Getting myself out there

[Icanseethelight]

I'm a 19 year old girl who has recently gotten over about 8 months of severe agoraphobia. At this point I really want to make the most out of my new freedom. I've got a month and a half until summer is over and I really want to make the most out of my time, try new things, keep busy, have fun etc.

 

Also I want to take my mind of a guy. I don't want to be sitting at home thinking and worrying about him the whole time. I want to get out there and see that there are enjoyable things to do that don't involve love or sex.

 

What are some things I can do ? I'm not the most active/busy person so I'm a bit stuck.

 

Any ideas ?

 

Thanks

[Almond_Joy]

Hey Light,

 

I'm not a very active person either - I do a lot of reading, thinking and observing, and get a lot of contentment from quiet "low-energy" activities.

 

For me, fun is going somewhere beautiful and sparsely populated - like a park or a beach. Summer's the best time to visit places like this because you don't have to bundle up and the sun makes everything vibrant. The beauty of nature often makes me forget about anything that's on my mind.

 

If you're not a big nature person, you can try a local museum, too. Art can have the same effect as nature.

 

Another idea is to go to a library or coffee shop with a book you enjoy or want to read.

 

Hope these help

[Icanseethelight]

Thank you for the reply Almond_Joy. Those are some good ideas, they all sound appealing to me. I will try them

 

Anymore more replies will be appreciated Thanks

[lololo]

In today’s wired world, it seems easier for those of us who are a bit shy to just make the effort online to connect with people, either via the networks mentioned in the last posts, or by emails through a mutual a. However, I believe that it is essential to actually connect to people personally, face-to-face, in order to really make a lasting impression. And, this can be difficult for some people. Yes, it kinda sucks to go to an event where you know no one, and everyone else is talking to someone. How do you break into the conversation, or do you want to?

 

When I have done this is the past, I have usually had an introduction by a mutual acquaintance, but not always. I think we are in a fortunate profession, where people always seem to me to be genuinely interested in helping fellow colleagues. Sometimes you just take a deep breath and go introduce yourself. Sometimes, you can make eye contact with someone and get an encouraging smile that makes you feel more comfortable in going to do so. Or, if you are at a talk, the main speaker is usually always glad to hear feedback about the talk. The worst thing you can do is stand by yourself and look awkward and ill at ease. Find another person by themselves and try to put them at ease–they will appreciate it!

 

I have had a couple of face-to-face networking experiences; one was attending the ALA conference in Chicago in 2005. I did not know anyone, so I had to introduce myself to people I was sitting near, or ask questions if I was lost. It was good practice, and although at times it felt embarrassing, everyone was always really friendly and willing to share their thoughts. I also belong to SLA, previously as part of the MN chapter, and I have always gotten a lot out of the individual webinars and events held in our local area. I met a lot of really interesting people, and learned a lot about new technologies, copyright, and social networking. In MN, they even had a “presentation practice” session where each person who signed up could speak about anything they wanted for 3 minutes–library or non-library related. This was a great opportunity to hone your presentation skills in front of a forgiving audience, and to also get to know more personally your colleagues (I was an audience member, not a presenter, but wished I had tried it!)

 

So, yes, I believe that in conjunction with the other tools provided to us, we need to “pound the pavement” so to speak and put ourselves out in these public venues so that people can really get to know us. From my earlier networking post, I mentioned that I have already set up a couple of face-to-face meetings with people to get their views on the library industry and things I can do to move my job search along. As I said, it was hard, but in actuality it was really easy because everyone was friendly and accomodating, so don’t be afraid; take a deep breath and get yourself out there! You will find it worth it and, with practice, you may even enjoy it!

I was hoping some of you could help me out. I've been single for a year and half now. I'm pretty much a late bloomer by all aspects of women. It was my first LTR and it was really a great thing for me since it was the first time I'd been getting laid. lol After I broke up I thought it was going to be easy to start going out and dating all sorts of women. Because that was why I broke up in the first place, I wanted to experience more women before I settled down. More out of life, ya know.

 

Well time flies, Its been 1.5 years and I haven't gotten laid since. I think I've been making some ok progress this summer, but I realized how lucky I must of been to have gotten into my last relationship.

 

so basically, I've got a lot of good things going for me now. I've done very well in my line of work, I own my own place, etc, etc. But the thing that kills me the most is I can't the women. I don't really flaunt my money or nothing, but It amazes me how bad I'm failing at women. I live downtown, tons of women around me and I can't even get a freaken nice looking girl. Its my own fault, but I just want to change things.

 

I can talk and hold conversations, but I'm a big p*ssy and never engage women during the day. My friends never want to go out during the week days, so I feel like I'm on my own. Weekends are to few so I can rely on that crap anymore and most numbers I get turn into nothing anyways.

 

How do I meet people by myself? There is so much to do in a large like Chi-town, but Its hard for me to grasp the concept of going out by myself to "pick up" girls. How do some of you guys do it? I feel lost and I'm wasting my life not doing this stuff. I don't deserve to go unnoticed. Its BS because I have so much awesome opportunity right now its not even funny. I need help.

 

this is obviously a bit long of a post and I'm hoping to develop it further. I'll stop here for now.

 

thanks!

[KathyM]

I'm a 19 year old girl who has recently gotten over about 8 months of severe agoraphobia. At this point I really want to make the most out of my new freedom. I've got a month and a half until summer is over and I really want to make the most out of my time, try new things, keep busy, have fun etc.

 

Also I want to take my mind of a guy. I don't want to be sitting at home thinking and worrying about him the whole time. I want to get out there and see that there are enjoyable things to do that don't involve love or sex.

 

What are some things I can do ? I'm not the most active/busy person so I'm a bit stuck.

 

Any ideas ?

 

Thanks

You could take up a sport. Maybe tennis, biking, golf, or even dancing. You could develop new outdoor hobbies, such as hiking. You say you're not a very active person, but you could be if you wanted to.