Pregnant women with and their mates fooling around. More questions

[Rivka]

I found Tony's observation on how he noticed that men seem to fool around more DURING A PREGNANCY as opposed to after it. I just wondered what usually happens AFTER the pregnancy. Do these types of men usually STOP fooling around once the pregnacy occurs? or does their whole marriage/union fall apart? Do the dumb mistresses usually catch on that the men are lying? What becomes of THEM? How do the wives react if they find out?

 

I would like to hear some true stories if you've got any about these types of situations because the topic of infedelity intrigues and facsinates me even though I dread it top happen to me!

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Do these types of men usually STOP fooling around once the pregnacy occurs?"

 

I think you meant once the baby is born. Every case is different. Some men continue their extramarital relationships for a time because they have established an enabling schedule pattern that the spouse has accepted and has no suspcions about. However, most of these trists are of a temporary nature and end not long after the baby is born.

 

Don't get the idea this happens during every woman's pregnancy. I think the majority of men, over 50 percent, are very loyal and really want to be a part of this whole blessed sequence of events. But many men, especially those under 30, are not that far removed from the dating scene and know how to get out and have some quick flings.

 

YOUR NEXT QUESTION: "or does their whole marriage/union fall apart?"

 

Some fall apart right away, usually because the man can't handle responsiblity, the pregnancy was unplanned and the guy is too immature, or he may be too immature to handle the fact that the screaming baby and all the other trappings of caring for a newborn put him far down the priorty list of his wife, at least for a while. For these younger dudes to expect the same degree of attention they got before baby came is insane but we live in an insane world.

 

Some men just start looking for outside activities, unrelated to cheating on their wives, like coaching kids sports, volunteer work, getting a side job...or anything to get them away from the house. Let's face it. When mom comes home with new junior, it's a whole new relationship and a whole new life. There are actually some crazy guys out there that think the bliss they feel on their wedding day, honeymoon and initial days of homelife will last forever. With baby comes dramatic changes not only in homelife but changes in the people the new mom hangs out with, the entire family schedule, waking up three or four times during the night. For a good while, the character of the couple's social life dramatically alters.

 

It's too bad young people can't watch films showing what really happens when the baby comes...maybe not so many "babies" would be rushing out to get married.

 

NEXT QUESTION: "Do the dumb mistresses usually catch on that the men are lying?"

 

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Some men actually get a divorce and marry theIR mistress. My guess is that most guilt-filled husbands do not pursue this avenue. It's different in each case but my guess is that the truth usually comes out, at least that is what my personal observations tell me.

 

QUESTION: "What becomes of THEM?"

 

I think the other woman usually gets pissed, hurt, etc. but goes on with her life. I have heard of some becomming pregnant themselves on purpose just to complicate the guy's life. It happens all kinds of ways but how intense the extramarital relationship became probably determines the outcome. The more intense, the less pretty things can get.

 

ANOTHER QUESTION: "How do the wives react if they find out?"

 

They are usually eXtremely hurt and angry. Some understand and forgive; some understand and don't forgive; some leave their husband and take him to the cleaners and get alimony and child support for 18 years from very sympathetic judges; some take their gun out of the closet and put one between the guy's eyes. Every case is different but no case is a pretty picture.

 

I would say in a majority of cases, the wife does not find out.

 

YOUR REQUEST: "I would like to hear some true stories if you've got any about these types of situations because the topic of infidelity intrigues and facsinates me even though I dread it top happen to me!"

 

I won't bore you with an entire story but I will tell you that a man was very agressively pursuing a female friend of mine for some time and they actually went out for a while. One day she told me about it and told me the guy's name. He didn't know me but I happened to recognize his name from the days when I was a newspaper reporter. He was a police officer who was VERY married and whose wife was VERY pregnant. Needless to say my friend was VERY pissed.

 

I hope I have helped you a little bit and I hope others will relate some more detailed stories and their opinions. I will also tell you that married women cheat as often, if not MORE, than men. I am approached all the time by married women, mostly younger ones, whose husbands are not taking care of them sexually or treating them nicely. Some younger wives will seek to have sex with another guy as a grudge for some injustice they felt in their marriage. Others are just simply bored in a realtionship and want a variety.

 

Yes, there are some very wholesome couples who enjoy faithfulness, mutual love, admiration, respect, etc. I see them once in a while.

 

It just happens all kinds of ways. Maybe I ought to write a book.

 

Isn't love interesting???

[Deejette]

I was only twelve when I had my first Man-with-Pregnant-Wife experience. Even at that young age I percieved that the attention, looks, touch, etc., he was directing towards me was unwholesome: Especially because he would do it with his wife in the room sometimes. But apart from the pregnancy and even childbirth aspects, I have been the recipient of so many advances from married men whose wives were not even pregnant, it gave me a jaundiced view of the fidelity of males in general. (Even today a married man asked me out to lunch and he has been coming around every hour or so to see me where I work. He has already given me the "Wife doesn't understand me" speech.)

 

But as I got older, I noticed the quantity of infidelity among females (as Tony noted). I even created my own fair share of infidelity. Maybe monogamy is truly not a natural state and we are all making ourselves miserable expecting it to be.

YOU ASK: "Do these types of men usually STOP fooling around once the pregnacy occurs?"

 

I think you meant once the baby is born. Every case is different. Some men continue their extramarital relationships for a time because they have established an enabling schedule pattern that the spouse has accepted and has no suspcions about. However, most of these trists are of a temporary nature and end not long after the baby is born. Don't get the idea this happens during every woman's pregnancy. I think the majority of men, over 50 percent, are very loyal and really want to be a part of this whole blessed sequence of events. But many men, especially those under 30, are not that far removed from the dating scene and know how to get out and have some quick flings.

 

YOUR NEXT QUESTION: "or does their whole marriage/union fall apart?" Some fall apart right away, usually because the man can't handle responsiblity, the pregnancy was unplanned and the guy is too immature, or he may be too immature to handle the fact that the screaming baby and all the other trappings of caring for a newborn put him far down the priorty list of his wife, at least for a while. For these younger dudes to expect the same degree of attention they got before baby came is insane but we live in an insane world. Some men just start looking for outside activities, unrelated to cheating on their wives, like coaching kids sports, volunteer work, getting a side job...or anything to get them away from the house. Let's face it. When mom comes home with new junior, it's a whole new relationship and a whole new life. There are actually some crazy guys out there that think the bliss they feel on their wedding day, honeymoon and initial days of homelife will last forever. With baby comes dramatic changes not only in homelife but changes in the people the new mom hangs out with, the entire family schedule, waking up three or four times during the night. For a good while, the character of the couple's social life dramatically alters.

 

It's too bad young people can't watch films showing what really happens when the baby comes...maybe not so many "babies" would be rushing out to get married. NEXT QUESTION: "Do the dumb mistresses usually catch on that the men are lying?"

 

Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. Some men actually get a divorce and marry theIR mistress. My guess is that most guilt-filled husbands do not pursue this avenue. It's different in each case but my guess is that the truth usually comes out, at least that is what my personal observations tell me. QUESTION: "What becomes of THEM?"

 

I think the other woman usually gets pissed, hurt, etc. but goes on with her life. I have heard of some becomming pregnant themselves on purpose just to complicate the guy's life. It happens all kinds of ways but how intense the extramarital relationship became probably determines the outcome. The more intense, the less pretty things can get.

 

ANOTHER QUESTION: "How do the wives react if they find out?" They are usually eXtremely hurt and angry. Some understand and forgive; some understand and don't forgive; some leave their husband and take him to the cleaners and get alimony and child support for 18 years from very sympathetic judges; some take their gun out of the closet and put one between the guy's eyes. Every case is different but no case is a pretty picture. I would say in a majority of cases, the wife does not find out. YOUR REQUEST: "I would like to hear some true stories if you've got any about these types of situations because the topic of infidelity intrigues and facsinates me even though I dread it top happen to me!" I won't bore you with an entire story but I will tell you that a man was very agressively pursuing a female friend of mine for some time and they actually went out for a while. One day she told me about it and told me the guy's name. He didn't know me but I happened to recognize his name from the days when I was a newspaper reporter. He was a police officer who was VERY married and whose wife was VERY pregnant. Needless to say my friend was VERY pissed. I hope I have helped you a little bit and I hope others will relate some more detailed stories and their opinions. I will also tell you that married women cheat as often, if not MORE, than men. I am approached all the time by married women, mostly younger ones, whose husbands are not taking care of them sexually or treating them nicely. Some younger wives will seek to have sex with another guy as a grudge for some injustice they felt in their marriage. Others are just simply bored in a realtionship and want a variety. Yes, there are some very wholesome couples who enjoy faithfulness, mutual love, admiration, respect, etc. I see them once in a while. It just happens all kinds of ways. Maybe I ought to write a book. Isn't love interesting???