Mathematics Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Hello everyone My first post here and I wasn't sure where I'd put it. I think here is as good as anywhere though. Anyway, without further ado... I'm in a group of friends of about 7. Boys and girls, we drink and socialise together when we get chance. 3 or 4 of them I would consider friends who I would go for a beer or shopping with. The rest I only see each other when the group comes together. Because of that, I don't see them as friends. However, I am attracted to one of them. Firstly, I can't be sure if the feelings mutual. I've known her for over a year now and here's a list of what I would consider to be "Indicators of Interest". Do you agree? 1) She has a nickname for me. A playful one. You don't need to know what it is as it's playful, affectionate but derogatory at the same time. 2) She always draws attention to what I'm wearing or the way I'm look. This is always in a playful admiring way. "You're looking very dashing!" etc. This is never done to the other men in the group, and is always said with a big smile on her face. Once I wore a shirt that she could see my chest through apparently, which led to all sorts of attention. She even got her camera out. 3) Physical contact. However, this is somewhat limited. She's done the leg resting on mine trick 2 or 3 times. Also, she recently went abroard (she's still abroard) and give me a really big hug as we left. She didn't give this to anyone else in the group. She then initiated playful flirting by saying "I'll save myself for you!" as she walks off. This is probably the biggest IOI so far, I'd say. Shame I haven't seen her since! 4) Flirting. She has said things like "If were both single at 30 lets get married?" and "You're staying at mine tonight!", This is always said in front of everyone with a smile on her face. She's joking of course but she doesn't do it with any other of the males in the group. Only me. Hmmm. 5) She's currently out of the country but has been speaking to our friends on the internet. I haven't read any messages, but apparently she's been saying how much she misses me and has asked for the message to be passed on. Apparently this is more attention than even the people she's been speaking to have got! I don't have social network utilities and laying my life out on the internet takes away mystery and intrigue around me. As a result, I haven't spoke to her since she's been away. Normally, I wouldn't pay so much attention to trying to ascertain whether she's attracted to me. However, as there are mutual friends involved, who are always around I want to be as sure as I can that if I ask her out, I get the answer I want! They know nothing of how I feel but I think have noticed the flirting we do. I have no intention of discussing it with them due to any complication they may cause. Anyway, she's back in a few weeks and I've pretty much decided that I will ask her out. However, I'll ring her when she returns because I'd never get the time with her alone! However, can you lovely folks please have a look at what I consider to be signs she likes me, and see if you think she does? I could of course added things like "Eye contact" and "Plays with hair" but I find pretty much all girls do that. I think this is crunch time now. I've known her for years and I think if I put it off much longer she'll go cold on me. Thanks for reading! Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 She likes you. She feels comfortable enough with you to joke about and rest her legs on you. She's giving out mixed signals of flirty and good friends. There's always a risk in asking someone out but good friends and flirty is a good mixture. If she's missing you too, then everything suggests there may well be a strong attachment that could develop into more. If you do ask her out, remember to kiss her on the first date! Otherwise, it's still going to seem like friends going out together and the sexual chemistry element might not kick in. Link to post Share on other sites
crazylove Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 It sounds like she may like you:) Why don't u ask her friend to ask the girl to pass on your email addy? Then she can contact you:) You might find out a bit more about her before she returns then. Good luck:) Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Hi Math, There does not seem to be a mystery in the picture you painted. Throwing legs over yours and countless other come ons you listed. Seems she was basically throwing herself at you and is just shy from pulling her pants down and painting an arrow toward her uterus. Go for it, for it sounds like an easy conquest in man terms. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mathematics Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 Well, the signs have been there, yes. I wouldn't say it's as obvious as you make out though. Well, I didn't used to think it was. It really is crunch time when she gets back though. She's probably fed up with waiting for me to make a move. I think the real clincher was the hug (I was basically accosted without warning!) the last time I saw her before she went away. If she had given everyone the same threatment then I wouldn't have read much into it, but she didn't. It also seems I'm getting more treatment even with her being on the other side the world. I haven't spoke to her since she went away, and I haven't read the messages she has said to our friends, but she's asked for it to be passed on that she misses me. I was told by my friend who said "You're getting more attention than we are and you aren't even talking to her!". I've stayed very coy about it with our friends. I'm sure they have noticed the flirting we do but if they knew my feelings it a) add's pressure from them and b) they could complicate things. Because of this, I haven't read the messages. When she gets back, I'll call her. Catch up on her travels, tell her I missed her and ask her out. However, I have to make sure she realises that it's just me and her. She's likely to say "I'll see what everyone else is doing!" and misconstrue what I'm asking. I have to be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 If you are single and she is single, why would anyone care that u 2 hook up for a roll in the hay. You are a group of friends and when there is a group of men and women, hooking up is more common than uncommon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mathematics Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 If you are single and she is single, why would anyone care that u 2 hook up for a roll in the hay. You are a group of friends and when there is a group of men and women, hooking up is more common than uncommon. Oh, they wouldn't mind. I couldn't care less if they did mind, either. But, I don't trust 1 or 2 of them enough to not tell her my feelings. She has to hear it from me, not them. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Hello everyone My first post here and I wasn't sure where I'd put it. I think here is as good as anywhere though. Anyway, without further ado... I'm in a group of friends of about 7. Boys and girls, we drink and socialise together when we get chance. 3 or 4 of them I would consider friends who I would go for a beer or shopping with. The rest I only see each other when the group comes together. Because of that, I don't see them as friends. However, I am attracted to one of them. Firstly, I can't be sure if the feelings mutual. I've known her for over a year now and here's a list of what I would consider to be "Indicators of Interest". Do you agree? 1) She has a nickname for me. A playful one. You don't need to know what it is as it's playful, affectionate but derogatory at the same time. 2) She always draws attention to what I'm wearing or the way I'm look. This is always in a playful admiring way. "You're looking very dashing!" etc. This is never done to the other men in the group, and is always said with a big smile on her face. Once I wore a shirt that she could see my chest through apparently, which led to all sorts of attention. She even got her camera out. 3) Physical contact. However, this is somewhat limited. She's done the leg resting on mine trick 2 or 3 times. Also, she recently went abroard (she's still abroard) and give me a really big hug as we left. She didn't give this to anyone else in the group. She then initiated playful flirting by saying "I'll save myself for you!" as she walks off. This is probably the biggest IOI so far, I'd say. Shame I haven't seen her since! 4) Flirting. She has said things like "If were both single at 30 lets get married?" and "You're staying at mine tonight!", This is always said in front of everyone with a smile on her face. She's joking of course but she doesn't do it with any other of the males in the group. Only me. Hmmm. 5) She's currently out of the country but has been speaking to our friends on the internet. I haven't read any messages, but apparently she's been saying how much she misses me and has asked for the message to be passed on. Apparently this is more attention than even the people she's been speaking to have got! I don't have social network utilities and laying my life out on the internet takes away mystery and intrigue around me. As a result, I haven't spoke to her since she's been away. Normally, I wouldn't pay so much attention to trying to ascertain whether she's attracted to me. However, as there are mutual friends involved, who are always around I want to be as sure as I can that if I ask her out, I get the answer I want! They know nothing of how I feel but I think have noticed the flirting we do. I have no intention of discussing it with them due to any complication they may cause. Anyway, she's back in a few weeks and I've pretty much decided that I will ask her out. However, I'll ring her when she returns because I'd never get the time with her alone! However, can you lovely folks please have a look at what I consider to be signs she likes me, and see if you think she does? I could of course added things like "Eye contact" and "Plays with hair" but I find pretty much all girls do that. I think this is crunch time now. I've known her for years and I think if I put it off much longer she'll go cold on me. Thanks for reading! Honestly, do you need to be hit over the head and dragged off before you realize that this girl likes you? I mean, how much more obvious can she get? Make your move ASAP before she finds somebody else or decides you're a clueless, hopeless character that is too difficult to get something going with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mathematics Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 Honestly, do you need to be hit over the head and dragged off before you realize that this girl likes you? I mean, how much more obvious can she get? Make your move ASAP before she finds somebody else or decides you're a clueless, hopeless character that is too difficult to get something going with. I would have done a month ago had she not been on the other side of the world. I have 3 weeks of my mind running over hypotheticals. When she gets back, I'll call her. Don't you worry. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Hi, I am having a hard time understanding any of your reasoning. Your friends obviously know she likes you, if she does all that you mention above. Why does it matter if her friend said I think Ken likes you. By thinking too much and too deeply into the situation it may end up with you being disappointed once you hook up. You are taking this way too seriously. It is not a marriage proposal. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 I would have done a month ago had she not been on the other side of the world. I have 3 weeks of my mind running over hypotheticals. When she gets back, I'll call her. Don't you worry. Good. You do that. She wants you to. You think too much. Gotta take action and be the aggressor in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mathematics Posted July 31, 2011 Author Share Posted July 31, 2011 Hi, I am having a hard time understanding any of your reasoning. Your friends obviously know she likes you, if she does all that you mention above. Why does it matter if her friend said I think Ken likes you. By thinking too much and too deeply into the situation it may end up with you being disappointed once you hook up. You are taking this way too seriously. It is not a marriage proposal. Yes, I am. But I wouldn't be here if it was all figured out. Same old story, lack of experiance leads to asking her out being a daunting prospect. However, I am a very easy going guy. In this case, too easy going and I haven't manned up enough to ask her! Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Math, make it fun and importantly, make it different to ease the typical uncomfortable first date dinner. Why not have fun, ask her to go play bingo. You will get to know one another naturally. You will have a blast watching all the old folks, then go grab a bite to eat, dine and wine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mathematics Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 Math, make it fun and importantly, make it different to ease the typical uncomfortable first date dinner. Why not have fun, ask her to go play bingo. You will get to know one another naturally. You will have a blast watching all the old folks, then go grab a bite to eat, dine and wine. I did consider the zoo for about 30 seconds. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveandSuch Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I did consider the zoo for about 30 seconds. Ha Ha Ha! So what's wrong with zoos. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mathematics Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 Ha Ha Ha! So what's wrong with zoos. Oh nothing. There just isn't one nearby. It would be a day trip. Maybe for a latter date. Link to post Share on other sites
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