Hakuryu Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Hi...I'm 19, I'm good at everything I do, and for sure pretty good looking (I was told I'm handsome/hot by people). I'm a sensitive (although I can get insensitive when I'm hurt), gentle guy who treated my girlfriend like a queen. Yet she cannot help attract to a guy she has a crush on before she date me. He's the bad boy type, have reputation of playing girl feeling and only want to get in their pants. Yet she said she see some good in him... So we had a very complicated break up with many factors involve. But I can't help but feel that the root of all the problem is him. I don't think I deserve a girl that doesn't love me with all her heart...she'll probably get hurt...and I'm sad over it. But really...why do girls attracted to those types of guys? Link to post Share on other sites
Desert Rose Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 You're obviously a teenager, and I'm assuming that your ex-GF is your age, well...teenagers in general love to be wild, and those type of guys attract girls that age because of that, they make them go out of the system [break the rules] But you don't have to be a [bad guy] to attract girls, just be yourself and you'll find someone who'd love you for who you are! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hakuryu Posted July 26, 2011 Author Share Posted July 26, 2011 She's 16, I just thought usually girls mature faster than guys. I can't say I didn't go into the relationship without thinking about that. I was skeptical at first, but still choose to trust that she's mature enough. Guess not. I know I'm a good person and not going to change that. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 She's 16, I just thought usually girls mature faster than guys. I can't say I didn't go into the relationship without thinking about that. I was skeptical at first, but still choose to trust that she's mature enough. Guess not. I know I'm a good person and not going to change that. People mature at different rates. Also, avoid cliches. Furthermore, 'nice guys finish last' is what jackasses say in order to suppress the nice guys into thinking they're inadequate. False. Truthfully, nice guys can and should be the winners because you can still be confident, exciting, determined etc. etc. and not be a doormat. In fact, I'd say that being a nice guy and possessing all those qualities is the pinnacle of being a decent man and being a decent man is an excellent thing to be. Do not compromise your integrity. If this girl cannot appreciate you for the quality man you're turning into, it's her loss. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.goodguy Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Hi...I'm 19, I'm good at everything I do haha...this kind of attitude annoys me...but you are young so it is forgivable (for now). Obviously you aren't good at keeping a girl attracted to you.., and for sure pretty good looking (I was told I'm handsome/hot by people). I'm a sensitive (although I can get insensitive when I'm hurt), gentle guy who treated my girlfriend like a queen. Yet she cannot help attract to a guy she has a crush on before she date me. She wants what she cannot have. He's the bad boy type Meaning he has edge and is exciting, have reputation of playing girl feeling and only want to get in their pants. Maybe she wants someone more sexual and upfront. Yet she said she see some good in him... So we had a very complicated break up with many factors involve. But I can't help but feel that the root of all the problem is him. The problem definitely isn't the other guy. He's just doing his thing. The blame could be shifted to your girl for not loving you 100%. But in all honestly...the problem is you. For settling with this chick that isn't fully committed to you...obviously she is only 16! She's still a confused girl...doesnt know what she wants. She has to live, get hurt and understand what she wants in a companion. My suggestion is to move on...and with some modifying of your 'nice guy' persona, you'll land someone YOU deserve. I don't think I deserve a girl that doesn't love me with all her heart...You don't...there is no thinking about it. It's an absolute. she'll probably get hurt...and I'm sad over it. But really...why do girls attracted to those types of guys? . As for the 'Nice guys finish last'...it's true! I use to be the 'nice guy' but thanks to forums like this I see my mistakes. Life is about social climbing...throughout history women would (or dreamed to) get attached to someone with power (in todays world someone with a good job and money) in order to live the best life (every girl wants to be a goddamn princess!). NICE GUY - will do anything for his girl as she is his top priority. (boring existence) Women want challenges and not someone they have around their finger. I have a friend who is completely p*ssy whipped...from a friend looking from the outside in, it appears he is an extension of his girl...always obeying her orders. That isnt the way to live, but it should be as two individuals. BAD BOY - lives HIS life HIS way...and it is the girl who is lucky to be with HIM. (exciting existence)In relationships women do not need to put much effort into them because they are being hunted. However the bad boy flips the script because he doesnt give a damn if he get the girl or not cause he'll move on. There are a lot of mind games but there is a fine line between the two that, in theory, works. And don't forget that respect is needed for any relationship to work. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 You can still be a nice guy and not be a door mat. Sometimes being nice involves 'being cruel to be kind'. The problem is that, with these labels, they're taken far too literally. Link to post Share on other sites
thelovingkind Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Nice guys only finish last if you have a totally screwed perception of what being "nice" and what being "bad" entail. You can put yourself first, live life on your own terms, be exciting, independent, daring, playful, risky, fun, spontaneous, competitive and all these so-called "bad boy" traits while still being 100 percent nice (i.e. treating people with courtesy, respect and honesty). Don't focus on labels, focus on character traits. Identify and root out the unattractive ones, and hold on to the ones that count. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) But really...why do girls attracted to those types of guys? Because it's built into their DNA. It's a fact of nature that cannot be changed. Unfortunately, most "nice guys" learn this at the expense of a broken heart and a crushed ego. Never be a nice guy. You will always "finish last". The good news is, you have the tools within you to overcome the fatal "nice guy" syndrome, find the girl you want and become the man you were meant to be. But you must start applying the tools right away. Some of these tools include putting yourself first, saying yes when you mean yes, no when you mean no, and taking charge of your life, no matter what a girl might think or do or say. There are many others, but these are enough for lesson one, young jedi. NO MORE NICEGUY from Hakuryu! Most importantly, NEVER take advice on this subject from a woman (unless you think throwing gasoline on a fire will help). The sooner you become Hakuryu the man, the sooner you will find happiness. Drive on!!! Edited August 2, 2011 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Because it's built into their DNA. It's a fact of nature that cannot be changed. Unfortunately, most "nice guys" learn this at the expense of a broken heart and a crushed ego. Never be a nice guy. You will always "finish last". The good news is, you have the tools within you to overcome the fatal "nice guy" syndrome, find the girl you want and become the man you were meant to be. But you must start applying the tools right away. Some of these tools include putting yourself first, saying yes when you mean yes, no when you mean no, and taking charge of your life, no matter what a girl might think or do or say. There are many others, but these are enough for lesson one, young jedi. NO MORE NICEGUY from Hakuryu! Most importantly, NEVER take advice on this subject from a woman (unless you think throwing gasoline on a fire will help). The sooner you become Hakuryu the man, the sooner you will find happiness. Drive on!!! Is this a serious post? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) Is this a serious post? My part was (is). I wasn't joking, poking fun at anyone. Just stating facts and passing on some invaluable advice which has helped me in the past Edited August 2, 2011 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Girls like bad boys because on some level they believe they deserve to be treated like crap. The bad boys happily oblige! Link to post Share on other sites
akazid Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Don't let yourself be put in the 'nice guy' category. Nice Guy = doormat. This is from personal experience. Being a ncie guy is good but it isn't good enough unless you want to impress Grandma. Once you stop being a nice guy and, instead, start being yourself you'll notice a big difference. Key here is 'being yourself'. Don't suppress that in the name of the 'nice guy'. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 But really...why do girls attracted to those types of guys? Teenage girls are drawn to "excitement" and "drama" -- those are the standard code words for lots of emotional highs and lows, which "bad boys" are great at generating. Nothing pleases these girls more than the thought of being the one girl who can tap into the sweet relationship guy that she thinks is buried deep in the bad-boy's heart -- the code word for this is "challenge". Unfortunately, at your age, the code word for the typical sensitive, decent, reasonably intelligent guy is "boring". However, recognize that your strength is in the long term -- even if you don't find a woman that you really fall in love with, you can stay single for 15 or 20 more years and be a stronger catch at the end of that time than you are now. Use the short term for practice -- talk with and date different types of girls. Learn how to figure out what makes each individual girl special (or not-so-special . . .). Try to rein in the sensitivity in the initial stages -- wait until you are in an established relationship before really pouring on the queen treatment -- and above all, when it comes to falling in love, make sure you fall in love with the girl, not the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hakuryu Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Thanks all for comments and advice, your inputs are greatly appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
lonelyheartbeat Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Cliche or not, the nice guys finish last quote is true. I'm the same way. Too damn nice for my own good. I'm that dumbass that will apologize for something even if I know that I'm not in the wrong. Or at least partially wrong. But going to the subject at hand, dude, she's 16. Girls that age are not going to be making choices that are sensible. To be blunt, leave her alone, move on and find a nice girl more your age. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 16, 2011 Share Posted August 16, 2011 Best lesson I learned is to accept their path, be proud of who you are and focus on people with whom you have compatibility and where the potential for mutual love and respect exists. The rest? They have their lives. Hope they are as fruitful and long as they are completely irrelevant. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts