Minds going crazy!

[PeterLove]

Hi guys.

 

I'll cut straight to the case.

 

Me an my girlfriend have been together for 4-5 years now. I love her dearly. She is my world. We love together and have done for some time. She recently went on her 1st holiday without me which I had no objections with as i trust her fully. While she was away I booked a trip to Paris. We always said we should go, we came close once but pulled out as I was tight for cash. I booked it as I felt I can afford it so why not.

 

Since she returned thinks have been 'meh'. I hug her and she doesn't hug me back sometimes. We talk as normal and we joke as normal. I fear maybe she has had enough of me. Maybe she feels I take her for granted, which I'm honest I do. Maybe I don't show her enough affection as I should. I have a feeling she's gonna leave me. I don't know why i just have it. I'm scared to ask much as i naturally feel sick cause I care so much. I did ask if all is ok she said yes. I take it no further. I trust her. I did the bad thing an have gone throu msgs, which I shouldn't, and although i trust her I couldn't avoid myself from doing it. One said she is thinking of leaving me and it's got me worried. I already asked is she ok etc and she said yea so as stated above I didn't ask anymore. She talks about her holiday a lot and I sometimes see updates on Facebook that confuse me (I hate fb btw). We go on holiday together with another couple in 2-3 weeks for 10nights and I almost feel like that could be our last time together.

 

Let me clear one thing up, we are not arguing and we are not fighting. She doesn't know I've seen the msg (wish I hadn't) so I'm trying to go by that and be as normal to her as possible. Obviously not being with her for a week whilst she's abroad wakes anyone up, I felt lost at times when she wasn't around, I just missed having her here at home.

 

The past couple of evenings together have been ok and nice. We have just chilled, listen to music and talk about everything and anything. She cooked dinner the other night I was going to yesterday but she wasn't hungry. I went to hug her and didn't really get anything back she almost make it 'funny' in pretending she didn't want to.

 

What do I do? The idea of losing her kills me. I can't eat or sleep worrying. I feel paranoid. She is my world. Losing her is un-thinkable. We talk as normal and joke around and have penciled in plans here and there (including a trip to her folks).

 

I leant in for a peck on the lips and she gave me one. Later she lent in to give me one as I did a favour so she said thanks. And the same earlier today. I lent in said gave me one an again it wasn't like she didn't want to but I don't think it would of bothered her if I didn't go in for it. I got a little more confused the other morning when I left for work before her and I said I love you, and if my hearing is correct (and I'm not hearing voices yet) she said "I love you too, see ya!"

 

I've spoken to a friend about how I'm feeling and he tried his best to clear my head. He said to go for the trip let her know shes special etc. He also said if she didn't want to be with you she would be gone by now and wouldn't stick around.

 

Do I do the big thing and carry on and make it work. Please her and make her smile. Show her I do care and show her that attention she deserves. If so help me in how! She doesn't like romance (flowers etc).

 

The trip to Paris. How do I tell her? Will that help things? Will it make it worse?

 

Sorry for the rambling and the fact the message is all over the place it just I'M SO CONFUSED AND SCARED!

 

Regards,

 

Peter S. Love

[analystfromhell]

"I'm going to Paris- if you'd like to come I have a ticket"