loving more than one at once

[hART]

Polyamory is being in a romantic relationship with more than one other person.

I don't have a complete opinion yet and appreciate the honest opinions of the people here.

What do you think about polyamory?

Is is a good idea for a person with normal jealousy to be involved in such a relationship?

and

do you personally think there can be healthy polyamorous relationships?

[come on I'm nick]

If you mean healthy polyamorous relationships for a person with normal jealousy, I think it's impossible. But everything in our life depends. Just describe, what you meant by that. If you've got some personal experience here I advice you to spit it out.

 

Though I'm a person with normal jealousy, I imagine some situations with not my wife only. Well, but I don't know how'd I take it in reality. It's something to think over.

[bluechocolate]

Is is a good idea for a person with normal jealousy to be involved in such a relationship?

 

Of course not - unless of course that person is a masochist and enjoys feeling hurt, lonely, dejected, sad, inadequate, etc... The definition I have for this also states "... with the full consent of all persons involved."

 

do you personally think there can be healthy polyamorous relationships?

 

I guess that entirely depends upon how one defines healthy. Maybe for some people this is possible, but I am very doubtful of that. In some cultures, and religions, bigamy is condoned and accepted ( I don't know of any instances where it is the woman with multiple husbands - but please inform me if they're out there ). I've seen many interviews conducted with women involved in bigamous marriages and they, almost to a one, seem to be happy ( at least in front of the camera ) with their relationship, so I can only assume that it is indeed OK for some people. In my opinion, call it poly.. biga ... whatever, it's a construct thought up by men and one which benefits men almost exculsively.

 

Certainly it's possible to love more than one person at the same time - which one of us hasn't suffered from unrequited love? But to take that step farther and say that you can have multiple sexual and emotional relationships? I've known couples who have gone down this road & not a single one of them has worked out such that all partners are fully involved and fully committed. It always ends up back to a couple and someone is left out in the cold feeling hurt, lonely, dejected, sad, inadequate, ..................

[hART]

I certainly don't think I'm in one and I would have thought about being in one until recently.

 

With all the troubles with unrequited love, feelings of exploration and such it seems more natural than monogamy (or monoamory, if there is such a word). It respects that maybe there isn't just one love for each person.

 

No one is forcing me into this, I was just thinking about it in general.

 

I'm wired for one love, I don't really have the energy for more than that. From my research, it takes constant communication, healthy boundaries and mutual respect. While I can do those things, it would be too time consuming.

 

It is inevitable that someone will be hurt in any relationship, but once someone knows something hurts someone...ideally the behavior stops. If it doesn't, it's either a mistake or abuse. Being abused isn't worth the energy.

 

Anyway;

 

From the research I have done, plenty of women are in polyamorous relationships.

 

There is also "polyandry", where a woman has more than one husband.

So it happens.

[come on I'm nick]

Anyway, I think it's possible (I mean to fall in love with two people) and it can happen with everybody, and having sex with another woman is possible, but looking at your wife fuc*king with some man has hard consiquences I think.