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Not-so-cute guy at work, but very sweet.. Is it fair to him if I don't find him cute?

temporaryvisa

By temporaryvisa
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temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

Posted
Posted

Hmm.

 

At work, there's this really sweet guy. He is smart, funny, so sweet and seems so genuine.

 

He is a little chubby, not that cute or anything, wears nerdy glasses, kinda short... Etc.

 

He is also 26 years old.

I am 19.

 

One day we went for drinks after work, and he was a perfect gentleman- paid for all the girls drinks and was so sweet and funny, so not like otherguys I chill with. I got quite drunk and was pretty obnoxious but he still liked me and was so sweet. After, when everyone left, he walked me to the train and... Well one thing lead to another and we kissed!

Omg it was so nice. He is a good kisser, so sweet and he felt so guiltythat he was kissing a 19 year old- honestly, to me it's no big deal. I guess to him it is, but I think he likes me enough to get over it... It seems.

 

But now when I see him at work I really don't think he is that cute. I mean I can get over it, but is this fair to him. If anything progressed I wouldn't like him for how he looks, and is that fair? Does he deserve to have someone like him for how he looks AND his personality?

 

I'm used to dating very hot guys. Just today when I was in line with the uy from work, at starbucks, a guy bought me my drink and asked for my number. He was gorgeous- I gave him the wrong number but I still appreciated it. Guy from work was sad so I gave him a bit more attention and a little hug...

 

I'm ready to try something new... Dating from the heart.. But I like sexy men.. Shouldn't the uy from work want to be liked for his looks too?

 

Btw yes I posted this in dating but the title was misleading. I also felt it belonged here more.

Challenger Member

Challenger

Posted
Posted

As I read this I can't help but laugh...Not at you but at the whole situation.

The reason why you kissed him was because you thought he deserved it. He paid for your drinks, he still liked you after you got drunk, and he walked you to your train. That was a reward for being such a nice guy.....but at the end of the day there is still no attraction...no challenge!

 

Women view the male ego as so fragile, they don't want to hurt it so instead of telling them up front that there is no chance they instead string him along. Do this guy a favor and tell him there is no chance.

 

It sounds to me that you also like your ego stroked a bit. I mean a hot guy that you were into asked for your number and you gave him a fake one??lol. Careful though because someday a guy like me is gonna come along and flip your world upside down LOL.

 

-Challenger

  • Author
temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Hahaha and what would a guy like you be ?

Challenger Member

Challenger

Posted
Posted
yur not top stud. im top stud

 

 

OK then....Your top stud congrats bro! I'm sure your a lady killer!

 

I'm the guy that takes "top stud's" girl when he's not looking;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

-Challenger

Challenger Member

Challenger

Posted
Posted

This is my first day here and I can already see that there is good admin. here.... Thank you! Now back on topic.

quankanne Established Member

quankanne

Posted
Posted

Shouldn't the guy from work want to be liked for his looks too? only if he's more than a little bit shallow.

 

take it from an old fart: Men clean up nicely when they good reason to. Meaning, you think he looks nerdy and is chubby, but those things can be rectified. So don't be so focused on what he looks like, but by the caliber person he is. If he treats you like a lady, he's a keeper. Or at least someone worth giving a second glance.

Shaun-Dro Established Member

Shaun-Dro

Posted
Posted
Hmm.

 

At work, there's this really sweet guy. He is smart, funny, so sweet and seems so genuine.

 

He is a little chubby, not that cute or anything, wears nerdy glasses, kinda short... Etc.

 

He is also 26 years old.

I am 19.

 

One day we went for drinks after work, and he was a perfect gentleman- paid for all the girls drinks and was so sweet and funny, so not like otherguys I chill with. I got quite drunk and was pretty obnoxious but he still liked me and was so sweet. After, when everyone left, he walked me to the train and... Well one thing lead to another and we kissed!

Omg it was so nice. He is a good kisser, so sweet and he felt so guiltythat he was kissing a 19 year old- honestly, to me it's no big deal. I guess to him it is, but I think he likes me enough to get over it... It seems.

 

But now when I see him at work I really don't think he is that cute. I mean I can get over it, but is this fair to him. If anything progressed I wouldn't like him for how he looks, and is that fair? Does he deserve to have someone like him for how he looks AND his personality?

 

I'm used to dating very hot guys. Just today when I was in line with the uy from work, at starbucks, a guy bought me my drink and asked for my number. He was gorgeous- I gave him the wrong number but I still appreciated it. Guy from work was sad so I gave him a bit more attention and a little hug...

 

I'm ready to try something new... Dating from the heart.. But I like sexy men.. Shouldn't the uy from work want to be liked for his looks too?

 

Btw yes I posted this in dating but the title was misleading. I also felt it belonged here more.

 

You're going to remain single for the rest of your life because you're full of games and silliness. Either grow up and be serious or hang it up now. I'm really surprised at this abhorrent behavior coming from a Canadian girl. :mad:

Challenger Member

Challenger

Posted
Posted

Wow! There are some angry people on here huh?

  • Author
temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Wait! What did I do?

thehead Established Member

thehead

Posted
Posted
Wait! What did I do?

 

Temporary you seem a little spastic. Not just in your posts and not just in your actions toward others, but just toward life in general. Sure that's a bold statement coming from a stranger, but over the last 24 hours you've posted a lot and I've read enough to get an impression.

 

Part of it is you're a young girl figuring things out. That's fine! You're also energetic. Fine as well. But it might help to take some deep breaths and figure out first what's happening inside you.

You've talked about your low self esteem. You mentioned poor self image. You seem really uncomfortable in your own skin and this can translate into rash decisions that may lead to accidentally hurting people.

 

I'm not trying to be harsh. I'm just trying to give you an outsider's view and some advice about calming yourself enough to make some personal gains. Have you sat down and talked with someone about what's bothering you inside?

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

I have to agree. I think you should not get involved with this guy and concentrate on doing a good job and getting your education. Maybe you should put the 'brakes on' regarding men for a while.

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

Posted
Posted

She still needs to have fun.

  • Author
temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

Posted
  • Author
Posted

What you are saying makes sense.

 

I have talked to a counsellor regarding my poor self esteem, and she has helped- a LOT.

 

I still have a long way to go... I know.

 

Thanks

Disillusioned Established Member

Disillusioned

Posted
Posted

If the guy's really sweet but not so good-looking, why not ask him to wear a ski mask over his head?

  • Author
temporaryvisa Established Member

temporaryvisa

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Omg! I just found out he is a virgin :/

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
Posted
Omg! I just found out he is a virgin :/

 

 

OMG! A virgin. Maybe you should like totally string him along for a while longer. I mean like for sure a barbie doll is fun to play with and stuff,

, but this not so cute dude might be even funner, like totally. OMG!

I mean like you are totally only 19 and he is like 26 or something. OMG! How fun! I mean like,you know, like he is suuupper sweet and kisses good and all that but he is sooo not cute. These like totally hot guys are always hitting you up yo! So I sooo totally don't know what to tell you, OMG

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

Posted
Posted
Omg! I just found out he is a virgin :/

 

Some guys find it difficult to get a woman. Don't hold it against him.

Disillusioned Established Member

Disillusioned

Posted
Posted
Omg! I just found out he is a virgin :/

 

Uh-oh. Taboo. Avoid him at all costs. Virgins carry leprosy.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
She still needs to have fun.

 

She can still have fun without worrying about guys all the time. TemporaryVisa is a beautiful girl and will not go long without male attention. She deserves the right kind of male attention. When pretty women concentrate more on achieving goals and education the right guy seems to drop out of the sky when you least expect it.

Afishwithabike Established Member

Afishwithabike

Posted
Posted
Omg! I just found out he is a virgin :/

 

So?

 

I sure hope you don't make this guy feel bad about it because he has no reason to feel bad about being a virgin.

Crabbies Established Member

Crabbies

Posted
Posted

You know you're as cute as a button, date who you want, just be nice, be honest...

Nothing wrong with going out with a guy you don't find so attractive once or twice, but he will probably fall for you; probably already has... Be kind, don't string him along. make it clear you are cool being friends but nothing more...

 

Why would you give a guy a fake number?

You liked him but gave him a fake number, that i do not understand.

Why not be honest?:rolleyes: Say no. Don't lie... It's sets a bad precedent for your life, ie. you become a liar..

KathyM Established Member

KathyM

Posted
Posted
Hmm.

 

At work, there's this really sweet guy. He is smart, funny, so sweet and seems so genuine.

 

He is a little chubby, not that cute or anything, wears nerdy glasses, kinda short... Etc.

 

He is also 26 years old.

I am 19.

 

One day we went for drinks after work, and he was a perfect gentleman- paid for all the girls drinks and was so sweet and funny, so not like otherguys I chill with. I got quite drunk and was pretty obnoxious but he still liked me and was so sweet. After, when everyone left, he walked me to the train and... Well one thing lead to another and we kissed!

Omg it was so nice. He is a good kisser, so sweet and he felt so guiltythat he was kissing a 19 year old- honestly, to me it's no big deal. I guess to him it is, but I think he likes me enough to get over it... It seems.

 

But now when I see him at work I really don't think he is that cute. I mean I can get over it, but is this fair to him. If anything progressed I wouldn't like him for how he looks, and is that fair? Does he deserve to have someone like him for how he looks AND his personality?

 

I'm used to dating very hot guys. Just today when I was in line with the uy from work, at starbucks, a guy bought me my drink and asked for my number. He was gorgeous- I gave him the wrong number but I still appreciated it. Guy from work was sad so I gave him a bit more attention and a little hug...

 

I'm ready to try something new... Dating from the heart.. But I like sexy men.. Shouldn't the uy from work want to be liked for his looks too?

 

Btw yes I posted this in dating but the title was misleading. I also felt it belonged here more.

Do the guy a favor and don't get his hopes up. If you're not attracted to him, then don't waste his time by flirting with him. If you start something with him, and then later decide you want someone you ARE attracted to, you will break his heart. My sister does this all the time with men, and I don't think it's fair to the men. She'll start dating someone, and even though there's no chemistry and she's not attracted to them, she'll continue to date them until she feels like calling it quits or someone better comes along. Then the guys end up angry and with a broken heart. Don't string him along. Don't get his hopes up. Let him know he's not really your type, and you shouldn't have given him the wrong impression.

ilikesunita Established Member

ilikesunita

Posted
Posted

OP, I will say one thing in your favour.

 

you are pretty, and I don't think anybody here gets why you lack self-confidence. IMO, Indian women generally have a high level of attractiveness.:p

 

I personally don't get why you feel down, but such is life, not everything has a ready explanation.:laugh:

  • 1 month later...
The Outlaw Established Member

The Outlaw

Posted
Posted

Personality over looks anyday. Sure, we all want to be with someone who looks good, but I'll be damned if I could ever remember when looks defined who you are on the inside. Sure, I mean, looks can and will get you ANYTHING you want, or almost anything you want in the world, but would you rather settle for someone with an awesome personality that doesn't have the looks or someone that has the looks but yet may lack a personality? Just 'askin.

LurkerXX Established Member

LurkerXX

Posted
Posted (edited)

Essentially, if she were somewhat on the more thoughtful end of things I would agree with personality trumping lack of big fireworks. But she is a little too 'OMG really!!LOL' about the real differences in their level of experience; if she was mature and it was a real turn off, she would leave him the F alone rather than toy with him. Well if he sees through her and its nothing too serious he'll be fine. But if he thinks that this one is mature enough for a serious relationship-he'll be burned.

Edited by LurkerXX
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