1 year on :-)

[alwayshoping]

Hey guys.

 

So this is me. One year on.

 

Wow what a difference time makes. Things in my life looked bleak for a time.

 

Yet here I am. I stand tall and proud. My ex did not break me. Yes she hurt me but I am too good a person to let her walk away with the spoils.

 

But I genuinely feel stronger and wiser because of it.

 

This site helped me so much in the aftermath of the break up. So I thought it only polite to return and give everyone some hope.

 

Read my previous threads and see the state I was in.

 

Hindsight offers 20/20 vision they say. I never truly appreciated that statement until now.

 

So here is how it went with me. The first 6 months I was a wreck and couldn't stop thinking of her. Yes I met other girls but they never seemed to compare. Then between the 6 month stage and a year, I stopped thinking of her. I put myself first, and devoted time and energy to my work, friends and family. Something I felt I had neglected throughout the relationship. I started eating better and dropped from 94kg to 78kg and felt amazing, funny and like myself again.

 

Then after 10 months, I went to a friends engagement party. I was asked to give some people a lift. I obliged. I got talking to a girl who was sat directly behind me whilst I was driving and didn't even know what she looked like but knew that we had hit it off so to speak. Since then we have been on many a date and things are so lovely. Even if things don't work out with her though I still feel happy in myself.

 

The point I am eluding too, is that during relationships we seem to forget ourselves and our hobbies, friends and ambitions. But we shouldn't as this is what makes us, us.

 

Anyways, I wont babble on. I just really want you guys fresh from a break up to know that if someone doesn't want to be with you then you should think the same regardless of your feelings. They rejected you, and frankly put, you can do better, starting off with someone who actually wouldn't ever contemplate hurting you or breaking your heart.

 

Remember how you would never have hurt them in the same way they hurt you? you need to find someone who thinks that about you.

 

Lastly, I just want to say that my ex breaking up with me was a blessing in a very good disguise. It took me nearly a year to see it but I was not happy in the relationship and deserved to be loved by someone who adored me, and I, her.

 

I realised lately, that too many of my friends are looking for a relationship as a vacation away from their misery and life. Relationships are not about finding happiness. Its too happy people getting together and making each other happier. You must be happy single and alone before you have a chance to make someone else happy and take care of them.

 

Just know things will get better and you will all make it through to the other side stronger and better than ever before. The road is traitorous and almost like a rollacoaster of emotions with more downs than ups. But eventually in your own time, your heart heals and you will be ready to love again. Hopefully next time it will be better and the person will treat your heart they way you treat theirs.

 

Good luck guys. This is my checkout post but stay strong and remember NC really is the way forward because wanting someone that rejected you is just setting yourself up for a fall. You can and will do better than the losers that dumped you.

 

Tc

[wheream_i]

Good for you! Keep up the good work.

[xeros]

Well done! You remind me so much of myself. It was very hard for the first 6 months or so, even my relationship after her just didn't feel right because of it, but after that ended and the sixth month marker things just got so much easier, I completely forgot about her and met someone else and was able to have a great relationship without the though of her even crossing my mind. While I might be alone again, the fact I overcame that makes me so proud of myself. Well done dude!