cerridwen Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I do feel up to it, but I just find it hard to change. Change has always been a bit hard for me... I will go out some time in the week and get a haircut and new clothes, that can be my first step Nice! Make this your first mini-goal. Looking forward to the photos with your new hair and clothes . Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 What about personality? Are you caring, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, a good listener? Anything like this? Try to think of positive things rather than negatives. You look cute in your pic, cute is good in my book Nope... honestly, I don't hace anything... You could probably list 100 things and I won't be them or be good at them, did that make sense? :s Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Nice! Make this your first mini-goal. Looking forward to the photos with your new hair and clothes . Me too! Appearance really does matter but only in terms of feeling good in your own skin. Hope you find some bargains. Theres nothing like finding a good bargain to colour the world anew... Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Author duhduhduhdan Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 What about personality? Are you caring, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, a good listener? Anything like this? Try to think of positive things rather than negatives. You look cute in your pic, cute is good in my book I guess I do try to be those things... But no one ever really listens to me... No one has ever told me like "You're such a nice guy Dan" or "You're such a good listener" or whatever, so honestly I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 (edited) Hey Dan, I'm only 25. Read that first sentence again: it's me saying I'm 'only' 25. You're 16 so you have the wonderful gift of increased youth, and I know I'm still young! Anyway, when I was your age, my 'problem' was that I was really skinny, underweight even. My best mate had an amazing metabolism and looked like an athlete no matter how little exercise he did and what he ate. I had very little self confidence and I was jealous that he had this physical...gift. Now I'm 25 and in that time have gone from underweight, to 'just right' to very physically fit, to normal, to overweight (yup) and now I'm fitter than I've ever been again. Fact is, your body changes a lot depending on the stage of life you're in and what you do to it. As a teenager, I was simply very young - my body couldn't put on muscle for some reason before I hit 21. As a young adult, I've now found that I have to eat right or it shows and I need to go to the gym - I put on weight very quickly now if I'm not careful. My message? In terms of physical weight and appearance, part of it is out of your control, but be pleased with what you have: you're a decent looking guy, honestly. And part of it is what you do to yourself, so if you don't eat as healthily as you could, try to (I know what it's like when the folks are in control of the shopping list though >.>), and make sure to get regular exercise. But don't over do it. And don't panic. Remember: you're young. When I was overweight, it was because I was just starting in my profession and I was totally absorbed by the job. I neglected exercise and I took too much comfort in...comfort eating. Back to the friend I mentioned, the guy who looked like an athlete? It sounds crazy, but as much as I was jealous of him, I found out years later that he was incredibly insecure and genuinely believed himself to be ugly. It's interesting to note that he got a girlfriend after me too... I was so concerned with what others thought about me, and that I fell short in terms of 'how good I was', that I totally didn't realise that other people had their issues too. Everyone does and the fact you're brave enough to come to a public forum and seek help? That's great! You're showing you're a guy who wants to get things done! So it's not just looks - it's how you feel inside. I still struggle with this and so do most people. Living in today's world is hard and it seems that the media does its best to chip away at our self esteem by projecting the 'ideal' image of what we 'should' look like...but it's all nonsense. Look around in the street and you'll find supposedly physically 'beautiful' people with partners who look totally mismatched - that's not a criticism: it's a great thing. It shows that looks aren't everything and the cliche is true: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Work on making yourself feel good. Be the best 'you', you can be and it'll pay off, trust me. This is the mantra I live by and I have faith that it'll work. You'll certainly be very attractive if you have that outlook and practice it. In three short statements: aim to be healthy, be you and enjoy yourself. You'll be fine mate. Edited July 31, 2011 by antinko Link to post Share on other sites
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