I feel like crap

[somedude81]

OK, fine. How am I a stalker?

 

Just so you know, we go to the same school, which started on Monday, and I haven't seen her since the 20th.

 

You want X badly. X being a girlfriend

 

But X isn't possible without doing Y first (self-improvement in various forms, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually)

 

We give you 100s of Y suggestions

 

You shoot them down 1 by 1. Or you say Maybe but we don't see you making a real effort to do it.

 

You complain some more about your luck/lot in life, blaming it on God and bad family genes, and go back to proclaiming X (If I can't have a GF, life is not worth living)

 

If you want X, you need to take care of Y.

 

But you refuse to take care of Y first.

That's I haven't heard a good Y that I can accept.

 

I believe that I'm completely ready for a relationship and the only reason I don't have a GF is because something is making sure it doesn't happen.

 

Also I'm teased a lot by fate and given a lot of false leads. Heck, it's only the second day in class and a girl just gave me her number. I was just being sociable with her and then she wants to exchange numbers. Odds are if I try to take it anywhere beyond school related she'll freak out.

 

There are other girls that I know but I don't want to get into more friendzone situations. I'm tired of that crap.

[tman666]

WHY WON'T SHE PUT THE LOTION ON???!???

 

Jesus.

 

LOLOLOLOLOL

 

Somedude, I know I was harsh at you a few days ago, but you have to understand how ****ing frustrating you are to the people who would like to help you. From our perspective it seems like the advice that's given to you is ignored or shot down. Anyone, no matter how patient, would get tired of that after a while.

 

You're not a lost cause in and of yourself. With your current self perception and worldview, you might be. But I truly believe that you are not yourself (which sounds sort of funny coming from a stranger on the internet who doesn't know you, but nevertheless...). At least try some things that people are telling you. You might be surprised at what you're capable of when you make a conscious effort to change yourself rather than fruitlessly trying to control things that cannot be controlled by you.

[somedude81]

I pity the poor girl whose self-esteem is low enough to end up in a relationship with this guy a he is now. She'll be suicidal by the end.

Why do you say that?

 

And he'll be angry. Because the fairy tale strategy didn't work out and his life still sucks and it must be her fault because she was supposed to be perfect and everything would change and why is she so f*cking miserable, the selfish bitch, and WHY WON'T SHE PUT THE LOTION ON???!???

 

Jesus.

I don't get it.

LOLOLOLOLOL

 

Somedude, I know I was harsh at you a few days ago, but you have to understand how ****ing frustrating you are to the people who would like to help you. From our perspective it seems like the advice that's given to you is ignored or shot down. Anyone, no matter how patient, would get tired of that after a while.

My issue with the advice is that it's the same stuff I've heard over and over again.

 

Work on your confidence, make friends, go to activity night, go to therapy, forget about her.

 

Thank you, those have been noted.

 

BTW, nobody is more frustrated than I am.

You're not a lost cause in and of yourself. With your current self perception and worldview, you might be. But I truly believe that you are not yourself (which sounds sort of funny coming from a stranger on the internet who doesn't know you, but nevertheless...). At least try some things that people are telling you. You might be surprised at what you're capable of when you make a conscious effort to change yourself rather than fruitlessly trying to control things that cannot be controlled by you.

No I'm not myself.

 

I am nowhere this negative. I actually am a happy, laid back guy. But things haven't turned out the way they should have and I have a cloud of anger, depression and bitterness weighing me down.

[Teknoe]

Work on your confidence, make friends, go to activity night, go to therapy, forget about her.

 

Thank you, those have been noted.

 

 

That's your problem. You're prideful. You are stubborn. And you have noted these things, but you won't do them. Noting them does crap. Doing them just might. SO DO 'EM!

 

You really are making it harder than it is.

 

As for the stalker thing, I'm not talking about you being a stalker exactly. It's moreso the lame "LOL, no" attitude. DENIAL. Like all our suggestions. You just basically say LOL NO to it.

 

Guess what, nothing ventured nothing gained.

 

Without struggle there is no progress.

 

Please see my new thread on how I managed my obsession of having a GF. Feel free to post in it, too.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3600363

[tman666]

My issue with the advice is that it's the same stuff I've heard over and over again.

 

Work on your confidence, make friends, go to activity night, go to therapy, forget about her.

 

Here's the thing though... The advice will always be the same because it's what you actually need to do. It's tried and true stuff that a lot of us, including myself, have experienced positive results with firsthand. When you have a bunch of random strangers on the internet (who do not know each other in real life) telling you essentially the same thing, doesn't it strike you as sort of arrogant to think that they're all wrong? If this were the case, wouldn't you simply dismiss us all as a bunch of idiots and not come back?

 

I agree with you that "work on your confidence" is a lame answer. I believe that confidence is gained through accomplishments, i.e. it can be built MANY different ways. When people say that you need to branch out, make new friends, find new activities, learn new skills, etc. it's NOT to divert you away from your goal of having someone to love, but rather to help you build traits that will not only improve your quality of life, but make you more desirable to a woman.

 

I also think that the type of confidence you need is not the balls to go up to a girl and talk to her/ask her out/etc., it's the confidence to be your own person. THAT's what a girl is going to see and be attracted to, not your smooth words, your clothes, your approach, your timing, or all that other BS that some people think "confidence" entails.

 

A woman does not want a broken man, nor does she want to be responsible for making someone else whole or happy. You are constantly saying that getting a girlfriend will make you happy and solve your issues, but what you don't realize is that you're going about it all the wrong way. You're trying to ride the bike backwards, so to speak.

 

Success is a habit. Great successes are often the sum of many small successes. You've got your eye on the ball, but you're disregarding the steps you need to take to hit it out of the park.

[Teknoe]

Here's the thing though... The advice will always be the same because it's what you actually need to do. It's tried and true stuff that a lot of us, including myself, have experienced positive results with firsthand. When you have a bunch of random strangers on the internet (who do not know each other in real life) telling you essentially the same thing, doesn't it strike you as sort of arrogant to think that they're all wrong? If this were the case, wouldn't you simply dismiss us all as a bunch of idiots and not come back?

 

I agree with you that "work on your confidence" is a lame answer. I believe that confidence is gained through accomplishments, i.e. it can be built MANY different ways. When people say that you need to branch out, make new friends, find new activities, learn new skills, etc. it's NOT to divert you away from your goal of having someone to love, but rather to help you build traits that will not only improve your quality of life, but make you more desirable to a woman.

 

I also think that the type of confidence you need is not the balls to go up to a girl and talk to her/ask her out/etc., it's the confidence to be your own person. THAT's what a girl is going to see and be attracted to, not your smooth words, your clothes, your approach, your timing, or all that other BS that some people think "confidence" entails.

 

A woman does not want a broken man, nor does she want to be responsible for making someone else whole or happy. You are constantly saying that getting a girlfriend will make you happy and solve your issues, but what you don't realize is that you're going about it all the wrong way. You're trying to ride the bike backwards, so to speak.

 

Success is a habit. Great successes are often the sum of many small successes. You've got your eye on the ball, but you're disregarding the steps you need to take to hit it out of the park.

 

 

+1,000!

 

Best post in this entire thread.

 

SD81, listen to the words above. It's true, and it's wise. Read it over and over until it sinks deep into your heart, your soul, your spirit. It's basically everything all of us have been trying to get you to understand and grasp!

[HeavenOrHell]

Great post! Agree 100%!

 

 

 

Here's the thing though... The advice will always be the same because it's what you actually need to do. It's tried and true stuff that a lot of us, including myself, have experienced positive results with firsthand. When you have a bunch of random strangers on the internet (who do not know each other in real life) telling you essentially the same thing, doesn't it strike you as sort of arrogant to think that they're all wrong? If this were the case, wouldn't you simply dismiss us all as a bunch of idiots and not come back?

 

I agree with you that "work on your confidence" is a lame answer. I believe that confidence is gained through accomplishments, i.e. it can be built MANY different ways. When people say that you need to branch out, make new friends, find new activities, learn new skills, etc. it's NOT to divert you away from your goal of having someone to love, but rather to help you build traits that will not only improve your quality of life, but make you more desirable to a woman.

 

I also think that the type of confidence you need is not the balls to go up to a girl and talk to her/ask her out/etc., it's the confidence to be your own person. THAT's what a girl is going to see and be attracted to, not your smooth words, your clothes, your approach, your timing, or all that other BS that some people think "confidence" entails.

 

A woman does not want a broken man, nor does she want to be responsible for making someone else whole or happy. You are constantly saying that getting a girlfriend will make you happy and solve your issues, but what you don't realize is that you're going about it all the wrong way. You're trying to ride the bike backwards, so to speak.

 

Success is a habit. Great successes are often the sum of many small successes. You've got your eye on the ball, but you're disregarding the steps you need to take to hit it out of the park.

[HeavenOrHell]

Why is it a problem that a girl gave you her number? Isn't that a good thing, surely?! Someone wants to be friends with you, it doesn't matter if they're male or female, you could surely do with some friends/building your social life up? Why see it a 'false lead', surely it's flattering this person wants to be friends with you? You were being sociable with her, hurrah, that's good to hear, keep on being sociable with women and men, make friends, do stuff together, meet new people through them. Do it first and foremost because it would be good for you, and secondly; if you have a social life you will be more attractive to women.

Concentrate just on f/ship for now, I'd make as many friends as I can, seriously, it's the way to go

 

And no, I've never wanted to hurt a partner, friend, or ex partner, even the one who turned out to be a total b*stard and I ended up in a refuge, it's not in me to want to hurt someone or want revenge, especially towards someone innocent, I'm better than that.

 

If this friend of yours, the one you want/ed a r/ship with knows you wanted more, I don't see that she was doing anything wrong by meeting with you still, maybe she wanted to see where things went with you two, but she most likely felt you were too intense, people sense stuff even if you don't come right out and say it.

 

 

OK, fine. How am I a stalker?

 

Just so you know, we go to the same school, which started on Monday, and I haven't seen her since the 20th.

That's I haven't heard a good Y that I can accept.

 

I believe that I'm completely ready for a relationship and the only reason I don't have a GF is because something is making sure it doesn't happen.

 

Also I'm teased a lot by fate and given a lot of false leads. Heck, it's only the second day in class and a girl just gave me her number. I was just being sociable with her and then she wants to exchange numbers. Odds are if I try to take it anywhere beyond school related she'll freak out.

 

There are other girls that I know but I don't want to get into more friendzone situations. I'm tired of that crap.

[HeavenOrHell]

>Also actually getting a GF will dramatically boost my self-esteem. Once I have that, I can focus on the other things in my life.<

 

It only works the other way around.

 

And what if you get into a r/ship and she leaves you, how will you deal with that?

[Teknoe]

>Also actually getting a GF will dramatically boost my self-esteem. Once I have that, I can focus on the other things in my life.<

 

It only works the other way around.

 

And what if you get into a r/ship and she leaves you, how will you deal with that?

 

 

Right. I've shared this with SD81 many times before, but he ignores it. My cousin is the same way. It's like saying

 

"Once I buy a house I will be good. Then I can focus on making money."

 

Uh, no. It doesn't work that way. It's money first, house 2nd.

 

Self-esteem and a life purpose first, girlfriend 2nd.

 

The fact that he refuses to accept this is perplexing. And sad.

[Teknoe]

SD81, I would like you to ask yourself what you think of tman's post. I don't want you to skip over it.

 

What are your thoughts on what he shared with you?

 

I've quoted it below again for your convenience to respond to it. I'd like to read your thoughts on his post there.

 

 

Here's the thing though... The advice will always be the same because it's what you actually need to do. It's tried and true stuff that a lot of us, including myself, have experienced positive results with firsthand. When you have a bunch of random strangers on the internet (who do not know each other in real life) telling you essentially the same thing, doesn't it strike you as sort of arrogant to think that they're all wrong? If this were the case, wouldn't you simply dismiss us all as a bunch of idiots and not come back?

 

I agree with you that "work on your confidence" is a lame answer. I believe that confidence is gained through accomplishments, i.e. it can be built MANY different ways. When people say that you need to branch out, make new friends, find new activities, learn new skills, etc. it's NOT to divert you away from your goal of having someone to love, but rather to help you build traits that will not only improve your quality of life, but make you more desirable to a woman.

 

I also think that the type of confidence you need is not the balls to go up to a girl and talk to her/ask her out/etc., it's the confidence to be your own person. THAT's what a girl is going to see and be attracted to, not your smooth words, your clothes, your approach, your timing, or all that other BS that some people think "confidence" entails.

 

A woman does not want a broken man, nor does she want to be responsible for making someone else whole or happy. You are constantly saying that getting a girlfriend will make you happy and solve your issues, but what you don't realize is that you're going about it all the wrong way. You're trying to ride the bike backwards, so to speak.

 

Success is a habit. Great successes are often the sum of many small successes. You've got your eye on the ball, but you're disregarding the steps you need to take to hit it out of the park.

[somedude81]

Here's the thing though... The advice will always be the same because it's what you actually need to do. It's tried and true stuff that a lot of us, including myself, have experienced positive results with firsthand. When you have a bunch of random strangers on the internet (who do not know each other in real life) telling you essentially the same thing, doesn't it strike you as sort of arrogant to think that they're all wrong? If this were the case, wouldn't you simply dismiss us all as a bunch of idiots and not come back?

Ok, throwing out the work on confidence answer, the advice I've gotten is, " make friends, go to activity night, go to therapy, forget about her and kiss her" (almost forgot the last one)

 

Make friends: That's something I'm always up for. But as I said earlier, I've tried several things to make friends. If a guy doesn't want to be friends with me, there's not much I can do. Also I'm not the most outgoing guy in the world, I'm not going to try and get phone numbers from random dudes.

 

Activity night: Already addressed that.

 

Therapy: Been there, done that. But I will try again once my schedule settles down.

 

Forget about her: I'm in the process with that. It's going to be very difficult for me to do. But she's making it easier for me. I sent her three texts today and she's ignored every one. So she's playing that game again. Amazing how she can go from BTW, Happy Birthday! to giving me the silent treatment.

 

Her doing stuff like this just makes me want to have a fight with her. And unless she just forgot to check her phone today or lost it again, she is NOT innocent. If she is choosing to not respond to me, then she deserves my anger.

 

Kiss her: Already established that it's a bad idea at this time.

 

So that's all the advice I've gotten so far.

 

I agree with you that "work on your confidence" is a lame answer. I believe that confidence is gained through accomplishments, i.e. it can be built MANY different ways. When people say that you need to branch out, make new friends, find new activities, learn new skills, etc. it's NOT to divert you away from your goal of having someone to love, but rather to help you build traits that will not only improve your quality of life, but make you more desirable to a woman.

Yes, I fully agree that confidence is gained through accomplishments. But the key to gaining confidence is that one has to care about the accomplishment. We all have certain victories that we don't give a damn about. What's really bad is having a victory and feeling good from it, then being hit with something similar that you fail at, completely wiping away the previous win. That's happened to me a lot.

 

As for learning new skills and finding new activities; it's not something that I haven't tried already.

 

I've learned a new language, joined two different sports teams, picked up surfing, became very active in a campus club, tired going to bars and dance clubs, tried to organize events, learned several styles of dance. I'm not sitting on my hands doing nothing.

 

The problem with women, is that it appears one has to be very successful at the thing you're doing to impress them and become more desirable. But I'm just not really good at anything. And nothing I've done has brought women to me in a way that makes them want me.

 

I also think that the type of confidence you need is not the balls to go up to a girl and talk to her/ask her out/etc., it's the confidence to be your own person. THAT's what a girl is going to see and be attracted to, not your smooth words, your clothes, your approach, your timing, or all that other BS that some people think "confidence" entails.

Actually, it seems that clothes (money), approach, timing and game are the only things that matter.

 

There is a common PUA expression, "Game trumps all." It's why broke ass dudes living with their parents can juggle women.

 

What I really need to do is figure out how to read women and interact with them in a way that makes them like me. Without that, I will never get anywhere with women.

 

A woman does not want a broken man, nor does she want to be responsible for making someone else whole or happy. You are constantly saying that getting a girlfriend will make you happy and solve your issues, but what you don't realize is that you're going about it all the wrong way. You're trying to ride the bike backwards, so to speak.

I don't advertise that I'm broken. I'm not emo nor do I talk bad about myself. Nobody in real life except for my immediate family knows that I'm depressed.

 

I don't see why I can't have a girl now. I have a job, my own place, going to school full-time. I don't have a prison record, don't do any drugs. There is nothing wrong with me at all, expect for a depression caused by being unable to get a woman, and I hide that depression very well.

 

I get frustrated reading threads here from women complaining about their partners and their issues and I know that if I had a GF, I wouldn't have those issues. I just want to yell through my monitor telling her to dump him and date me instead. But nobody gives me a chance

 

BTW I got a nice ego boost yesterday by finding out that several women consider a man being under 5'10 being one their top physical turn-offs. Lucky me!

[D-Lish]

Always full of excuses.

[somedude81]

Always full of excuses.

LOL! Are you still mad at me from the last thread where we had a little back and forth?

[Teknoe]

I sent her three texts today and she's ignored every one. So she's playing that game again. Amazing how she can go from BTW, Happy Birthday! to giving me the silent treatment.

 

 

3 texts in one day? And she didn't reply to any? Sheesh, next time lay off the texting, dude. Especially if she ain't responding. You really seem desperate, and if we, as internet strangers can smell it, then she definitely smells it, and probably smelled it a long while back.

 

You're getting way too intense, and she's realizing she can't take it. Hence the silent treatment. Hence the flaking. This is predictable because it's textbook behavior for women who aren't into a guy who is chasing them.

 

What were the 3 texts about?

 

If I were you, I would have sent 1 text. Something like

 

"Hey, no worries on missing my bday. I just hope your mom gets better soon. Let me know if there's anything I can do. Take care."

 

Whether she responds or not, I would have left it there. it's classy, gentlemanly, and lets her know you care but that you also are willing to give her some space if she needs it.

 

Were any of your 3 texts even about her mom? (I'm fearing they're not). If so, then that says a lot, and she's probably even more turned off and annoyed. I think 3 unanswered texts alone is bad enough, but if none of them addresses her mom, it's double bad.

 

 

Her doing stuff like this just makes me want to have a fight with her. And unless she just forgot to check her phone today or lost it again, she is NOT innocent. If she is choosing to not respond to me, then she deserves my anger.

 

She doesn't deserve your anger. This is such an unhealthy viewpoint you have. We told you she doesn't like you that way. You keep putting yourself into a position to get hurt/turned down/flaked on. It's almost like you enjoy this game in a sick, twisted way. You know she doesn't like you, but you want to push her to say the actual ways. Dude, that is very very unhealthy. Just take a clue and beat it. Leave at least with a little class intact.

 

None of this is her fault. You're doing this to yourself.

 

D-Lish, excuses from SD81? Yes. His problem is paralysis by analysis. He overanalyzes every little thing and finds excuses not to do anything.

[Teknoe]

LOL! Are you still mad at me from the last thread where we had a little back and forth?

 

 

you did it again. Another "LOL, [insert denial here]" reply.

 

you need to humble yourself, as I did myself and wrote about in the thread you posted in... humbling oneself is a key step in the healing process... you need to humble yourself and instead of LOL + denial, then take it like a man and say "Shoot, I am full of excuses. Let's see what I can do to stop that..."

[betterdeal]

Why do you say that?

 

Because rather than be strong enough to be weak, you lash out with anger and disdain. A woman would have to be close to rock-bottom to put up with that.

Edited September 1, 2011 by betterdeal

[somedude81]

you did it again. Another "LOL, [insert denial here]" reply.

Who gives a f**k?!

 

When I see a stupid comment I have a right to respond in a stupid way.

Because rather than be strong enough to be weak, you lash out with anger and disdain. A woman would have to be close to rock-bottom to put up with that.

Strong enough to be weak?

 

Who says I lash out in anger?

 

Not once have I ever yelled at, hit, used and abused or said anything mean to a girl. There are men out there who do terrible things to women. I've never done anything even close to bad.

 

This forum is basically my brain running wild. Yes I have some violent thoughts, but I could never put them into action.

 

What were the 3 texts about?

The night of my birthday I sent her a text.

 

"Hey have you heard anything about your mom?"

 

"just a moment ago yah-shes ok thankfully"

 

"Good. I hope it was nothing serious."

 

(no reply) Maybe I got her mad with that? Because...

 

The next day.

 

"Don't forget that you still owe me an ice cream "

(no reply) Refer back to my text where I first invited her to hang out.

 

Couple hours later around 11 am

"Hey lets hang out this weekend, I got an idea that you'll enjoy"

(no reply)

 

7 pm

"Hey dude, u doing OK?"

(no reply)

 

After I sent it, I realized that I shouldn't have invited her to hang out. I just wanted to show her a good time, but it probably seemed insensitive to her.

 

I have no idea what's going on with her or how's she's doing. This pisses me off because even if I didn't like her, she's still a friend who've I known for a long time and she appears to be ignoring me. I hate being ignored and if she's doing it on purpose it's disrespectful. All she had to do is send a text, "Sorry, I'm a little stressed about my mom," And I would leave her alone.

[thehead]

 

 

Couple hours later around 11 am

"Hey lets hang out this weekend, I got an idea that you'll enjoy"

(no reply)

 

7 pm

"Hey dude, u doing OK?"

(no reply)

 

After I sent it, I realized that I shouldn't have invited her to hang out. I just wanted to show her a good time, but it probably seemed insensitive to her.

 

I have no idea what's going on with her or how's she's doing. This pisses me off because even if I didn't like her, she's still a friend who've I known for a long time and she appears to be ignoring me. I hate being ignored and if she's doing it on purpose it's disrespectful. All she had to do is send a text, "Sorry, I'm a little stressed about my mom," And I would leave her alone.

 

Have you known her to always sit on her phone? I have a female friend who is hard to get a hold of. Her phone is either not charged, she's misplaced it, or she just doesn't give a **** about where it is. As social as she is, her phone isn't the lifeline it is for other people. Maybe this chick is the same way.

[somedude81]

She's always been kind of flaky with her phone in regards to me. Forgetting to charge it, leaving it on silent and not checking for a day, misplacing it stuff like that.

 

Though whenever we've hung out, she's always had her phone with her and texts her mom sometimes.

 

Odds are she's just being flaky and I'll try again in a couple of days.

 

My problem is that I'm very negative and always thinking the worse.

 

I've gotten her mad once by making a joke that she took the wrong way and she ignored me for a week. So when ever she doesn't reply, I automatically think it's because of something I did.

 

Edit:

 

And she got back to me. She forgot to bring her phone charger to school so her phone died.

Edited September 1, 2011 by somedude81

[Teknoe]

Edit:

 

And she got back to me. She forgot to bring her phone charger to school so her phone died.

 

 

What was her response?

[somedude81]

That was her response.

 

I sent her funny picture related to her phone dying but she didn't respond. Odds are her phone is off.

 

I'll send her a text tomorrow when she's back at her place.

[Teknoe]

The night of my birthday I sent her a text.

 

"Hey have you heard anything about your mom?"

 

"just a moment ago yah-shes ok thankfully"

 

"Good. I hope it was nothing serious."

 

(no reply) Maybe I got her mad with that?

 

Good 1st text. Checking in. Seeing if things are OK.

 

Her reply is standard.

 

Your 2nd reply is fine, too.

 

However, you shouldn't have expected her to reply to that. What was she going to say -- "Me too" ?? Maybe if you were her boyfriend or best friend she might respond something like "Thanks for checking in, I appreciate it" but since you're not her BF or best friend, a non-reply on her end is perfectly normal and fine. You shouldn't stress out on that like if you made her mad or something. How could you have made her mad with your 2nd text? It was fine.

 

 

The next day.

 

"Don't forget that you still owe me an ice cream "

(no reply) Refer back to my text where I first invited her to hang out.

 

Couple hours later around 11 am

"Hey lets hang out this weekend, I got an idea that you'll enjoy"

(no reply)

 

7 pm

"Hey dude, u doing OK?"

(no reply)

 

After I sent it, I realized that I shouldn't have invited her to hang out. I just wanted to show her a good time, but it probably seemed insensitive to her.

 

^ Yeah. Ice cream text was a bad move. Her mom just got hospitalized. Now isn't the time to make jokes about her owing you an ice cream. It just comes across very insensitive.

 

Gentlemanly thing to do would be a text along these lines: "If you need me in anyway, I'm here" and then give her space until she reaches out to you.

 

I understand you're anxious to meet up with her again, but do you see the timing of your invite is a little inappropriate? At the very least give her a few days -- don't text her to hang out the very next day following her mom's hospitalization. You are not her boyfriend. It also makes you come off as clingy and very needy.

 

See, this is why it's important to have your OWN friends and hobbies. Instead of texting her so much, you could have said "I'm here if you need me" and then texted your guy friend(s) to hang out, or engage in a personal hobby until she's ready to contact you again.

 

Without friends, without hobbies... it's just way too easy to focus all your attention on a girl. And that actually is a turn-off for the girl, believe it or not. That's why you need to have your own life too, a life that's more than just "getting with the girl."

 

Moderation is healthy. A well balanced life keeps you well-versed and well rounded. That is why having good healthy friends is important. And hobbies that don't involve girls.

 

You may say "Well, the texting thing still worked out" but I'm telling you, look at the BIG picture here. That's why I've been telling you crawl before you walk. Walk before you jog. And jog before you sprint.

[Teknoe]

somedude, got an update for us?

[somedude81]

An update?

 

Well I'm mad at her.

 

And very close to starting an argument with her.

 

We hung out at school for a couple of hours on Wednesday at which time I tried to set up something for Friday, which is when none of us have school and I don't have to work. She told me to talk to her on Thursday.

 

Surprise surprise, she's too busy because she has to do HW and study. No sh*t, school started and now I won't be surprised if she uses that excuse for the rest of the year. Nobody is so busy with school that they can't do anything on the weekend. That's bullsh*t.

 

I almost replied telling her that thought, but decided against, it for now. I'm going to contact her around Sunday to hang out after class on Monday and get her off campus again. If she declines, I'm considering provoking her. I need her to tell me that she doesn't want to hang out, not that she is too busy to, which is just a half assed excuse.

 

What I don't understand is that she obviously enjoys my company when we are together and has fun, but actually making it happy is like pulling teeth. I wish she would just stop saying no, let go, and just enjoy herself.