Arasae Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi there, gentlemen.. (and ladies, if you have thoughts!) I have a question... my boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year. Although we've had a few minor issues (mostly caused by me), we resolved them all six months ago and our relationship has been growing better each and every day. I am very sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm thinking he's having similar thoughts--while talking about the royal wedding, we started discussing OUR wedding (HIS prompting, not mine!), have been discussing parenting strategies (we've talked about this for hours and hours and hours...), types of houses we'd want to live in, decor ideas, how we'd want to handle our money, what marriage and commitment and monogamy really mean to us... All kinds of things like that. The entire nature of our conversations has gradually shifted over the past three months. I'm wondering if he's thinking about proposing possibly? Lately, he's been driving around with me and looking at neighborhoods (he's looking to buy a house) and asking my opinion on all kinds of things regarding that... And yet, he knows that I will not move in with a man unless we are engaged/married. Last week, we went shopping and, as usual, I was gawking at the pretty sparklies in the windows (I'm a girl, it's what we do!), and he encouraged me to go inside and look around so that "he would know what I like if he ever needed to buy me jewelry." I felt too silly about it to actually go inside, but.. still. He knows that I want a marquise cut, lol. Next month, we were planning on going hiking to one of the most beautiful lakes in the country--I figured we'd make a day trip of it. Instead, he booked the nicest hotel in the area (which is also a wedding destination, mind you--it's that nice!) where his parents once stayed, and plans on spending the day with me there before hiking the next morning. We'd sort of talked about something similar like this, but never seriously, and never beyond a Comfort Inne.. Our trip also HAPPENS to fall during the Perseid's meteor shower, which is something I really wanted to see with him last year, but he was out of town. Something about this whole thing struck me as strange--could he just want a romantic weekend with me, or might it be something more? At first, I didn't think anything of this trip.. He's told me in the past that I need to graduate and have a job lined up before a proposal would happen (long story behind that, not worth getting into), and that would be sometime next year. But lately, he's been asking me stuff like what I would do if I didn't get hired in my field right away. When I pointed out that since I turned sixteen, the longest I've been unemployed was three months, and that was for extenuating circumstances, he told me "At your age, I think I'd ONLY been employed three months.." So I don't know. Finally, he's been writing furiously in his journal lately--it is SO HARD NOT TO SNOOP! I won't do it, I refuse, but he's definitely picked that hobby up with a vengeance over the past month... Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. =) Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Dont count on it. Its great to talk to someone about similar ideas, hashing out scenarios, but it doesnt mean hes thinking of proposing, he could just be having fun discussing it. But if he gets on his knees one day, you'll be pleasantly surprised. So dont put much thought into anything until you are SURE that he is thinking of proposing. If he knows you want to hear that stuff, lotta guys will give you lip service to keep you from running away and leaving them lonely. But only you will know if hes being genuine or not. And hopefully you arent blindly trusting him because he tells you what you want to hear, hopefully you are trusting him because youve really thought out his words, actions, and the whole scenarios, and youre keeping a realistic eye on it. Link to post Share on other sites
make me believe Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Sure, it's possible that he might be thinking of proposing, but who knows for sure?? You've got yourself so built up that now if he doesn't propose on this trip you are going to be totally disappointed. Now that you are looking for "signs" everywhere you're bound to see them, but you can't take it too seriously. Afterall, you're basically scrutinizing his every move in order to convince yourself that he's on the brink of proposing! I don't mean that in a rude way, I just think you're getting yourself too worked up over a bunch of "what-if's". Have you guys ever had an honest talk about marriage? I don't mean skirting around the issue by talking about hypothetical kids & weddings. I mean a real, concrete talk about THE TWO OF YOU being married (not just "marriage" in general), a general timeline, etc? It sounds like your boyfriend is interested in marriage, but I agree with Eddie that you can't be sure because many guys will play hypothetical scenarios like that just to keep their girl around. Only you know your BF though, and it doesn't really seem like that's what he is doing, but at the same time I think that looking for hidden meaning in all of his actions could lead to disappointment for you if everything doesn't go the way you think it might. Link to post Share on other sites
amymarieca Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 My ex used to do stuff like that all the time for years. I had always built up scenarios in my mind whenever I thought he could have the chance to propose and always ended up disappointed. Sure he did lead me on, but it didn't help with me expecting it all the time. After 8 years of dating and 3 years of him dancing around the idea of marriage I just couldn't take it anymore and I left him. Please don't think that a man ever wants to marry you just because he hypothetically talks about these scenarios. Many men will say things that they never intend on doing, and I know this from past experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Arasae Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 So last night he took me to look at a house he's thinking about purchasing... and asked me to move in with him, not as a roomie or for monetary purposes, but for the purpose of eventually marrying. We talked about it for hours--long, long story short, he wants to propose (officially) to me when I finish school, we want a long(ish) engagement (two years) so that everything can be as perfect as possible, and then we'll try for kids two or three years after that. None of it was hypothetical--it was him and myself, talking about marrying each other in the rather near future. =D Guess it won't be this hiking trip (unless "out of school" means during a break! lol..), but it's certainly going to happen eventually! Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Sounds great! However, I had the same conversation with my now-ex one month before he broke up with me out of the blue. So, don't assume anything until there's an actual ring on your finger. One word of advice: if you know it's inevitable, don't try to second guess when it will happen. You'll ruin the surprise. Link to post Share on other sites
HomeAlok Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 Vinduer Online, landets største og bedste oversigt ved udskiftning af vinduer, tilbyder oversigt over mange forskellige typer, hvis det er udskiftning af vinduer der står for tur. Prisbillig og billige vinduer. Link to post Share on other sites
SydneyWilson Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I love to get as much information as I can. I have been thinking about proposing to my girlfriend for a while now. We have been together 3 years ... Link to post Share on other sites
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