my boyfriend cheated... i am really hurt... what do i do?

[brokenheartedncali]

my boyfriend and i have been together for a year. about november i moved four hours away. just recently we went through a hard spot in our relationship and we broke up one day. then we got back together that night and we were ok. he was hanging out with this girl but claimed that it was nothing. Then i found out that they had sex twice. once the day we broke up and that was a friday... but it was also the day we got back together. the second was the next week on thursday when we were together.

 

he lied to me about it when finally the girl he did this with told me. the sad thing is, we hooked up again after they did on that day we broke up because we got back together. he said everything was fine and i dont really understand what happened. i gave him everything i possibly could. and he lied to me about it until a couple of days ago when i confronted him. he cried and told me he wanted to be together and he was stupid for doing it and that he would never do it again. he said that he didnt understand why he did it and he regrets it. now he doesnt talk to this girl but i dont care. i dont know what to do... i dont know whether to be with him or not because i love him but the thought of him taking her to that level that is supposed to be shared between two people who love each other. and i am so hurt but i love him i dont know what to do? please help!

[Sarah_J_uk]

i don't really know what to say to that. Perhaps give him one last chance and make sure he knows that it is just ONE chance. Tell him perfectly clearly that if he messes up again thats it. I know it wouodn't be that simple for you. be a bit distant with him perhaps is the bedroom department and let him know how badly he hurt you?? Don't really know what else to say. I feel for you.

[Good2Go]

Your a female. They associate love with sex. Men don't always do this. I certainly don't. Sometimes, it's jut about sex.

 

He got laid by someone else. It meant nothing to him. You mean everything to him. Give the dude a chance to redeem himself.

[brokenheartedncali]

but how am i supposed to feel? thats something that shouldnt be shared... especially when we broke up that day he did it. and then did it again. how do i cope with knowing that i have shared him with someone else?

[branan]

I am so sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve it, no matter what the problems were that were going on in your relationship. I understand that you still love this guy, and you want to forgive him. It doesn't mean that this guy is an unsalvageable jerk, but I don't think that the two of you will ever be able to have the kind of trust you used to. I know it's not fair and everything was supposed to happen differently in both of your minds, but do you really think you could ever get his misdeeds out of your head? Not only did this guy cheat on you the second he became single, he cheated a WEEK after you were together. I know you want to accept his apologies, but you deserve better.