dreamingoftigers Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 It is only legally "condoning" if you stay with the WS for a certain matter of time without any separate living arrangements (which can even be done in-house, such as myself and my H are doing). You can **** her right past the divorce if you really want to, wouldn't affect the legality. I am Canadian too btw. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanhandle Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Miky, I highly doubt she'll take that route. Too much at stake. She loves the comfortable life and not stupid enough to throw it all away. However, after this specific trip, I could be very wrong. She could come back f**ked up mentally as well as physically. In otherwords she could really believe the hype and think she could live with Castro Jr happily ever after. You never know. I will find out in the next 24-48 hrs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanhandle Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Thanks dreaming. I thought I had read something to that effect somewhere but I wasn't sure. From what I remember, I think the law says that once you find out about the affair, you must file and leave the shared residence within 5 months. Once you pass that time frame it will be considered as the BS condoning the action of the WS and therefore cannot file under those grounds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanhandle Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Dreaming, do you mind if I ask if infidelity was involved in your situation and secondly HOW do you guys manage to live under this arrangement? Wow, kudos to you if you're the BS. Personally, I think I would go nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 you mentioned those texts. Was she sending you the same type of stuff over text as well? You know, the I love you's and miss you....blah...blah...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanhandle Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Alright then! Its settled...I'll **** her silly until the divorce is final! Might as well "Hit it, while I still have it!" j/k Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I think I have gone nuts LOL I have a thread about it called "he chose the addiction" There were other people involved as well. He went to treatment, he has since relapsed and started drinking again too. Frankly we can't afford to live apart right now. He and I have both applied to work on the oil rigs and we have some joint debts that need to be paid down first. It is a living nightmare. After a little buy you can look at them and feel like to nothing though. It's really weird. Friday is the 2nd year anniversary of finding out about the Other Women. I am pretty numb to it now but it crops up every now and again, just less and less. We actually had sex yesterday too, just kind of scratching the itch. It was...... Nothing. Weird. I kind of wonder if I will ever be able to have a normal sex life with a man ever again. I assume so, I just may need a lot of time and help first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanhandle Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Some of it yes. Others were more defensive answers to questions I would throw at her like..."So? what did you do last night?" or "where are you now?". At one point she snapped "Are you checking on me?!". I didn't want her paranoid and thereby jeopardize the PI's work so I played the indignant part of "What? are you serious? you think I'm checking on you????". Her response..."I'm kidding! I miss you a LOT! You are the best and one and ONLY!" Speechless! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanhandle Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 Dreaming, that's EXACTLY how I envision it IF I were to do that with my WS. I would just not give a flying **** and go about my business. The only hard part is the interaction with the kids. Coz its hard to pretend that "Mom and Dad" are ok when you can't stand her/him. The sex part wouldn't be hard for me coz when I don't give a ****...I really don't! So it'll be like doing the "whore next door"! (my apologies to all whores that happen to be next door) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vanhandle Posted August 12, 2011 Author Share Posted August 12, 2011 You can tell I'm pissed eh? I don't often use profanity with such frequency but right now I am ****ing bloody pissed!!!! I think I'll hit the sack. Thanks everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Dude, it took me years to get to that point. It feels a little skeevy to sleep with him (we've only done it four times this year, so it's not like an all-out festival or anything). I just don't want to wait another 1.5 years or whatever to get laid again. I don't want my parts to forget how things work LOL Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Miky, I highly doubt she'll take that route. Too much at stake. She loves the comfortable life and not stupid enough to throw it all away. However, after this specific trip, I could be very wrong. She could come back f**ked up mentally as well as physically. In otherwords she could really believe the hype and think she could live with Castro Jr happily ever after. You never know. I will find out in the next 24-48 hrs. Alright then! Its settled...I'll **** her silly until the divorce is final! Might as well "Hit it, while I still have it!" j/k Love it! Keep your humour going! My fellow GTA'er.. (Please tell me you're Leaf fan!) Just seal your package..If you know what I mean! Link to post Share on other sites
The Blue Knight Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I can't believe I'm suggesting this Van but after reading some of the comments the idea came to me that if you really wanted to be James Bond like about the whole thing, you'd take her to bed when she gets home and go at it until you're absolutely spent. Then as part of the after-sex pillow talk as your you're laying there desperately panting and trying to catch your breath, you can say, "Oh, by the way . . . I'll be seeing a lawyer on Monday regarding you and the Cuban trash you've been F**king for the past couple of weeks." If you do go with this plan, please videotape her expression. It would be priceless! No, I'm kidding about that last part. Link to post Share on other sites
2011aug Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 This info may be helpful: http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/familyla.pdf page 16: your legal rights and obligations (Ontario specific) Link to post Share on other sites
aeg512 Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 One easy way to handle the return is just to remind her that before she left you advised her you would D if she went on the trip. Tell her since this will probably be done she needs to be staying in the guest room. Leave it at that and wait for the PI to return with the info. She will have a few days to tell her parents and friends how you have jumped to conclusions but you will get to see her face and theirs with what evidence you have when they see it. Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Like you said, with all the anger, humiliation, betrayal that I feel, this is after all the woman I married and created a family with. As hard it might be for some of you to fathom, there is a part of my heart that still loves her. After all, why would I be agonizing about all this if I didn’t care? Of course you still love her, and there's no need to sound apologetic about it. I hear many on here all the time acting like once they found out their partner was cheating they immediately stop loving them. I don't believe that. I don't believe it's possible for love to just stop like that. Falling out of love takes time, just like falling in love. Those people that immediately stopped loving their WS after learning of their transgression had already stopped loving them before that, IMO. Even so, at some point self preservation begins to outweigh whatever love is left. And Van, before you f up and sleep with your wife (and that's a typical male reaction to an affair), talk to your lawyer and make sure it won't hurt your case. Don't depend on what you read here. Link to post Share on other sites
Lexygirl Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Sleep with her after? Would you not be afraid of diseases? Um wow that's brave and a little sick. Link to post Share on other sites
Tech_E Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Hang in there Van. Hang in there. It'll be interesting to see how she reacts when she comes back. The texting with the bull___ "I love you's" makes my skin crawl. It really does. Good luck, stay calm, although I am sure many of us wouldn't blame you if you took her head off. Maybe a booklet on STD testing as a welcome home gift? Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 That's actually a pretty awesome suggestion! Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned_Wife Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Can any of my fellow Canucks say whether the 'sex condones the affair' applies in Canadian Divorce Law? Thanks. I've gone through the law top to bottom and have not seen anywhere in the legislation about "condoning" actions on the BSs part. Though, don't quote me, I may have missed it and legislation is notoriously difficult to interpret in Ontario without a paralegal or lawyer explaining some of it. Best bet, talk to your lawyer or call a paralegal and get a free consult on it over the phone. I've been following your thread for some time Van, I'm a fellow Ontarian myself (NOR). I'm so very sorry for what she's doing to you, I've been floored, flabbergasted and blown away by her actions and I'm rooting for you all the way. Do take into consideration that the Ontario Family Law courts are very, *VERY* biased against men. Keep on your toes when it comes time to do so. Infidelity is a difficult one to get in the courts here, if you don't go the infidelity route in the courts you need to be separated for a minimum of 1 year before divorce too (as in two different addresses) BUT you can set custody in family law courts first before divorce. Also, if she contests the divorce it'll take so much longer than just a year so keep your cards plain close to your chest and play them carefully when it comes to the divorce and custody and how you go about it. I'll be in your corner hoping you get where you need and want to be Van. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 I can't believe I'm suggesting this Van but after reading some of the comments the idea came to me that if you really wanted to be James Bond like about the whole thing, you'd take her to bed when she gets home and go at it until you're absolutely spent. Then as part of the after-sex pillow talk as your you're laying there desperately panting and trying to catch your breath, you can say, "Oh, by the way . . . I'll be seeing a lawyer on Monday regarding you and the Cuban trash you've been F**king for the past couple of weeks." If you do go with this plan, please videotape her expression. It would be priceless! No, I'm kidding about that last part. C'mon BK... You're Five-O... you know better than this. He does this at that point and he'll be in a vulnerable position... nekkid. His nekkid arse will be running down the stret away from an enraged woman Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 C'mon BK... You're Five-O... you know better than this. He does this at that point and he'll be in a vulnerable position... nekkid. His nekkid arse will be running down the stret away from an enraged woman :laugh::laugh:Van I am not laughing at you or your situation, but the picture that SC paints leaves a visual that I had of Mr. Messy. Running down the street nekkid with a lot of dogs chasing his wiener. Link to post Share on other sites
RetiredFuzz Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 You are NOT to harm, hurt, touch her harshness, be mean spirited or abuse her in way what so ever. Those are crimes son and you will pay dearly. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 Hey Van! Doesn't your WW come back today? Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted August 12, 2011 Share Posted August 12, 2011 :laugh::laugh:Van I am not laughing at you or your situation, but the picture that SC paints leaves a visual that I had of Mr. Messy. Running down the street nekkid with a lot of dogs chasing his wiener. LOL...OK your husband cheated. As you know I wont speak to the morality of that..... BUT How the hell did he get him self in the situation you mentioned....its so....wierd and... unnecessary Link to post Share on other sites
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