this story. We never get the whole story with her, as Mme. Chaucer says. I don't know if she is lying or what, but it doesn't all add up to anything that makes sense to me.

 

I sincerely hope ES will be okay, whatever is going on, but I think people are skeptical and confused with good reason, based on her posting history on this relationship.

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You know, I don't believe it either. It seems too much like a narrative to me. I could believe him breaking up with her, but not the details. But I've been wrong before and will be again. And anyway, it's not my business. Good luck to her either way.

 

 

I definitely see where you're coming from as that was my first (well, simultaneous to being horrified) reaction to reading the text BUT, it would be pretty twisted of ES to make up something like that...

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I definitely see where you're coming from as that was my first (well, simultaneous to being horrified) reaction to reading the text BUT, it would be pretty twisted of ES to make up something like that...

 

I don't really think she made it up perse (I think they probably broke up at least; I doubt the girl part); there usually seems to be some kind of truth in what ES says. I think she left out missing pieces maybe? But I don't really know. I just find it all very confusing. At any rate, I really do hope she's doing alright. None of this makes any sense. She's happy, she's sad, she's happy, she's sad. It's hard for me to logically follow.

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I definitely see where you're coming from as that was my first (well, simultaneous to being horrified) reaction to reading the text BUT, it would be pretty twisted of ES to make up something like that...

 

 

Well, it's also hard to believe that this guy just randomly started behaving like a comic book villain, and broke up with her in a way that would totally fit in with her insecurities.

 

Honestly, based on her earlier threads, what would have been ES's absolute worst case scenario for her boyfriend's Europe trip?

 

I'm pretty sure it would be that he meets a younger, prettier girl, cheats on ES, and dumps her.

 

It's amazing how that's exactly what happens, on the same day that she decides that she's going to break up with him.

 

Anyway, this is pointless speculation, as she's the only one who will ever know the truth.

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