I feel like crap

[somedude81]

I'm fully convinced that a lot of posters on LS can't relate to the problems of some of the guys on here. All of the advice that's ever given is the (sincere and heart felt) canned cliched advice of "try" or "stop caring", etc. And then of course Teknoe's "get your life in perfect order first" strategy which is equally misguided.

 

The last part that I bolded is the most frustrating part of it all. We (the guys with the problems) know that something is wrong yet we can't figure out what it is and sometimes it seems impossible to fix. You seem to have a particularly hard time (having no friends in addition to no female attention) so I hope you figure it out soon. And if you do I'd like you to publish your memoirs so we can know how you did it.

Thank you 49322.

 

Actually, I think I figured out a while ago what my issue is. I basically believe that I have no value as a human being. As for how to actually fix that, hell if I know. The only thing I can come up with is having a woman show me that I do matter, (words don't count because anybody can say anything.) And we all know there is a fat chance of that happening.

[Imageiko]

Thank you 49322.

 

Actually, I think I figured out a while ago what my issue is. I basically believe that I have no value as a human being. As for how to actually fix that, hell if I know. The only thing I can come up with is having a woman show me that I do matter, (words don't count because anybody can say anything.) And we all know there is a fat chance of that happening.

 

As I've mentioned before that has to come from within. I'm sure that even if you were validated by a women that would only be a temporary fix. You need to be happy with yourself. How you go about doing that is tougher. What I've found works really well is exercise and sports. If that's not your thing then getting good at a hobby or other extra curricular activities very well could do the same thing.

[betterdeal]

Thank you 49322.

 

Actually, I think I figured out a while ago what my issue is. I basically believe that I have no value as a human being. As for how to actually fix that, hell if I know. The only thing I can come up with is having a woman show me that I do matter, (words don't count because anybody can say anything.) And we all know there is a fat chance of that happening.

 

None of us matter! Not in the Big Meaning sense. From Tutankhamen to the bum on your street, we're all the same, in the Big Meaning sense. Bags of water flopping around the surface of a big rock in space for a tiny fraction of a moment of time. It's all ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

 

All that does matter, all that gives us meaning, is our feelings and these are, by and large, dependent on how we relate to the world, and to each other. Notice how You, Pete, Teknoe and I all had the same outcome (and face it, would we be here posting on your thread if we had landed a good squeeze in the past 24 hous? NO!) - we connected or related to a woman to varying degrees in different places and didn't even get called from the bench, never mind getting to first base.

 

But. We enjoyed it. If you enjoy the process of noticing a woman, fixating a bit, and showing interest in her, you're half way there. Then there's the tarrying and interaction, and learning from each experience. That's what a relationship *is*.

 

The way you frame things feeds your subconscious - the simple and childlike centre to you, isn't great at language but is where all your feelings come from. If you feed it negative words consistently, it will feel something is wrong and therefore feel negative. If you feed it positive words, it will feel assured and positive.

 

You don't have to be a happy clappy, wishy washy hippy to feed your mind good stuff, but repeating mantras to yourself can elevate your mood. "I'm good, I'm f*cking good!" is one - say it like Al Pacino would to yourself several times a day. Just as a thought experiment. For me, I began to notice it did elevate my mood. And if something as ridiculous as just saying something nice to myself could do that, what else could?

 

Anyway, we all have our own journeys to make. If you can glean some insights and ideas from what we say here, good for you. If you can't, no big loss. Just keep rolling.

[Teknoe]

I'm fully convinced that a lot of posters on LS can't relate to the problems of some of the guys on here. All of the advice that's ever given is the (sincere and heart felt) canned cliched advice of "try" or "stop caring", etc. And then of course Teknoe's "get your life in perfect order first" strategy which is equally misguided.

 

Sigh...

 

Ridiculous to say my strategy suggests SD must first get his life in PERFECT order. Nobody ever will approach anywhere close to perfect. We all have our baggage. I've been telling SD his goal however should be to reduce his baggage as much as it is possible. Instead of carrying 10 bags, how much lighter his load and happier his life would be if he could find a way to unload say even just 5 of those 10 bags?

 

I also feel it's not healthy to make excuses. You don't drop a victm's mentality by perpetuating/continuing to cultivate that attitude. At some point you need to just DO SOMETHING PROACTIVE. The worst thing is to try nothing, and just keep complaining about your lot in life.

 

I don't know what is "misguided" about encouraging SD different methods to learn to relax and to enjoy/love himself more genuinely. That is the foundation for a healthy existence, let alone a healthy relationship. SD is trying to go from Point A to Point D (having a girlfriend). Problem is, he first needs to go through Point B and Point C (things like valuing himself, his own existence, cultivating healthy male and female friendships etc.)

 

 

We (the guys with the problems) know that something is wrong yet we can't figure out what it is and sometimes it seems impossible to fix. You seem to have a particularly hard time (having no friends in addition to no female attention) so I hope you figure it out soon. And if you do I'd like you to publish your memoirs so we can know how you did it.

 

Shoot, you do know I'm part of the "we" (the guys with the problems) right? So is Pete, Betterdeal, TMAN and others who have posted in this thread. You think I got my stuff together? Heck no. I'm far from where I want to be yet. But I'm trying. Proactively.

 

It's ironic that you say "we know something is wrong yet we can't figure out what it is." Then you say to SD he has a particularly hard time having no friends in addition to no female attention.

 

Doesn't that tell you one POSSIBLE solution is to find ways to cultivate friendships in SD's life?

 

That's point B. Before he gets to Point D.

 

This is not rocket science or a great mystery. SD just needs a support group. He clearly suffers from frequent bouts of depression. He needs real life friends who spur him on and help him to think positively. There are ways he can do this. I've already said he's guaranteed to be cared for if he attends an activity night. But he rejected the idea because he doesn't want to be Bible thumped. Um, I've been to many activity nights. People actually don't talk about the Bible -- they just focus on whatever activity it is (i.e. bowling, movie, game, etc.)

 

He's just not open to taking ideas into suggestion. I think fear is a big factor for him, and clearly that must be addressed somehow. SD talks about change, but honestly, what steps is he taking to make those changes? If the answer is none or hardly anything ... then maybe he should start taking some steps in the first place.

[fortyninethousand322]

Sigh...

 

Ridiculous to say my strategy suggests SD must first get his life in PERFECT order. Nobody ever will approach anywhere close to perfect. We all have our baggage. I've been telling SD his goal however should be to reduce his baggage as much as it is possible. Instead of carrying 10 bags, how much lighter his load and happier his life would be if he could find a way to unload say even just 5 of those 10 bags?

 

You started a thread before encouraging guys to get jobs, get their own place, get in shape, and I can't remember the rest. But you get the point (and since it was your thread I'm sure you remember). All of those are great things, but they don't guarantee one a girlfriend. There's other stuff involved, mostly intangible stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

Shoot, you do know I'm part of the "we" (the guys with the problems) right? So is Pete, Betterdeal, TMAN and others who have posted in this thread. You think I got my stuff together? Heck no. I'm far from where I want to be yet. But I'm trying. Proactively.

 

It's ironic that you say "we know something is wrong yet we can't figure out what it is." Then you say to SD he has a particularly hard time having no friends in addition to no female attention.

 

Doesn't that tell you one POSSIBLE solution is to find ways to cultivate friendships in SD's life?

 

That's point B. Before he gets to Point D.

 

This is not rocket science or a great mystery. SD just needs a support group. He clearly suffers from frequent bouts of depression. He needs real life friends who spur him on and help him to think positively. There are ways he can do this. I've already said he's guaranteed to be cared for if he attends an activity night. But he rejected the idea because he doesn't want to be Bible thumped. Um, I've been to many activity nights. People actually don't talk about the Bible -- they just focus on whatever activity it is (i.e. bowling, movie, game, etc.)

 

He's just not open to taking ideas into suggestion. I think fear is a big factor for him, and clearly that must be addressed somehow. SD talks about change, but honestly, what steps is he taking to make those changes? If the answer is none or hardly anything ... then maybe he should start taking some steps in the first place.

 

You are part of the "we" sure. But the guys I'm talking about are the guys who are struggling with women and/or are inexperienced. Guys like SD81, CrackerJack, Aharddaysnight, me, and a handful of occasional posters that we see from time to time. I'll even throw Floridaman in this category since he was part of this group until he figured it all out.

 

I think it would be a great thing for SD81 to have some friends. I would say that to anyone. It's hard for me to know whether his bouts of depression have caused him to have difficulty making friends or his lack of friends have contributed to his bouts of depression. It's like a chicken and egg thing.

 

As much as I'd love to sit here and say anyone who wants to fix their life can just do it if they put their mind to it (like the 5-0 Lions have apparently done) I understand that it's not always true. Some people are just dealt a crappy hand and it's very difficult if not impossible for them to change it. Do I now that this is the case with SD81? No, I have no idea. Maybe he does need to just try and fix things himself. But, maybe that's not it. So, I will continue to encourage him and be sympathetic to his problems, and give him whatever advice I can. I'm not about to start heaping blame on him as if he's choosing to have problems.

[turnera]

Do you honestly think I haven't thought about that yet?

 

I told the same thing to my therapist a couple years ago.

 

I said that I've been rejected by a lot of girls and I knew the girls weren't wrong I was. That I was the one constant. Then he gave me some line on how I wasn't constant that I've changed a lot over the years and even in the few months that we've been having sessions.

 

The problem is, that I don't know if the issue I have is even fixable. I need to make some major changes and I don't know if I can do it by myself.

Which is what we keep telling you. Find a good professional therapist, work with that therapist, until you get the results you want.

[somedude81]

All throughout High School and my first couple years of Jr. College I had a nice group of friends. Was that the ticket to getting a girlfriend? Nope.

 

There were other periods in my life when I friends that I spent a lot of time with. Did that help me get a girlfriend? Nope.

 

Heck, I was still depressed back then when I did have friends, so friends weren't the answer to that either.

 

As fortyninethousand322 pointed out, there are several other guys on this forum who do badly with women. I could be the only one of them who doesn't have friends.

 

It's something beyond that. I think it's all based on how I communicate with and what I expect from women. I'm not denying that having friends helps, but it's not necessary.

[turnera]

Here's a good place to start. When others posted success stories, instead of looking at them as a way to find clues for improvement, you proved that all you care about is people looking at you, thinking of you, helping you, commiserating with you, propping you up. You said:

Yeah, this isn't the place for other peoples stories and life updates.

 

I thought I made that clear with my response to betterdeal.

 

Do you not see that this is the kneejerk response of a completely self-absorbed person who cannot even imagine giving any consideration for any other person? It's what I've been trying to tell you, why I suggested volunteering. You are SO self-absorbed, you simply have no care for anyone else.

 

Don't you think women sense that? Why would they want a guy who wants the world to care only about him? Where does SHE fit in? As arm candy? A f*** buddy? Dude, it's your personality that's not attractive, not your body. Self-absorbed people are not attractive.

[turnera]

All throughout High School and my first couple years of Jr. College I had a nice group of friends. Was that the ticket to getting a girlfriend? Nope.

 

There were other periods in my life when I friends that I spent a lot of time with. Did that help me get a girlfriend? Nope.

 

Heck, I was still depressed back then when I did have friends, so friends weren't the answer to that either.

 

As fortyninethousand322 pointed out, there are several other guys on this forum who do badly with women. I could be the only one of them who doesn't have friends.

 

It's something beyond that. I think it's all based on how I communicate with and what I expect from women. I'm not denying that having friends helps, but it's not necessary.

What is wrong with you is that you WANT a woman for the sole purpose of HAVING a woman. You aren't looking for someone to love. You're looking for someTHING to make YOU feel GOOD. It's not about pleasing a woman. It's not about loving her so you complete her life. It's 100% about YOU.

 

Until you realize that a human being isn't placed on this earth just to please himself, you'll never get anywhere.

[fortyninethousand322]

What is wrong with you is that you WANT a woman for the sole purpose of HAVING a woman. You aren't looking for someone to love. You're looking for someTHING to make YOU feel GOOD. It's not about pleasing a woman. It's not about loving her so you complete her life. It's 100% about YOU.

 

Until you realize that a human being isn't placed on this earth just to please himself, you'll never get anywhere.

 

Perhaps it's because he's had such bad luck with women he's looking for someone just to get his foot in the door.

 

From his other posts (in other threads and this one) it seems as though he does care about the girl he wrote this thread about. If he didn't care about women, why would he care that none of them liked him? Seems like a catch 22.

 

He's never going to complete some girl's life if none of them will even date him.

[somedude81]

Here's a good place to start. When others posted success stories, instead of looking at them as a way to find clues for improvement, you proved that all you care about is people looking at you, thinking of you, helping you, commiserating with you, propping you up.

Yeah, that's kind of why I made this thread...

 

When most people make a thread about their issues they prefer that other people post not unrelated stories about their life.

 

Though I appreciate it the way that PelicanPete did it.

 

Do you not see that this is the kneejerk response of a completely self-absorbed person who cannot even imagine giving any consideration for any other person? It's what I've been trying to tell you, why I suggested volunteering. You are SO self-absorbed, you simply have no care for anyone else.

Bullsh*t.

Don't you think women sense that? Why would they want a guy who wants the world to care only about him? Where does SHE fit in? As arm candy? A f*** buddy? Dude, it's your personality that's not attractive, not your body. Self-absorbed people are not attractive.

Again, bullsh*t.

 

Turnera, you seem to have an image in your head of who I am and you keep posting trying to say that's what I am. And you couldn't be further from the truth. You don't know a thing about me.

 

Tell me this, would you sleep with a man who volunteers and gives to charity but who is physically unattractive, somewhat socially awkward and doesn't know how to flirt? Now I realize that you have kids and are somewhat older than me, so lets ask this of the you in you in your 20's and early 30's.

What is wrong with you is that you WANT a woman for the sole purpose of HAVING a woman. You aren't looking for someone to love.

It would be amazing to have somebody to love. And as for wanting a woman to have a woman, of course, I'm human. We all want partners, it's how we are programed.

It's not about pleasing a woman. It's not about loving her so you complete her life. It's 100% about YOU.

It's amazing how wrong about me you are.

 

One thing I need to say before you continue your little crusade.

 

I've never been in love nor had anybody love me. All I've had were unrequited 'loves.' No woman has ever let me love her or try to please her.

[Teknoe]

You started a thread before encouraging guys to get jobs, get their own place, get in shape, and I can't remember the rest. But you get the point (and since it was your thread I'm sure you remember). All of those are great things, but they don't guarantee one a girlfriend. There's other stuff involved, mostly intangible stuff

 

I also posted this

 

[COLOR=#990000]http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t285727/[/COLOR]

 

which ironically, you were my 1st reply and you wrote

 

 

Actually...this is exactly my problem. A lot of people can't see the forest for the trees; I can't see the trees for the forest. This is probably the result of what I've spent my academic and (thus far short) professional life doing: analyzing things ad nauseum. I'm just a big picture person.

 

I think most of us late bloomers have issues with instincts, simply because we don't have quite as extensive a history to have learned from. In short: we think too much rather than react. I wish I knew how to not do this, but so far that has eluded me.

 

 

SD is a thinker. So are you. So am I.

 

So when thinkers think bad all the time... are you surprised he's so depressed? He can't think of the blessings he does have in his life, he's too focused on what he doesn't have. If I thought like that, I would be depressed too!

 

The irony is, you can see SD is so obsessive about getting a GF that it only repels the women he meets in real life. Ladies have an amazing ability to smell desperation a mile away. I'm rooting for him, but if he doesn't change his methods I'm afraid of the darkness he could spiral into.

 

His ship is basically on course to a place he doesn't want to go.

 

We're trying to help him steer his ship in the other direction.

 

But ultimately he's at the helm, and his choices are his alone.

 

He's not in a good direction right now.

 

We've offered him many tips that MIGHT (not guaranteed, as results vary person to person, but don't you think he oughta try?) steer him back in a healthy direction, but he constantly shoots it down and continues to steer in the course his life is taking

 

1. Activity night

 

No. Don't want to be Bible thumped.

 

2. Ross provided self help MP3s and asked SD if he's listened to it. No response from SD

 

3. Skydiving

 

SD said his dad mentioned maybe trying it together father and son. What became of this? Did SD ever look into it?

 

4. Volunteering

 

Not for him because it won't help him get a girl

 

5. Toastmasters/Public Speaking classes

 

"Tried it" before, didn't seem helpful. Nobody knows what 'tried it' means. For all we know he could have sat in a couple meetings and said see ya later

 

6. Sports

 

No, made no friends. So no

 

7. Therapy

 

Didn't work before, why should it work now?

 

8. Read Battlefield of the Mind, a book about battling depression and negative thoughts. A best seller that has helped millions, myself included

 

No response from him

 

etc. etc.

 

a reason not to try for every suggestion. if a reason is not provided, it seems he just ignores it. i.e. the self help MP3s Ross was so kind to share.

Edited October 12, 2011 by Teknoe

[Eclypse]

I have no real new advice for you SD. For some reason you just aren't attracting or keeping women or friends. I truly feel sorry for you, and I hope you do succeed soon. You've devoted so much effort into this and it's all fruitless.

 

Guys go easy on him. Until you have been in a position like this yourself, to have spent more than a decade being constantly rejected must be crushing for ones self esteem. You begin wondering what is wrong with you, and why you are different from others. Teknoe the advice about the church group is good for someone who is actually a Christian, but a guy like SD isn't going to feel comfortable there even if they don't do bible readings. I tried going to one with a friend a few years ago, but unfortunately I also am an infidel and it just didn't do it for me. However there are other things he can do. My university has a Science Students Society, Arts Student Society and so on and I'm sure his would too. However I understand that being a 30 year old man around those people who are mostly 18-23 you would be a bit uncomfortable.

 

Honestly though, every piece of advice I can think of is a dead end. I think you may as well try online dating. I know before you said you didn't want to, but really now, beggars can't be choosers. It's time to bite the bullet and do it. It could open up something new for you. Or it could lead to yet another crushing defeat. Only way to find out is to try.

[turnera]

Tell me this, would you sleep with a man who volunteers and gives to charity but who is physically unattractive, somewhat socially awkward and doesn't know how to flirt?

Of course I would, if he was a nice person who I got to know by working side by side with him in the volunteer organization, where we struck up a conversation related to the activity, if I saw that he had a good heart, he liked me, and he had the same goals and values that I did.

 

It is what is inside that counts, dude. MEN look at physical attractiveness as their #1 decision-maker in a mate. Women look at personality, caring, attention, good sense of humor, and safety, more often than not.

[turnera]

The irony is, you can see SD is so obsessive about getting a GF that it only repels the women he meets in real life.

Exactly my point.

[somedude81]

I have no real new advice for you SD. For some reason you just aren't attracting or keeping women or friends. I truly feel sorry for you, and I hope you do succeed soon. You've devoted so much effort into this and it's all fruitless.

 

Guys go easy on him. Until you have been in a position like this yourself, to have spent more than a decade being constantly rejected must be crushing for ones self esteem. You begin wondering what is wrong with you, and why you are different from others. Teknoe the advice about the church group is good for someone who is actually a Christian, but a guy like SD isn't going to feel comfortable there even if they don't do bible readings. I tried going to one with a friend a few years ago, but unfortunately I also am an infidel and it just didn't do it for me. However there are other things he can do. My university has a Science Students Society, Arts Student Society and so on and I'm sure his would too. However I understand that being a 30 year old man around those people who are mostly 18-23 you would be a bit uncomfortable.

 

Honestly though, every piece of advice I can think of is a dead end. I think you may as well try online dating. I know before you said you didn't want to, but really now, beggars can't be choosers. It's time to bite the bullet and do it. It could open up something new for you. Or it could lead to yet another crushing defeat. Only way to find out is to try.

I've thought about online dating and it may be my last resort. But considering how it's basically terrible for men and that I'm short, I don't have much hope.

Of course I would, if he was a nice person who I got to know by working side by side with him in the volunteer organization, where we struck up a conversation related to the activity, if I saw that he had a good heart, he liked me, and he had the same goals and values that I did.

 

It is what is inside that counts, dude. MEN look at physical attractiveness as their #1 decision-maker in a mate. Women look at personality, caring, attention, good sense of humor, and safety, more often than not.

Good to hear it.

 

Though I'm sure the vast majority of girls will say that the things you listed were not enough. That without physical attraction and sexual chemistry, nothing would happen.

 

 

The irony is, you can see SD is so obsessive about getting a GF that it only repels the women he meets in real life.

Exactly my point.

Sigh.

 

Do you think I stand from the rooftops proclaiming that I want a girlfriend? Do you think that I ask out every girl I see? Or that I continually pester the girls I know for dates?

 

Give me some ideas of what you guys think I do that shows the women I interact with that I am obsessive about getting a GF. Explain to me how that could possibly repel women.

 

Extra points if you can do it without mentioning the current girl I'm obsessed with. Because she is not the only girl I've been pursuing.

[turnera]

Well, the first clue is that you say you have no intention of making any male friends because that would not lead to getting a girl.

[somedude81]

Seriously? Not having any interest in making male friends shows women that I'm obsessive about finding a girlfriend and that repels them?

 

If that's the best you can do, you might as well stop.

[Content]

 

It is what is inside that counts, dude. MEN look at physical attractiveness as their #1 decision-maker in a mate. Women look at personality, caring, attention, good sense of humor, and safety, more often than not.

 

:laugh: Please looks are pretty important to women also stop the nonsense

 

The only people who dont prioritize looks at all are ones with little to no options and cant afford to be picky

[Teknoe]

Give me some ideas of what you guys think I do that shows the women I interact with that I am obsessive about getting a GF. Explain to me how that could possibly repel women.

 

 

That's the thing, SD. We can't. Why? Because we can't see you interacting with the opposite sex. If we could, we could tell you good things you do, and bad things you do. All we can do here is guess what your body might be doing wrong that repels women, and you could deny it (while it being true).

 

But you do know body language accounts for more than half of communication right? It could be something as simple as leaning in too much, having funky breath, making awkward eye contact, a tick, etc. etc.

 

We'll never know since we can't see you in real life.

 

And whatever we say, you could ultimately reject/deny.

 

It's the same thing with our advice. This is the problem. We can't force you to do these things. Now if we all knew each other in real life, we could all throw you a "block party" and really spur you on to trying some of these things. But it's easy to brush aside online strangers, isn't it? There's little to no accountability.

 

So I think it's fruitless to list examples of why your body is repelling women, because you could just deny (or ignore) it.

 

The bottom line is, we know your results. You are batting .000, so that leads us to the safe conclusion that something is definitely not working. (a combination of body language, how you talk, what you talk about, and a self-hating spirit that women have a 6th sense for detecting).

 

I also wonder if you had friends before, what's been your trouble keeping them? To me that is a red flag. For example, I wouldn't want my sister dating a guy who is 30, has no friends, has no real desire for friends and is obsessed on having a girlfriend. There's just something that is not right/"safe" about that. I would wish that guy well of course, but I sure wouldn't want my sister dating him -- another girl can date him. Given the choice between a semi-awkward 30 year old with no friends and another semi-awkward 30 year old BUT who has friends, I'd rather my sister date the 2nd guy 10 times out of 10. Who knows, maybe the girls you've wanted to date have noticed that about you and instantly decided not to go any further with you?

 

Have you ever stop to consider that as a possibility?

 

Who knows, perhaps that lady friend of yours would be more intimate with you if over the past 2 years you knew her you organize group outings where she met your friends, you guys all hung out and she could observe what a solid catch you are. She could see how you interact with other people, how you care for others and maybe her heart would have softened and opened up more to you.

 

Instead of all your 1 on 1's where we know your mind (or at least the back of your mind) was so focused on "OMG, I'm hanging out with a girl. I want a girlfriend badly!"

 

As someone once said, "Show me a friend you've had for two months and I'll tell you "Big deal." Now show me a friend you've had for twenty years and I'll know at least someone was able to stand you for that long a time."

 

I'm weary of people who haven't made the effort or just haven't been able to maintain friendships. I emailed my girl friend if she would date a semi-awkward 30 year old with no friends and she said this:

 

"No. That raises my alarm right away. If he can't make and keep friends, there are some issues there. If he were trying at least, like really trying, then that's different. But if he doesn't really care, that's not a guy I can see myself spending the rest of my life with, much less dating him."

 

SD you said not too long ago you know having a social circle is important. Now you say having friends is not necessary.

 

That's like saying "having a car is important, but not necessary"

 

True, you could function and live without a car (or friends). But man, what a shame to go through life without it.

[betterdeal]

"He was a quiet guy; kept himself to himself"

[AD1980]

The op should look to improve regardless of just women but for himself but that doesnt autoamtically mean hell attract women,some of us just dont have that ability to attract owmen whter its our physical emotional or all of the above that turns women off no fluff cliche advice will change that..

[Teknoe]

Cuz living without a car is so harddd. That was a terrible analogy.

 

 

I knew someone would say this and be a hater, lol.

 

Sure, you could use a bike and public transportation.

 

But obviously between you and someone who has a car, the person who has a car has more options.

 

Bottom line = you can go through life without a car or friends, but man, life just wouldn't be as fun and satisfying without it.

[somedude81]

That's the thing, SD. We can't. Why? Because we can't see you interacting with the opposite sex.

Knowing that, you have no right to have said "The irony is, you can see SD is so obsessive about getting a GF that it only repels the women he meets in real life."

 

You just pulled that out your ass.

 

I also wonder if you had friends before, what's been your trouble keeping them?

It's because I didn't put forth the effort to keep them. I have my own reasons why I didn't want to maintain the friendships.

 

BTW, I don't tell people I know in real life that I don't have any friends. This girl still doesn't have a clue.

[Teknoe]

BTW, I don't tell people I know in real life that I don't have any friends. This girl still doesn't have a clue.

 

Maybe she doesn't, maybe she has an inkling. In any case, it's not a positive thing that a person has no friends, I think we can all agree on that. Most of us, anyhow. The closer you get with a girl, the more she will know about you. So your future would-be girlfriend would eventually find out

 

 

Knowing that, you have no right to have said "The irony is, you can see SD is so obsessive about getting a GF that it only repels the women he meets in real life."

 

You just pulled that out your ass.

 

Well, going off our interaction in the past year and reading your posts since last year, and throughout this 700 reply, near 50 page topic, I can see it's clearly an obsession of yours (getting a GF) and there's just NO WAY that can't seep out into your body language.

 

You even said once you're not even sure how to read women, so how do you know how they are READING YOU??

 

Look, I'm not going to argue with you here.

 

I'm just saying there are some things you've written about that are pretty telling. I can't guarantee this is why or that is how, but the evidence points to certain reasons being safer bets than others. That's all.