I feel like crap

[Dorie]

She's not your gf, why kiss her? Unless you and her are both into FWB's or ONS.

 

I am confused by this too. She won't even allow you to hug her. What makes you and the others think a kiss will work?

 

Perhaps it's just the final attempt to establish her level of interest. If it is the final attempt, carry on.

[HeavenOrHell]

If it's not a FWB or ONS situation then couples usually get to know each other a bit more before kissing.

 

If she's really not the touch feely type, why are you wanting to be with her? You need an affectionate woman with a sexual appetite. Are you prepared to put the time in it might take for her to change if she has sexual hang ups, and put your own needs to one side? If she goes for therapy for sexual problems it could take years. If you're interested in her as she's your only option then that's the wrong reason to pursue her

 

 

 

People keep telling me that I should kiss her. She's not my GF but I want her to be.

 

I don't have any experience in dating so I don't know how those things start happening.

 

"Sexual anorexia is a term used to describe a loss of "appetite" for romantic-sexual interaction. However, the term is used broadly and can be better defined as a fear of intimacy to the point that the person has severe anxiety surrounding sex with emotional content i.e. in an intimate relationship."

 

Hell, that sounds like her. I should try and sign her up.

[Ross MwcFan]

Well you haven't sent me a PM about those mp3's.

 

What's the harm in giving them a try? You don't need to actually do anything with most of them, you just lie there with your eyes shut.

[Teknoe]

Well you haven't sent me a PM about those mp3's.

 

What's the harm in giving them a try? You don't need to actually do anything with most of them, you just lie there with your eyes shut.

 

 

Ross, it's time to open your eyes. SD81 is all talk, no walk. He has problems. Half the time he admits it. Half the time he denies it (just read his posts and you'll see he's like 50/50). However, the one consistent thing is, 100% of the time he's just hot air. Talk. Puff.

 

No action.

 

I don't doubt he wants to genuinely change, but I think it's a very unrealistic approach he's taking. He wants to change magically, with no or VERY little effort (nothing outside his 2 centimeter comfort zone).

 

I've tried to help him before.

 

I even spent a decent chunk of time praying for him during my prayer time, even had leaders at my church praying for this 30 year old man in Southern California I know through a message board. We've lifted him up in prayer.

 

I'm just tired at this point. I don't mind if he fails, as long as he tries.

 

What irks me is he talks the talk, but never walks the walk. He doesn't even TRY. He is choosing to live his life the way he is.

 

And as long as he keeps obsessing over being with a girl, any girl, he'll never truly have a breakthrough. It will be one depressing failure after another. He's gotta put any female on the backburner and just focus on taking good care of himself -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

 

He doesn't really want to do that, though.

 

He's obsessed with how to kiss this lady friend of his, even she won't even hug him. I mean, he's trying to sprint a 10K marathon when he can barely do 1 lap. Failure is imminent.

 

I think all we do... honestly... much like One Goal... is we enable SD. He enjoys these long threads... he enjoys the anonymous attention... he probably wastes a good hour or THREE every day reading up on LS and responding. It's just another time-filler/killer for him, instead of turning off his PC and doing something productive.

 

Ross, I don't want to tell you what to do, but I remember your posts. You were once in SD's shoes. I remember. However, unlike SD, you had the courage and humility, because it does take a certain humbling of oneself to admit you really are messed up and need outside help/intervention, to actually self-improve.

 

I applaud you Ross. You give me hope. Dealing with guys like One Goal and SomeDude81 has been far too disheartening. They have slightly different methods, but in the end they are mentally distraught. They refuse to see their true problems, always selfish on what they want. Ever notice the similarities?

 

OG and SD both want a girl in their life.

 

OG pushes and pushes. He gets a restraining order.

 

SD pushes and pushes. The girl is indifferent, CLEARLY not interested, yet he still pushes.

 

Similar to OG's "I just want to date her. Why won't she date me? I'm nice."

 

SD is "I just want to kiss her. Why won't she even hug me? I'm nice."

 

Call it what you want SD, but you are a lot closer to One Goal than you are NOT. If One Goal is a 1, and a normal person is a 10 on a scale, you are closer to 1 than you are to 10, that's for sure.

 

For once I would just like SD to come out and say something like

 

OK guys, I admit now... I do have problems. I do need to seek real life professional help. I'm seeing a therapist Monday. I've also contacted my local church to see when their next young adults activity night is. As for my lady friend, I admit I still want to be with her, but I know that's not something I can control. Therefore, as hard as it is, I will stop worrying so much about her. It's out of my hands.

 

I really want to get better, in my head and in my heart. I think I will take a break from girls. I need to focus on a small manageable thing, like making male friends, and rebuild my foundation. That's why I'm going to the activity night as soon as someone replies to my email. I want to start over and renew my thinking, renew my life

 

And then he lives that.

 

Instead, we're going to get something like

 

I'm not One Goal. It's funny you guys are comparing me to him. He's crazy. I'm not. I'm just a normal guy who wants a normal life. What's wrong with wanting a girl? Life is not worth living without a partner to make me happy. I have no experience with girls, but hope to have it soon. Hopefully with this lady friend. I'm going to invite her to more hang-outs, and hope I can somehow sneak in a kiss somewhere. Maybe I should use some alcohol? I hear it loosens up women, and makes them more relaxed to kiss you.

 

I also hope to see her in a bikini, or at least, take off her jacket. She never does, even in this heat. I think there's something wrong with her, guys. I know it's not me. I think she has like... intimacy issues or something. I know I don't. Coz if she didn't have these intimacy issues, we would probably be boyfriend girlfriend right now.

 

Do you think I should send her a card that confesses my feelings to her?

 

 

Sadly, that's SD's M.O.

He ignores any useful advice, sticks to his guns (which don't fire properly) and it's like you're talking to a wall.

 

it is VERY One Goal-like.

[somedude81]

If it's not a FWB or ONS situation then couples usually get to know each other a bit more before kissing.

 

If she's really not the touch feely type, why are you wanting to be with her?

Because I really like her personality. We get along very well. We have many common interests. And I'm really attracted to her.

 

Also I just feel better when I'm around girls. Right now she's my pretend girlfriend. Out of all the girls I've spent time with, she's the one I that I clicked the best with. She's the one girl that I can imagine being in a serious relationship with and introducing her to my family.

You need an affectionate woman with a sexual appetite. Are you prepared to put the time in it might take for her to change if she has sexual hang ups, and put your own needs to one side? If she goes for therapy for sexual problems it could take years. If you're interested in her as she's your only option then that's the wrong reason to pursue her

I have thought about it. If we actually do start dating, would she have any sexual hangups. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. There really is no way to know until we've gotten to that point. If she does end up having issues with sex, it could be very detrimental. I don't know what I'd do. All I can really do is hope for the best.

 

I had a lot of fun with her today. No I didn't make a move. There were certain things from her body language where I could tell she didn't want me to get too close on certain occasions. She never reacted badly when I touched her and I even put my arm around her and held her close when we were crossing the rock jetty with people walking by. She even thanked me for helping her keep her balance. I touched her a lot, basically all over her safe areas with no sign of displeasure from her. But, as soon as she gets out of my car she starts walking slowly to the the door and I know she doesn't even want to give me a chance to hug her.

 

If she just gave in, things would be so much easier. But that's probably never going to happen. It really sucks to find somebody who is right in so many areas but bad in that.

 

Of course I'm going to keep my eyes open for other girls because I need more in my life.

 

BTW I met both her parents today. I was a little worried about meeting her dad but he was nice and seems cool. I don't know if they know that I want to date her. It probably doesn't matter. Heh, I just had a funny thought about her Mom telling her that she should date that nice boy. And she does the whiny "But mom."

 

Do mothers ever try to get their daughters to date? She is almost 22.

 

Well you haven't sent me a PM about those mp3's.

 

What's the harm in giving them a try? You don't need to actually do anything with most of them, you just lie there with your eyes shut.

Woah, I totally forgot.

 

Do you have them saved on your computer or a link to them?

 

Send me a PM if I don't send you one today. I need to take a nap. Today was busy.

[Teknoe]

Today was busy.

 

 

So, how was the beach meet-up with the girl? It was Saturday, right?

 

Recommended viewing: Take Me Home Tonight.

 

Just came out on DVD. About a guy who is too scared to make a move on his crush. Also scared to do ANYTHING in life. He works at Suncoast Video, it's a film set in the late '80s. His dad told him,

 

"Just take a shot, son."

 

"I don't know where to aim."

 

"Anywhere. Everywhere. Just shoot. If nothing else to hear the gun go off."

 

"Sorry dad that I'm a failure in life."

 

"No, you're not a failure. You're worst than that. You're someone who never tried to succeed."

 

Good movie, and I think it can really speak to you. If our advice of going out, talking to strangers is scary, surely renting a DVD is doable.

 

Watch it. It might really speak to you.

[somedude81]

somedude,

 

I was hoping you would have but, I am not surprised that you didn't "make a move". You didn't make a move not because you are too shy, too inexperienced with women or because you don't know how to.

 

You do know what to do, they are your instincts that are given to you through thousands of years of evolution.

We are an interesting pair. A girl who has no interest in sex, and a guy who doesn't really know how to make a move.

 

I don't have any instincts telling me what to do. If I did, they were put down by my life experiences. I've never had any positive reinforcement from women so it's only natural that I don't have a clue what to do.

 

Though I do have basic ideas of how to start that I'm working on. But yeah, I'm scared.

 

The whole time we have been telling you she isn't interested in you and you refuse to accept it, holding out some small hope that she might be. If you had made a move, you would have definitively gotten an answer (either yes or no) as to whether she considers you BF material.

 

However by, not making a move you didn't get a definitive "no" from her and thus you can continue to hold on to hope that she might come around.

 

So like I said before you have complete control of your situation. At any time you can chose to be happier by dropping this girl and start making changes.

The thing is, when it comes to women, I automatically think they will reject me. I would be afraid to make a move on a girl in any situation, I'd only try something if she actually told me to. In all other situations I'd expect her to say no.

 

A couple of years ago I had a female friend that I hung out pretty regularly with, not unlike this girl. One of my roommates was throwing a party and both of us were pretty drunk. Even though I had enough where I had trouble walking, I was still too scared to try and kiss this girl. I probably could have had sex with her that night but I didn't try anything.

 

When I expect a girl to say no, it's hard for me to try. And of course, I expect this girl to say no. I have no reason to believe that any girl will ever say yes.

 

School is starting pretty soon and I expect that we'll be spending more time together now that she'll be back in town.

 

Something will happen this semester. I don't know if it will be good or bad, but something will happen.

[PelicanPete]

Has SD81 made any progress yet? Or is this still multiple pages of guff.

[betterdeal]

Just shooting the breeze.

[PelicanPete]

SD can you please just man up. I'd do it for you if it were possible, because honestly all this thread shows is that you're a sniffling coward. You're not going to get anything from this female or any females if you continue with this whole hopeless/pathetic routine. You could look like friggin He-man but this whole pessimistic attitude just makes you very unattractive.

 

Stop blaming your height, how you were raised, the girls libido, or whatever else you can come up with that is inhibiting you from growing a pair. Stop "accepting" that you're a loser and do something. Anything! Only way you're going to gain confidence is if you start trekking through unfamiliar ground.

 

If you're enjoying your life and like who you are then feel free to play it safe and stay this way. All these people are trying to help you take the next step in the best way they know how, but you're just wasting every ones time with all the excuses and the victim charade. Stop seeking pity and start working for respect. You can talk the talk, but until you start walking the walk you don't deserve anything.

[betterdeal]

He'll get there, when he's ready, I'm sure.

[somedude81]

SD can you please just man up. I'd do it for you if it were possible, because honestly all this thread shows is that you're a sniffling coward.

Uh, if you haven't realized; I'm struggling with long term depression and have suicidal thoughts. Calling me a coward and to "man up" aren't exactly the best things to say.

 

And no, I'm not pessimistic when I'm interacting with people in real life.

 

I come here to vent. It's the only place I can do it.

 

Stop blaming your height, how you were raised, the girls libido

So are you denying that those three have never affected me?

 

If just one were crossed off, I most likely would have gotten some already.

Edited August 22, 2011 by somedude81

[betterdeal]

I've made passes at maybe a dozen women and would say 8 of those reciprocated. The key factor, in my experience, is how I felt at that time. If I felt great, it worked. If I was feeling down, it didn't. Some times they initially said they "couldn't" (note, that's not an all out "no") and then 5 minutes later were all over me.

 

A friend of mine used to teach dating courses. The one tip he gave me was to make the loudest animal noise you can before going into a place where you're on the pull. It works by helping you to loosen up and get in touch with the inner animal in you. You can adapt that into taken a deep breath then a fast, strong out breath. We do that in yoga and it loosens me up really well. Breath in clean air, push out dirty air. That can be done before you meet a girl and have decided that tonight, this night, you're going to take a chance...

 

I do think you're projecting on her too much, and not empathising with her much, but it's hard to tell based solely on what you say here. You'll find your own way, I'm sure.

Edited August 22, 2011 by betterdeal

[Ross MwcFan]

SD can you please just man up. I'd do it for you if it were possible, because honestly all this thread shows is that you're a sniffling coward. You're not going to get anything from this female or any females if you continue with this whole hopeless/pathetic routine. You could look like friggin He-man but this whole pessimistic attitude just makes you very unattractive.

 

Stop blaming your height, how you were raised, the girls libido, or whatever else you can come up with that is inhibiting you from growing a pair. Stop "accepting" that you're a loser and do something. Anything! Only way you're going to gain confidence is if you start trekking through unfamiliar ground.

 

If you're enjoying your life and like who you are then feel free to play it safe and stay this way. All these people are trying to help you take the next step in the best way they know how, but you're just wasting every ones time with all the excuses and the victim charade. Stop seeking pity and start working for respect. You can talk the talk, but until you start walking the walk you don't deserve anything.

 

How does a guy do this?

[PelicanPete]

How does a guy do this?

 

A guy can only grow a pair by believing he has a pair in the first place.

[somedude81]

I've made passes at maybe a dozen women and would say 8 of those reciprocated. The key factor, in my experience, is how I felt at that time. If I felt great, it worked. If I was feeling down, it didn't. Some times they initially said they "couldn't" (note, that's not an all out "no") and then 5 minutes later were all over me.

What do you mean by passes?

 

A friend of mine used to teach dating courses. The one tip he gave me was to make the loudest animal noise you can before going into a place where you're on the pull. It works by helping you to loosen up and get in touch with the inner animal in you. You can adapt that into taken a deep breath then a fast, strong out breath. We do that in yoga and it loosens me up really well. Breath in clean air, push out dirty air. That can be done before you meet a girl and have decided that tonight, this night, you're going to take a chance...

Yeah, I've heard of the making a noise thing. The PU term is getting into state. So you feel good and confident.

 

 

I do think you're projecting on her too much, and not empathising with her much, but it's hard to tell based solely on what you say here. You'll find your own way, I'm sure.

Can you explain more about projecting on her and not empathizing.

[betterdeal]

What do you mean by passes?

 

Tell me what you think that means. I'm not being confrontational. I'm interested in what you imagine a pass is.

 

Yeah, I've heard of the making a noise thing. The PU term is getting into state. So you feel good and confident.

 

It works. Lots of the guys who went on his course are now happily married. Typically, they were good boys, did their exams, good steady, well paid jobs, but missed out on dating and messing around with girls. It gave them the confidence boost and ability to display their feathers to meet a girl, woo her, make a pass, and, best of all, since they had done the legwork in getting a good job, developing their cerebral aspect &c. to maintain a long term relationship.

 

Can you explain more about projecting on her and not empathizing.

 

From what you write, you don't take much responsibility for the status quo. For instance, you describe her as not being interested in sex. You also say you won't stop until she tells you to.

 

But you haven't had sex in the time you've known her, have you? So does that mean you're not interested in sex? What makes her not interested but you interested? Could it be that she might actually want to have sex with you, and that's why she hasn't had sex lately, but something needs to change for that to happen?

 

You won't stop until she says no. Could it be she's waiting for something to change, to happen, before she says yes?

 

Could it be you're actually the one saying "not now" to her, the one who isn't ready for sex with her? That the change has to come from you?

 

I don't mean to presume to be right about any of that, but I do wonder if you have ever considered it from that sort of angle? A case of not "what can my country do for me?" but rather "what can I do from my country?" sort of thing?

[somedude81]

Tell me what you think that means. I'm not being confrontational. I'm interested in what you imagine a pass is.

I've never actually heard the phrase "making a pass" before. It's just not used where I'm from.

 

At first I thought it meant something like asking out girls but now I see that it's the same thing as "making a move." Now does that include sex or was it just kissing?

 

It works. Lots of the guys who went on his course are now happily married. Typically, they were good boys, did their exams, good steady, well paid jobs, but missed out on dating and messing around with girls. It gave them the confidence boost and ability to display their feathers to meet a girl, woo her, make a pass, and, best of all, since they had done the legwork in getting a good job, developing their cerebral aspect &c. to maintain a long term relationship.

Several years ago I actually took a PU bootcamp. Cost me $2,000. It just didn't work for me.

 

The main focus turned out be picking up women in bars and that wasn't what I wanted to do.

 

From what you write, you don't take much responsibility for the status quo. For instance, you describe her as not being interested in sex. You also say you won't stop until she tells you to.

 

But you haven't had sex in the time you've known her, have you? So does that mean you're not interested in sex? What makes her not interested but you interested? Could it be that she might actually want to have sex with you, and that's why she hasn't had sex lately, but something needs to change for that to happen?

I didn't have sex in these past couple of years because I haven't found somebody willing to do it with me. An attractive young woman does not go through that.

 

It would be great if she wanted to have sex with me. Too bad we just can't talk about it. If I could suggest that we have sex and there is a chance that she'd say yes, I would do it.

 

What would need to change for sex to happen?

 

You won't stop until she says no. Could it be she's waiting for something to change, to happen, before she says yes?

 

Could it be you're actually the one saying "not now" to her, the one who isn't ready for sex with her? That the change has to come from you?

 

I don't mean to presume to be right about any of that, but I do wonder if you have ever considered it from that sort of angle? A case of not "what can my country do for me?" but rather "what can I do from my country?" sort of thing?

She already knows that I want a relationship with her. I push further each time we are together but ultimately she is the one who stops things.

 

Right now I'm wondering if we should actually talk about the physical things. I really want to find out why she is so against hugging when I can put my arm around her without issue.

 

A big fear I have is ruining the moment. It's so much easier to just sit with her in peace and risk getting her pissed off at me and then having to take her home. It's no fun having an angry girl in my car.

[betterdeal]

I've never actually heard the phrase "making a pass" before. It's just not used where I'm from.

 

At first I thought it meant something like asking out girls but now I see that it's the same thing as "making a move." Now does that include sex or was it just kissing?

 

Isn't that, essentially, the question I asked you?

 

Several years ago I actually took a PU bootcamp. Cost me $2,000. It just didn't work for me. The main focus turned out be picking up women in bars and that wasn't what I wanted to do.

 

That's a shame.

 

I didn't have sex in these past couple of years because I haven't found somebody willing to do it with me. An attractive young woman does not go through that.

 

Pretty young women don't go through periods of no sex when they'd like some because there's always a man who'd be willing to have sex with them. That's your argument? You don't think they might perhaps have standards or issues too? Not meeting someone they want to have sex with, for instance? Or meeting someone they'd like to, but there's something holding them back?

 

It would be great if she wanted to have sex with me. Too bad we just can't talk about it. If I could suggest that we have sex and there is a chance that she'd say yes, I would do it.

 

Sorry, I'm confused now: you're saying there's no chance of you two having sex or there's no chance of you talking about it? Which matters more?

 

What would need to change for sex to happen?

 

I don't know. You seem to be saying there's no chance of it happening or even of you two talking about sex, so the answer is nothing. Nothing can change because it will never happen or be spoken about.

 

She already knows that I want a relationship with her. I push further each time we are together but ultimately she is the one who stops things.

 

Ever heard the saying, "I can be led but I won't be pushed?"

 

Right now I'm wondering if we should actually talk about the physical things. I really want to find out why she is so against hugging when I can put my arm around her without issue.

 

If you like, do have that talk.

 

A big fear I have is ruining the moment.

 

So you'd rather avoid the moment altogether?

 

It's so much easier to just sit with her in peace and risk getting her pissed off at me and then having to take her home. It's no fun having an angry girl in my car.

 

It sounds like you have what you want. Sex isn't going to happen, you won't talk about it and you'd rather be sat in peace with her than her be angry in your car. What seems to be the problem then?

[somedude81]

betterdeal, you're making me run around in circles.

 

The point I'm trying to get across is that I don't know what I'm doing or what I should do. I'm afraid that if I do what I think of, I'll just screw things up.

 

I post here asking for advice because I don't trust my judgement.

 

But the only advice I've gotten on this girl has been, "move on" and "kiss her." That is just two different extremes. Is there any middle ground?

[betterdeal]

betterdeal, you're making me run around in circles.

 

I'm sorry you feel that way. I was trying to find out what you imagine something to be, not to make you feel like you're running around in circles. That's why I asked and refused to answer my own question for you. You don't want to tell me what you imagine these things happen, feel, what goes on your head, might be like. That's okay. Just say so.

 

The point I'm trying to get across is that I don't know what I'm doing or what I should do. I'm afraid that if I do what I think of, I'll just screw things up.

 

What do you think you'll do? Gimme details.

 

I post here asking for advice because I don't trust my judgement.

 

Sure. I understand that. The point is, no-one here has been able to say "do A then B then C and there you go", and you say, "thanks, I'll do that", have we? I posted a link to a video about making a first move. What did you think about that?

 

But the only advice I've gotten on this girl has been, "move on" and "kiss her." That is just two different extremes. Is there any middle ground?

 

There's myriad possibilities. None of them involve any of us doing it for you. What do you want to do?

[PelicanPete]

Uh, if you haven't realized; I'm struggling with long term depression and have suicidal thoughts. Calling me a coward and to "man up" aren't exactly the best things to say.

 

Uh, all you just did was prove my point. You're expecting me to tippy toe around you because you're pretty much threatening that you're a loose cannon? Please

 

All this shows is that you're adding yet another excuse to the pile for who you are and what you're doing.

 

So are you denying that those three have never affected me?

 

If just one were crossed off, I most likely would have gotten some already.

 

Yeah I am denying it. A pretty and petite female co-worker is currently crushing on a buddy of mine that's 5'7 with cystic acne on his face wanting to have me play cupid and try to set them up. I asked her what she finds most attractive about him, and she told me this:

 

1. Confidence

2. Sense of responsibility

3. Overall maturity

4. Optimism

5. Leadership

6. His empathy and understanding

7. Big heart

 

Sure he's not tall dark and handsome, but obviously he doesn't have to be. It's in your head, and it's all your own crutch. It eases the stress off yourself to blame everything else and make all these excuses for who you are, but by doing that you're never going to get anywhere.

 

Come on now, stop spinning everyone in circles and start doing a better effort in becoming who you want to be. Prove to everyone and yourself that you aren't a coward, OG. Then you will no longer need this plethora of excuses to hide behind.

[Ross MwcFan]

A guy can only grow a pair by believing he has a pair in the first place.

 

If you don't have a pair, and you know you don't. How do you make yourself believe that you do?

[PelicanPete]

If you don't have a pair, and you know you don't. How do you make yourself believe that you do?

 

It's a case of believing, one day, you can grow a pair . That is essentially how these types of things come to be. Believing that it is possible is essentially planting the seed. The more you nourish that belief, the more it will grow, and over time it will become a reality. Acting like you have a pair, even when you don't, will cause you to grow one soon enough.

[somedude81]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I was trying to find out what you imagine something to be, not to make you feel like you're running around in circles. That's why I asked and refused to answer my own question for you. You don't want to tell me what you imagine these things happen, feel, what goes on your head, might be like. That's okay. Just say so.

You said that you made passes at about a dozen women and about 8 reciprocated. Did you have sex with those women or at least kiss them?

 

How did you know it was the right time?

 

Sure. I understand that. The point is, no-one here has been able to say "do A then B then C and there you go", and you say, "thanks, I'll do that", have we? I posted a link to a video about making a first move. What did you think about that?

The clip gave me some ideas. It seems that prolonged physical contact is a great way to first test the waters.

 

So when we're talking I can leave my hand on her leg and see how she reacts. Same for her arms and shoulders.

 

I also didn't know about leaning in half way, making it obvious that I want to kiss her, let her make a move in or out, then I go for the final move.

 

The things that seem really basic to most people are stuff that I just haven't thought of.

 

I'm also pretty bad at reading women.

 

Yeah I am denying it. A pretty and petite female co-worker is currently crushing on a buddy of mine that's 5'7 with cystic acne on his face wanting to have me play cupid and try to set them up. I asked her what she finds most attractive about him, and she told me this:

 

1. Confidence

2. Sense of responsibility

3. Overall maturity

4. Optimism

5. Leadership

6. His empathy and understanding

7. Big heart

The number one thing on that list is confidence. And as I was saying earlier; because of what happened to me in my childhood and how girls treated me, I never developed any confidence. Then that ties into me not learning how to really talk to girls so I don't have any "game."

 

Game can make up for looks and vise versa. But miss both, and one doesn't have a chance.