Bf's trip and lack of contact are starting to get to me

[Star Gazer]

I don't really think she made it up perse (I think they probably broke up at least; I doubt the girl part); there usually seems to be some kind of truth in what ES says. I think she left out missing pieces maybe? But I don't really know. I just find it all very confusing. At any rate, I really do hope she's doing alright. None of this makes any sense. She's happy, she's sad, she's happy, she's sad. It's hard for me to logically follow.

 

I don't question they broke up, or even that if pressed whether he had met someone else, he answered in the affirmative.

 

What I question is whether he sent THAT text message, not only bragging about the new girl but expressing an expectation that she meet him and his new love at the airport. This is a guy who's bent over backwards to avoid hurting her feelings, even to the point of "lying by omission." That alleged text is totally inconsistent with allllllll of the threads and posts she's made about him.

 

That said, I do hope she can find inner peace and heal after this tumultuous dramafest.

[Nexus One]

The chorus and some of the other lyrics in this song, but not all, might be relevant in this case: http://bit.ly/pRZEda

 

That being said it does seem a bit weird that the guy has begged ES twice to take him back, only to leave her for another woman on his vacation and to take his new girlfriend to Australia after just ONE week. I mean that's a huge turn of events. Also, what girl is so impressionable to emigrate to the other side of the world after knowing a guy for just one week...after having met him in a club.

 

It's also possible that ES is speaking the truth, but that the guy is making this up. That is a possibility. Why he would do such a thing, I don't know. Perhaps he wanted to dump ES in the most painful way possible.

 

This is definitely confusing.

[torn_curtain]

Keep in mind people that this guy has proven himself to be very impulsive. Look at how fast he flipped from thinking of breaking things off with ES to bawling at her doorstep later that day. He even told her at one point that his personality is constant hot and cold. People like that are prone to random flights of fancy and BS like thinking they've fallen in love at first sight.

[OliveOyl]

I think if it's true (and I'm leaning toward thinking it's true, partly because I've seen some crazy 'truth is stranger than fiction' scenarios, as well as it fitting in perfectly with my "law of attraction" beliefs)... then her boyfriend is extremely passive-aggressive and has been harboring considerable resentment that finally all came spilling out in that final denouement.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Wow ES...I know I don't reply to your threads much because I find them a little overwhelming to be honest (not necessarily on your part - but more because of the polarized and hot-headed responses). But that doesn't mean I don't follow them. What you described in your last post is truly awful. I know you were planning on breaking up with him anyways, but there's no way that can't still hurt like hell.

 

I'm really, really sorry things ended like that. He's a major twat, and all the better to find out sooner rather than later. Gross.

 

I agree with the other posters - give his keys to a friend, mail them to him, leave them under a doormat...who cares. He and his "girlfriend" can take a f**king cab. Not your problem anymore.

[Star Gazer]

Keep in mind people that this guy has proven himself to be very impulsive. Look at how fast he flipped from thinking of breaking things off with ES to bawling at her doorstep later that day. He even told her at one point that his personality is constant hot and cold. People like that are prone to random flights of fancy and BS like thinking they've fallen in love at first sight.

 

Mr. Curtain, you've been here like 8 days. You have no clue who the erratic, script-flipper is in this relationship. Here's a hint: it's ES.

[Star Gazer]

Well, it's also hard to believe that this guy just randomly started behaving like a comic book villain, and broke up with her in a way that would totally fit in with her insecurities.

 

Honestly, based on her earlier threads, what would have been ES's absolute worst case scenario for her boyfriend's Europe trip?

 

I'm pretty sure it would be that he meets a younger, prettier girl, cheats on ES, and dumps her.

 

It's amazing how that's exactly what happens, on the same day that she decides that she's going to break up with him.

 

Anyway, this is pointless speculation, as she's the only one who will ever know the truth.

 

The chorus and some of the other lyrics in this song, but not all, might be relevant in this case: http://bit.ly/pRZEda

 

That being said it does seem a bit weird that the guy has begged ES twice to take him back, only to leave her for another woman on his vacation and to take his new girlfriend to Australia after just ONE week. I mean that's a huge turn of events. Also, what girl is so impressionable to emigrate to the other side of the world after knowing a guy for just one week...after having met him in a club.

 

It's also possible that ES is speaking the truth, but that the guy is making this up. That is a possibility. Why he would do such a thing, I don't know. Perhaps he wanted to dump ES in the most painful way possible.

 

This is definitely confusing.

 

Yup.........

[threebyfate]

More discrediting. Disappointing but not surprising. People would rather be right than show compassion for ES. Unbelievable.

[chuckles11]

Keep in mind people that this guy has proven himself to be very impulsive. Look at how fast he flipped from thinking of breaking things off with ES to bawling at her doorstep later that day. He even told her at one point that his personality is constant hot and cold. People like that are prone to random flights of fancy and BS like thinking they've fallen in love at first sight.

 

Well. She's also written that this guy has always been extremely picky about who he dates and has only had a couple of girlfriends. He also clearly had reservations about ES when they first started dating. Thirdly, he avoids conflict at all cost and about a week ago requested that they Skype twice a day because he was worried that she might cheat on him when she asked him if she could go to lunch with the OKC guy.

 

Now he's done a complete 180 and is flying a complete stranger back to Australia, who he wants ES to meet? Really?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Mr. Curtain, you've been here like 8 days. You have no clue who the erratic, script-flipper is in this relationship. Here's a hint: it's ES.

 

I'm pretty sure that Ms. Curtain has been here for much, much longer than 8 days, and that she is intimately aware of who ES is.

[Ms. Joolie]

Oh my good lawd... Incredible! Unbelievable!!

 

Given the ups and downs and the hots and coldness.... the latest update is just as blasting, just as dizzying. It could be true, it could be false, it could be partially of both.

 

lol. It's past my bedtime, and I couldn't come to my own conclusion.

 

Something is just going on though! hah. I don't mean to make light of her relationship troubles, but it's also painful to be on the other end - trying to follow like a little LS puppy.

[Mme. Chaucer]

More discrediting. Disappointing but not surprising. People would rather be right than show compassion for ES. Unbelievable.

 

No. People would rather be honest than pretend they believe a story that they don't believe.

[Stupid Girl]

These replies are unbelievable, what is wrong with you people??? A person is posting here asking for help and advice after having suffered a traumatic situation (no matter HOW it happened, a serious relationship endig is traumatic), and instead you dissect every word she's ever said and accuse her of making the story up? So then if the story is made up, there's nothing you can offer in terms of advice, so why are you wasting time replying?

 

Really! Is this a relationship advice forum, or a discrediting poster forum?

[Nexus One]

More discrediting. Disappointing but not surprising. People would rather be right than show compassion for ES. Unbelievable.

 

Wow there, hold your horses. Just because some people are pointing out some peculiarities, doesn't mean they're trying to discredit her. I'm more than willing to be compassionate with ES and I'm the first one to admit I'm wrong when I truly am wrong, but that doesn't mean that some things do seem to look weird. And pointing that out doesn't mean I have the motive to discredit her.

 

While I have to give you props for going against the grain and probably having been right regarding the guy, you do seem to be awfully sure of it all, almost unwavering. While most people here are doubting and not sure, you can't hold that against people, because from afar we cannot possibly know what's really going on. We can only go by what ES is posting and while I'm very much willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, that doesn't mean I can't have any doubts or find some things peculiar.

 

I mean let's be honest here TBF, the way things have unfolded is fairly mind blowing if not confusing at the very least.

Edited July 27, 2011 by Nexus One

[threebyfate]

Nexus, I don't need props. ES needs compassion.

[Nexus One]

Nexus, I don't need props. ES needs compassion.

 

Mind telling me why you are so sure of this entire thing while most people here at least doubting a little bit? I mean I couldn't in good conscience claim that "it's like this and not like any other way", because I can't possibly know things for sure from where I am. So I'm curious why you seem to be so sure that you are correct.

 

If you think I have the motive to discredit ES, you have it completely wrong. I sincerely hope the best for her.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am in shock and have been crying for the last couple of hours. How am I ever going to trust a man again? I just don't see it happening. I feel like doing something life changing like packing up my passport and getting on the first plane to anywhere, just as long as it's out of my current city and also quitting my current job in the process.

 

As for how bizzare his story is - ex is in a certain country in Eastern Europe where people are desperate to get out of there. The girls would do anything for a shot at Australian citizenship so it's not surprising this girl is willing to move so quickly. He is most likely being played but he soooooo deserves it.

 

As for proving anyone right - honestly when I get those hunches and suspicions - the LAST thing I want is for them to be true. I would actually prefer to be paranoid and crazy.

 

It's funny, the last time we Skyped - which is merely 5-6 days ago - he was asking me if I want to go to Greek islands with him next year and he was going to book tickets for us to to Thailand later in the year. He was also asking me what weekends in September were good for me to go inter-state and spend with him and his parents. So very much planning the future.... And then it all crashed in a few days of meeting some club slu%???? I hope he gets AIDS.

 

My mum has suggested changing locks on his apartment and then pretending that I know nothing about it. I don't think I could even do that

[Eternal Sunshine]

I can also see why people would question the story.

 

I keep re-reading his text and it still doesn't seem real to me. It feels like I am about to wake up from a nightmare :sick:

 

I know him the best and does it seem plausible that he would something like this? I would have to go with yes. The day after he asked me to go on a break and I attempted to break up - he was begging and crying on my doorstep and he asked me to go to Europe with him (this trip). He was making a major commitment like that to someone he wanted to break up with like 12 hours ago. He is majorly unstable. I know you will all say that so am I etc etc but in all honesty, I would NEVER be capable of doing something like this to - anyone

[Hot Chick]

So why didn't you go over and meet him for this trip? I never understood that....doesn't make sense, it sounds like you are ready and financially able to travel, why didn't you book a ticket and fly over there when you were with your boyfriend and he was going on the trip? You knew about this trip several months ago.

[Nexus One]

I am in shock and have been crying for the last couple of hours.

 

I thought that might have been the case. I feel sorry for you ES.

 

As for how bizzare his story is - ex is in a certain country in Eastern Europe where people are desperate to get out of there. The girls would do anything for a shot at Australian citizenship so it's not surprising this girl is willing to move so quickly. He is most likely being played but he soooooo deserves it.

 

That does explain a lot.

 

How am I ever going to trust a man again? I just don't see it happening. I feel like doing something life changing like packing up my passport and getting on the first plane to anywhere, just as long as it's out of my current city and also quitting my current job in the process.

 

Perhaps some away time to clear your head would do you good. I'm not so sure about the quitting your job thing. If I remember correctly you once mentioned you have a well paying job. The job market around the world isn't that great at the moment.

 

My mum has suggested changing locks on his apartment and then pretending that I know nothing about it. I don't think I could even do that

 

I suggest you keep your pride. Let him sink in his sh*t.

[threebyfate]

Mind telling me why you are so sure of this entire thing while most people here at least doubting a little bit? I mean I couldn't in good conscience claim that "it's like this and not like any other way", because I can't possibly know things for sure from where I am. So I'm curious why you seem to be so sure that you are correct.

 

If you think I have the motive to discredit ES, you have it completely wrong. I sincerely hope the best for her.

Why don't you question other member on their threads? Why is ES beat up so badly on LS? You all better look to your own reasons why you've chosen to crap all over her, even now that she's been hurt bad.

 

I don't care if I look stupid by being wrong. It's not a matter of being right or wrong on this issue. It's about human compassion which some of you desperately need to learn about by getting over yourselves.

[Nexus One]

Why don't you question other member on their threads? Why is ES beat up so badly on LS? You all better look to your own reasons why you've chosen to crap all over her, even now that she's been hurt bad.

 

I question other members/posts often enough.

 

I don't care if I look stupid by being wrong. It's not a matter of being right or wrong on this issue. It's about human compassion which some of you desperately need to learn about by getting over yourselves.

 

For someone talking so highly about compassion you sure seem more than willing to accuse people of having malicious intent. I guess that doesn't equal crapping over someone right?

Edited July 27, 2011 by Nexus One

[threebyfate]

I question other members/posts often enough.

Look, I don't follow your posts and within this thread, you're one of the members who's been more reasonable.

For someone talking so highly about compassion you sure seem more than willing to accuse people of having malicious intent. I guess that doesn't equal crapping over someone right?

Yup, all the caring individuals who rush to crap all over her whenever possible, besides attempting to discredit her, etc, where are they now since they "care" so much about her?

 

Anyways, I'm not going to bicker with you anymore. You're welcome to have the last word.

 

Just sick to death of the lack of compassion on LS.

[D-Lish]

 

I do agree with you that I need professional help. Howewer, what you fail to realize is that it's only about 50% of the battle (if that). The rest is finding the right guy. Even if I were emotionally healthy, my current bf is not right for me. Nor were any of the men that I met in the last 2 years (prior to that I haven't dated in about 3 years because I was in love with someone I couldn't have).

 

 

The bolded part is what stands out to me. I truly believe that if you found your way to emotional happiness, You wouldn't have chosen this guy to date in the first place!

 

I know so much has gone on since you posted this, and I'm still reading my way through the thread.

 

When you feel good about yourself, you'll trust yourself- and you'll choose men to date that reflect how you feel about yourself.

 

When I go back and think about some of the guys I've dated- the ones that messed me over were guys I chose to date when I didn't feel good about myself- so my decision making process was off, and my people picker was off... You'll also attract a certain "type" of person when you're not at your best.

 

I'm going to go back a few pages and see what actually happened- I haven't got there yet- only know things have unravelled in a bad way. I'll keep reading.

[Nexus One]

Just sick to death of the lack of compassion on LS.

 

Fair enough.