KR10N Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Awwww does that mean cheating isn't allowed anymore? You're going to upset a lot of cheaters and OW/OM if you actually insist on some general standard of overall "goodness." Totally cuts into their action.Is there something wrong w/ being good to others? Usually, it works in everyone's favor. Link to post Share on other sites
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 ? Penguins are only monogamous for one breeding season so I don't think things would improve if we followed their example. It depends on the species. Emperor penguins are monogamous. Point is be faithful. http://www.animalfactguide.com/animalfacts/emperor-penguin/ Emperor penguins are monogamous during each breeding season, choosing only one mate. Most will find a new mate the next year, but some pairs choose to reform a bond again. Link to post Share on other sites
Audrina Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Swans are monogamous. Link to post Share on other sites
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Swans may not be monogamous. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/gloucestershire/8477351.stm http://ecolocalizer.com/2010/01/26/researchers-discover-swans-may-not-be-as-monogamous-as-thought/ http://mg.co.za/article/2006-06-07-research-smashes-image-of-monogamous-swans Don't know how reliable some of this is as it's fairly recent. We really shouldn't be looking to the animal kingdom as a guide. We are far removed from the animal kingdom. Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Jesus fûcking Christ! I'm going to bash my brains out... The biological definition of the word, animal, refers to all members of the kingdom Animalia, encompassing creatures as diverse as sponges, jellyfish, insects and humans. Damn homosapiens! Link to post Share on other sites
Hi.P.O'Crit Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 OK. Then quit complaining when humans do things that hurt you and benefit them. The animal kingdom is full of opportunistic survivalists. Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 (edited) Wrong. Man was created in God's image. When you call man an "animal" you make Baby Jesus cry. --Your truly, Charles Darwino_O OK. Then quit complaining when humans do things that hurt you and benefit them. The animal kingdom is full of opportunistic survivalists.I have never been cheated on. Nor would I. How does cheating benefit anyone? Edited July 31, 2011 by KR10N Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted July 31, 2011 Share Posted July 31, 2011 Pixie is a cheater Stone Cold is a cheater Tech E is a cheater *************** What more needs to be said about their compulsive rationalizing of "bad behavior"? Nothing. Compulsive rationalizing? I don't think anyone can say I have done that at all. I have never said cheating was right-in fact- just the opposite. Cheating is wrong- the infidelity is wrong-but there are two people in a marriage and it is rarely just one person's fault that the marriage goes wrong or that the conditions are there that lead it vulnerable to an affair. If you want to believe otherwise because it makes you feel better and you can continue to play the victim go ahead and do so. I fully own up to my downfallings but not everyone can do the same, I get that. I am not a cheater now- I was one at one time, once. Just like at some point in your life you may have done something you aren't proud of as well. The difference is I am here trying to help people who are the BS- not the WS despite whatever you think is happening. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 FYI Harley clearly has stated the position that if his spouse ever cheated on him personally he would dump her in a heartbeat with zero chance at reconciliation. Stop reading so selectively. How is this for selective for you- try this on for size. Page 20-His needs/Her needs-top paragraph "In marriages that fail to meet those needs, I have seen, strikingly and alarmingly, how married people consistently choose the same pattern to satisfy their unmet needs: the extramarital affair. People wander into affairs with astonishing regularity, in spite of whatever strong moral or religious convictions they may hold. Why? Once a spouse lacks fulfillment of any of the five needs, it creates a thirst that much be quenched. If changes do not take place within the marriage to care for that need, the individual will face the powerful temptation to fill it outside the marriage" I am not justifying the fact that people do step outside of their marriage which is clearly wrong but this passage along with many others in his book show that he clearly doesn't believe it is always one sided. Yes, at times it is but not always. Until one always blames their problems on the other party and plays the victim continually one can never get better and learn from their experiences and are doomed to repeat them. Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Bitter? No... I may be getting it once a year from my spouse but I'm getting it many times a year elsewhere so I'm happy If your spouse can bring herself to have sex with you only once a year then, by your rationality, you must be doing something to her then to make her feel that way. Link to post Share on other sites
wheelwright Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 AP soul - Interesting, full of life, non-judgmental, following the heart, passionate, foolish, willing, romantic, dangerous, with verve MP soul - Steady, stagnant, judgemental, duty bound, loving, wise, unwilling, romantic, safe, with circumspection Doesn't have to be that way, but the posts here make me think of the above when we look in on our own way of describing it. And then we choose. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I am certainly not trying to say at all that it is the BS fault that their partner chooses to have an affair. At all. The person who cheated made the decision to cheat. There are just two people in a marriage and both of them create problems in it most of the time, not only the person being unfaithful. There are many other ways you can hurt your spouse besides having sex with someone else-many ways you can abandon them and not respect them. I think people just focus on sex most of the time because it is the most taboo. Both people make mistakes-but when there is cheating involved it always seems as if the other person doesn't have to step up and take responsibility for their actions or the things that they did in the marriage-which I don't think is fair. The cheating wasn't fair or right of course but in most cases wasn't the first problem. Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 To Monogamy...really? Get off your moral high ground and come down to reality!!Dear god! It was merely a simile to being faithful. Don't read too much into it. Excuse me for having standards, respect for myself & the people I care about. Perhaps if more people were on a 'moral high ground' the world wold be a better place. No murder, rape, lying, stealing, cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 If your spouse can bring herself to have sex with you only once a year then, by your rationality, you must be doing something to her then to make her feel that way. Perhaps... and if you had READ everything I said you would have gotten that instead of cranking out this half assed comment of "enlightenment" Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Perhaps... and if you had READ everything I said you would have gotten that instead of cranking out this half assed comment of "enlightenment" Oh I have read. So the cheating really is your fault because YOU choose not to divorce. And all the pathetic insults merely serve to cement the fact of your abrasive personality type. No wonder she can stand to do you only once a year. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 It depends on the species. Emperor penguins are monogamous. Point is be faithful. No they're not. They are only monogamous for a mating season. Listen the next time Morgan Freeman talks. Look it up if you don't believe it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Penguin Link to post Share on other sites
Severely Unamused Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 To Monogamy...really? Get off your moral high ground and come down to reality!! Most marriages end in divorce after 4 years! Most humans are not equipped to be monogamous over the course of a long term relationship, or marriage. Statistics and modern data indicate that marriage and monogamy do not work for the long term. Look at your neighbors and friends! What is the main downfall in a divorce? We are preconceived through conventional brain washing that we marry and sign on the doted line and thats it! Conventional monogamy is not realistic! Americans are so caught up on "Cheaters" and forget that all mammals including humans are not capable of having one sexual partner forever! It is so misguided to think you marry and you close the door to other relationships that involve sex, love and friendship! We are SEXUAL BEINGS..nothing changes that, not religion, political affiliation or the amount of money you make. Open relationships in marriage are the answer and alot of couples have stayed together because of coming to terms with a common element in all marriages...BOREDOM, LACK OF INTIMACY!! So Hall passes and Kitchen passes do work, but dont discount it, or begrudge it just because its not mainstream or socially acceptable. Oh God, you're one of those types of open marriage couples. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Oh God, you're one of those types of open marriage couples. oh jeezus here goes another paper soap box tirade Link to post Share on other sites
Severely Unamused Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) oh jeezus here goes another paper soap box tirade Oh yes, my one line paper soap box tirade was truly a wonder to behold. Especially coming from you. A poster that has, for the most part, kept his "radical" opinions nice and concise. Puh-lease, get off your high horse. I'll take your bait and go on a tirade, Cold. It's going to be a big one though. I'm in quite a good mood and I'm on a lunchbreak. Of course I know the "type". I see it in pro-marijuana legalisation groups. Straw feminists. Militant vegetarians. Militant atheists and theists. Gun rights activists. Pro and anti-abortion groups. The usual suspects. Here's the usual clichés: We need to see the big picture. We shouldn't be bound by the laws of conventional morality. We need to rage against the system. Look beyond the rules set in front of us. Avoid the mainstream. Rise above mediocrity. Decide our own destiny. It's like something out of a charming inspirational poster that you find in an office cubical. Oh, and let me guess, it's beyond our tiny brains to understand the other side's point of view, right? We just couldn't understand something so morally complex. Oh my. As entertaining as it is to watch the smaller group of loudmouths get on their soap box, and lecture the larger group of loudmouths, it is ultimately, a futile effort. I've read through this entire thread. Your comments bore me Cold. You fail to entertain or educate me. I find you too predictable, like a robot with nothing but preset commands. But let me guess, you don't care about my opinion right? And since I didn't bow down to your glimmering insights, you will no doubt rebut me with the usual mock condescension, or perhaps grudging acknowledgment if I'm ever so lucky. Nothing personal. I'm not trying to be rude, but I'd rather just go with blunt honesty. Please, go ahead and continue goading that Repair Minded person into lambasting you. He's just as predictable with his comments. Feel free to continue your little war against the BSs here. Ciao. Edited August 1, 2011 by Severely Unamused Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) Oh yes, my one line paper soap box tirade was truly a wonder to behold. Especially coming from you. A poster that has, for the most part, kept his "radical" opinions nice and concise. Puh-lease, get off your high horse. I'll take your bait and go on a tirade, Cold. It's going to be a big one though. I'm in quite a good mood and I'm on a lunchbreak. Of course I know the "type". I see it in pro-marijuana legalisation groups. Straw feminists. Militant vegetarians. Militant atheists and theists. Gun rights activists. Pro and anti-abortion groups. The usual suspects. . You dont know jack amused...you're talking about somebody you dont even know. But let me guess....just because they dont conform to popular opinion they are insignificant right? .... because they are outnumbered they should just tow party lines right unamused? .....and you know so much more than them oh learned one... give me a break you may think the few vs the many is a futile effort. But if you brush up on your history and pay attention to what is currently go on around you (as it always has) you wouldnt be so quick to be so dismissive. I've read through this entire thread. Your comments bore me Cold. You fail to entertain or educate me. I find you too predictable, like a robot with nothing but preset commands. But let me guess, you don't care about my opinion right? And since I didn't bow down to your glimmering insights, you will no doubt rebut me with the usual mock condescension, or perhaps grudging acknowledgment if I'm ever so lucky. Nothing personal. I'm not trying to be rude, but I'd rather just go with blunt honesty.. I'm not here to surprise you with twists and turns and if I fail to "entertain and educate" you... that aint my problem.... Please, go ahead and continue goading that Repair Minded person into lambasting you. He's just as predictable with his comments. Feel free to continue your little war against the BSs here. Ciao. As for repair minded... I nailed that goof to the wall too many times...I'm done with him. If you think I'm at war with BSers here.....thats on you...But let me guess...you are a newly minted BSer so you are about as reasonable as 15 yr old adolecent...so its no wonder you think I'm at war with BSers. ...anyways this is starting to become a thread jack Edited August 1, 2011 by StoneCold Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 To Monogamy...really? Get off your moral high ground and come down to reality!! Most marriages end in divorce after 4 years! Most humans are not equipped to be monogamous over the course of a long term relationship, or marriage. Statistics and modern data indicate that marriage and monogamy do not work for the long term. Look at your neighbors and friends! What is the main downfall in a divorce? We are preconceived through conventional brain washing that we marry and sign on the doted line and thats it! Conventional monogamy is not realistic! Americans are so caught up on "Cheaters" and forget that all mammals including humans are not capable of having one sexual partner forever! It is so misguided to think you marry and you close the door to other relationships that involve sex, love and friendship! We are SEXUAL BEINGS..nothing changes that, not religion, political affiliation or the amount of money you make. Open relationships in marriage are the answer and alot of couples have stayed together because of coming to terms with a common element in all marriages...BOREDOM, LACK OF INTIMACY!! So Hall passes and Kitchen passes do work, but dont discount it, or begrudge it just because its not mainstream or socially acceptable. That's not really true that most marriages end in divorce after 4 years. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That means 50% of all marriages stay together. I know many married couples whose marriage has withstood the test of time. I am one of them. Humans are supposed to be more evolved in their thinking than animals. They value things that are above their mere basic needs or physical needs. There is no reason in the world why sex within the boundaries of a marriage has to be boring. It's only as boring as a person makes it. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 That's not really true that most marriages end in divorce after 4 years. 50% of all marriages end in divorce. That means 50% of all marriages stay together. I know many married couples whose marriage has withstood the test of time. I am one of them. Humans are supposed to be more evolved in their thinking than animals. They value things that are above their mere basic needs or physical needs. There is no reason in the world why sex within the boundaries of a marriage has to be boring. It's only as boring as a person makes it. The bolded is true... But one cant over look the increasing failure rate of marriages. IMHO it may be an indicator of something that is not natural...if we are at 50% now and the human species is still in somewhat of an infancy stage...you gotta wonder Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 The bolded is true... But one cant over look the increasing failure rate of marriages. IMHO it may be an indicator of something that is not natural...if we are at 50% now and the human species is still in somewhat of an infancy stage...you gotta wonder The divorce rate is higher now because so many people don't value marriage anymore. They go into it with the mindset that if it doesn't work out, they can always get a divorce, and they are ready to throw in the towel at the drop of a hat. I don't know why some people even bother to get married, if they don't value it or honor it. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I've never really found a good argument for why cheating in marriage is worse than cheating in general. Especially since a divorce is attainable. The ability and want to be monogamous can be present without a contract and since there is nothing making a marital contract unbreakable, I can't imagine being married to be what stops someone from infidelity anymore than a simple verbal agreement would stop someone. You're either a person of your word or you're not. If you're not a person of your word without a contract, there isn't a contract that will make you into one. Yet people are always acting like infidelity within a marriage is somehow worse. Its the same act either way. Whatever emotions drove the WS to cheating doesn't hinge on a contract. Whatever pain it causes doesn't hinge on a contract. The contract won't prevent STDs or make it so the relationship can't end in the event of infidelity. Really what is that contract for when it comes to infidelity? I think if you really want to talk about preserving marriage, fidelity shouldn't be part of what the agreement is about. Link to post Share on other sites
StoneCold Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 The divorce rate is higher now because so many people don't value marriage anymore. Clearly....but why? Link to post Share on other sites
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