Author somedude81 Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 The problem D-Lish is that for every 1 woman who doesn't care about height, there are about 4 who do. So all I can do is hope I meet a woman that doesn't care and is also compatible with me. That does substantially limit my numbers. Which explains why that at 30, I still haven't had a girlfriend. Still, I believe the most important thing is knowing how to attract a woman with my words and actions. If I can figure out, even the woman who care about height, should be ok with me. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 The problem D-Lish is that for every 1 woman who doesn't care about height, there are about 4 who do. So all I can do is hope I meet a woman that doesn't care and is also compatible with me. That does substantially limit my numbers. Which explains why that at 30, I still haven't had a girlfriend. Don't focus on the 1 in 4, believe in yourself. I've dated so many shorter men than myself because they rock in the personality department. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Alright, my input about this is obviously useless then. Peace out. It's not useless. But just like not all women like bad boys (or DO they?!), not all women will be okay with a short man. What you're describing is something that is atypical, or at least something that goes against the norm. Most women care about height, or at least make it a factor in their decision on whether they should continue on. You're not necessarily wrong, and neither is the OP necessarily right. Both of you are right, and both of you are wrong. Just in different ways. Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 I think height is hugely important to women,just look at online datign or these sites where 90% of the women say they wont date men under a certain height ,yes d lish "some" women dont care about height but most do Its hard enough to find someone comaptible and thats attracted to you when your an average loooking at best dude whos shy but with the height thing added in it makes it even harder.,and some of us arent wilign to get humilliated rejected by hundreds of women to finally get one yes Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Flirting is not all about how you talk or the exact words you use but also how you feel when you are flirting. If you feel at ease, sure of yourself, confident, and strong the woman can sense it and that causes her to feel attracted to you. When a women feels that attraction to you, things like being short will fade into the background. I dont buy any of this tony robbins bs or that women magically feel whats inside of you, i know plenty of insecure paranoid dudes who get women because theyre good looking Someobdy is either atttracted to you or not cant magically make someone attracted to you, but i guess it helps sell books Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Well, chemistry is definitely built on more than just good looks. But good looks definitely improve your chances. Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 SD, Do you still believe your negative attitude has NOTHING to do with the fact girls aren't more intimate with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 16, 2011 Author Share Posted September 16, 2011 Unless they are psychic, no. My attitude, which I'm only negative when I'm by myself, has little affect on why girls aren't intimate with me. You must be assuming that I'm emo, always saying bad things about myself out-loud or walking hunched over staring at the ground. I'm not like that at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 I dont buy any of this tony robbins bs or that women magically feel whats inside of you, i know plenty of insecure paranoid dudes who get women because theyre good looking Someobdy is either atttracted to you or not cant magically make someone attracted to you, but i guess it helps sell books I'm not selling any books. In the past I was not able to attract a single women to me. I was alone for a long time. For years I read articles and even thread posts about attraction, very similar to the ones I post now, with an open mind. I started putting myself out there more in the world and facing my fears. I started focus on becoming a more strong confident man. Like the older men I looked up to when I was young. I faced rejection with women in the face and did not let it bring me down. I wasn't goingto let anything beat me. After a while I started to notice something. The more confident I became. The more women responded positively to my presence. It is now to the point were I can easily attract women. What changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Badsingularity Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Unless they are psychic, no. My attitude, which I'm only negative when I'm by myself, has little affect on why girls aren't intimate with me. You must be assuming that I'm emo, always saying bad things about myself out-loud or walking hunched over staring at the ground. I'm not like that at all. Women can sence fear in a man. They can sence negativity and hesitation. Whether you want to believe they are psychic or that they have magic power or that they can read tiny variations in your body language and eye movement. I'm telling you that they can sence things. That's why it's so important to try and work on yourself and become a stronger man. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 That makes a lot of sense. When I am flirting with women, I don't think I'm sure of myself, confident and strong. And that is because I've had so much failure with women. How can I be sure of myself when I've never done it right? Knowing what to say also matters. And I lack in that area as well. Most of my conversations with women are very casual and shallow. There's also been a couple of times where innuendo was possible but I just blew it. My first thoughts are almost always too innocent. Being sure of yourself is about feeling good about yourself, not about feeling that you'd win the World Flirting Championships. It's not so much about confidence in your skill, it's confidence in you, and part of that is confidence in your ability to develop a skill. Flirting can be done by numbers - you can watch films, TV and real life and pay attention to the guys that get attention from women and start to understand what makes them attractive to women. That can help, certainly. The very fact that you're learning by observing is testament to your ability to develop a skill. Flirting is about showing interest. It can be done in millions of different ways. What is it you like about the woman you're interested in? It will differ from woman to woman. There's nothing more attractive than someone finding you attractive. If you make it clear you find someone attractive, you've started the flirting. If you haven't had much success so far, that's kind of liberating in a way. You can say or do anything (okay, within reason) and it's not going to ruin your average, is it? Your skill is not going to get worse, is it, if you, say, try out a cheesy chat up line or develop a mind like a sewer and find innuendos in everything they say. Imagine her naked whilst you're talking to her. It can make it more fun. So you're able to do just about anything and you'll lose nothing. So another woman turns you down? Who cares? You don't, right? Why would you? If she's hung up on height, it's good to eliminate her from your enquiries. Next! It's supposed to be fun. That's why we chase girls, right? Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Women can sence fear in a man. They can sence negativity and hesitation. Whether you want to believe they are psychic or that they have magic power or that they can read tiny variations in your body language and eye movement. I'm telling you that they can sence things. That's why it's so important to try and work on yourself and become a stronger man. If you can bounce back and see the funny side, it's pretty apparent. If you slip on a banana skin and you laugh it off instead of calling a lawyer, you're more likely to be making the most of life, and more enjoyable to be around. Add to that seriousness about your core principles and being genuine and facing the music even when things aren't so funny, and you have a likeable personality. Why? Because it's dependable and flexible. Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 If you can bounce back and see the funny side, it's pretty apparent. If you slip on a banana skin and you laugh it off instead of calling a lawyer, you're more likely to be making the most of life, and more enjoyable to be around. Well said there. SD, in my opinion just go to some random bar and just be a big flirt. Who cares if they aren't exactly your cup of tea, just get in there and put yourself out there. Flirting is about having fun, just talk and get to know people. The reason you haven't had a girlfriend yet is because you've always played it safe. No risk no reward. If you get some phone numbers, you can frame 'em. If you get rejected, write it off and don't take it personal. What do those broads know anyway? You've got so many people backing you up even if you crash and burn, we just want you to do something, anything, because you're at least making some sort of progress that way. Look at all these people wanting you to succeed. How 'bout you take the plunge and follow through with some big decision before page 30 eh? You gotta be running low on excuses here, I know a lot of us are runnin' low on patience. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Seems like you should have learned by now that you should cut this girl loose. If she makes you feel this way, perhaps it's better to have respect for yourself and cut her loose? Of course, I expect this advice to be disregarded, so whatever. Carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 You've got so many people backing you up even if you crash and burn, we just want you to do something, anything, because you're at least making some sort of progress that way. Look at all these people wanting you to succeed. How 'bout you take the plunge and follow through with some big decision before page 30 eh? Yes. YES. Somedude, please, just do something. Anything. I don't care what it is, but just do something. The worst thing you can do is vent on LoveShack and not do much in real life. Please, just get yourself out there and try different things. Go to a bar and just talk with random girls. Go to the mall and chat it up with some female clerks (they're suppose to be nice anyway it's part of their job). JUST DO SOMETHING. Before page 30 would be lovely. Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Unless they are psychic, no. Well, we don't know you in real life so we can't say for sure, but you did write this a few pages back I'm also very poor at actually reading women. Which tells me you could be THINKING that you're not showing/conveying any negative body language, but how would you know what ladies think if you yourself claim you can't read them?? This would all be so much easier if we could all go to a local bar together (Pete, me, Tman66, you, HardDays, Betterdeal, Badsingularity, etc.) and we could see you "in action" and give you direct, live feedback. I recall in another thread I once asked you "Be honest, what do you have currently to offer to a woman? Are you ready right now for a HEALTHY boyfriend-girlfriend relationship?" You answered "DAMN RIGHT I AM READY. I have plenty to offer to the opposite sex right now." All of this makes me think... just a hypothesis... that there is some ignorance and/or major denial going on here with you. You whine about "your supposed shortcomings" a majority of the time (which is very unhealthy) -- and then claim you'd make a great catch for some girl right now. Which one is it? Are you a great catch? Or are you what you believe below? I've already covered the reasons way women aren't into me thousand times. I'm short, not physically attractive, and I don't know how to talk to women in a way that excites them. Which one is it? Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Unless they are psychic, no. My attitude, which I'm only negative when I'm by myself, has little affect on why girls aren't intimate with me. You must be assuming that I'm emo, always saying bad things about myself out-loud or walking hunched over staring at the ground. I'm not like that at all. Oh, BELIEVE ME, women know how you are. Women have survived all these millenia, being the 'weaker' sex, by observing. A man would be lucky to remember if you were wearing a dress or pants. Women can tell you if your hair was greasy, if your fingers are yellow from cigarette smoking, if you ironed your shirt, if your eyes are shifty, if you can't answer a direct question, and probably even if you're a Democrat or a Republican, in less than a couple minutes. Dude, the only thing that's gonna help you get what you want is if YOU get help and learn to like yourself. Period. Here's what women like: confident men with a sense of humor. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 (edited) Watch from about 7m 30s in Edited September 16, 2011 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Anyone see those max tall commercials? the 2 inch lifts for men? Its not our imagination how important height is Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Anyone see those max tall commercials? the 2 inch lifts for men? Its not our imagination how important height is Is height important? Sure. Is it more important than being confident, charming, humorous, reliable, trustworthy, etc.? NO. Quit playing the height card. Yes it's important, but it's not THAT important. Look, Somedude is 5'6" (which is not unreasonable) and he CANNOT change that. yes he can wear lifts but it's better to just love yourself for yourself. I don't buy this height garbage, sorry. It's just another excuse guys use. Confidence and having drive in life and a sense of humor (and identity) is much more attractive to a woman than you being 6'1" Link to post Share on other sites
Silvermane Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Is height important? Sure. Is it more important than being confident, charming, humorous, reliable, trustworthy, etc.? NO. Quit playing the height card. Yes it's important, but it's not THAT important. Look, Somedude is 5'6" (which is not unreasonable) and he CANNOT change that. yes he can wear lifts but it's better to just love yourself for yourself. I don't buy this height garbage, sorry. It's just another excuse guys use. Confidence and having drive in life and a sense of humor (and identity) is much more attractive to a woman than you being 6'1" 100% correct. Focus on things you can change. Being 5'6 isn't bad at all. It might eliminate some girls as options, but so what? Do you love any of these tall, superficial girls? No, you don't, you'll love the 5'6 girl who doesn't care about your height. Do you even want to date a tall girl? I'm 5'8 and have no interest in dating a girl taller than me. If it naturally happened, sure why not, but you can't let stuff like that bother you. There is enough **** in life that you can control to worry about. Link to post Share on other sites
Teknoe Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 100% correct. Focus on things you can change. Being 5'6 isn't bad at all. It might eliminate some girls as options, but so what? Do you love any of these tall, superficial girls? No, you don't, you'll love the 5'6 girl who doesn't care about your height. Do you even want to date a tall girl? I'm 5'8 and have no interest in dating a girl taller than me. If it naturally happened, sure why not, but you can't let stuff like that bother you. There is enough **** in life that you can control to worry about. +100 Quit focusing on things you can't change and have no control over. Lose the victim mentality and approach life with new lens -- you might surprise yourself at how much better life is when you don't care about your own height. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=297949 Wow, if guys who have severe social anxiety can still get women interested in them without being aggressive, there must be something about me that is completely repulsive. Link to post Share on other sites
PelicanPete Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=297949 Wow, if guys who have severe social anxiety can still get women interested in them without being aggressive, there must be something about me that is completely repulsive. I find it funny how people in this thread are trying to support you and show you that you can be a great guy, but instead you ignore all that and choose to prowl through the insecure dating forums looking for ways to make yourself feel inadequate. Perhaps that's what is so unattractive about you, your self fulfilling prophecy of how "repulsive" you are. You're too afraid to be anything more than a nobody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author somedude81 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Share Posted September 17, 2011 No, it's because I have no social anxiety issues at all and it makes zero sense to me that somebody who does can still get women. Link to post Share on other sites
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