Fiance cheated and I punched but is he right to get mad

[Els]

The law isn't always right though, it's legal to have an affair for example. Morally right? No.

 

I had never said that a woman hitting a man was the morally right thing to do.

 

When you say something is exactly the same you consider all aspects.

 

If you think a child hitting a woman is different because their mind is undeveloped, fine. How about said 100-year-old ailing man punching a professional wrestler and vice versa? Would you call it 'exactly the same thing'?

[Memphis Raines]

It's yet another double standard that in society it is more acceptable for a woman to hit a man.

I'd never, ever hit a woman and I'd never, ever accept a woman hitting me.

Violence is bad coming from either gender and I wish this would become the normal way of thinking.

 

He was a piece of sh*t for cheating on you. By hitting him like that you joined him in the toilet bowl and he is right to walk away & not look back.

 

exactly. I would never raise a hand to a woman, or another man for that matter unless I am being threatened or am defending a punch or assault.

 

but I would, if the situation was bad enough, call the cops on a woman that would sit there and try to hit me. And on her way out in handcuffs, I'd laugh my ass off at her.

[carhill]

Carhill, I really don't mean to cause offense, but I've heard that men and women who are psychotic / insane /possesed / whatever the people around them call it, are often able to muster almost superhuman strength. I have read of frail old men, or tiny young women able to tear themselves from the grip of four people restraining them. So I would not use that as a data point where 'average' is concerned.

 

That is precisely my point. The OP, at that moment of attack, was not 'average'. She was incensed, perhaps even a bit 'crazy'. After all, she herself said she has 'never' hit another person. Her filters of moral and decent behavior had departed. Her adrenaline was high.

 

We can debate this in another thread. I've got a substantial volume of information and experience in this area. Happy to go at it.

[Els]

That is precisely my point. The OP, at that moment of attack, was not 'average'. She was incensed, perhaps even a bit 'crazy'. After all, she herself said she has 'never' hit another person. Her filters of moral and decent behavior had departed. Her adrenaline was high.

 

We can debate this in another thread. I've got a substantial volume of information and experience in this area. Happy to go at it.

 

Ah, a valid point in this circumstance. Fair enough.

 

I guess my main point of contention here is that many people here selectively pick and choose which gender differences they wish to acknowledge and ignore based on their own personal bias. Choosing to ignore women's collective lesser physical strength in the name of equality does not sit well with me, especially when many posters cheerfully acknowledge that it is worse for a woman than for a man to have more previous partners or to be overweight, etc.

Edited August 3, 2011 by Elswyth

[StoneCold]

maybe now that we know she is violent and not just smacked him, but punched him and drew blood, just what kind of person she is and why he cheated in the first place

 

 

:eek::eek::eek:

 

I'm flabberghasted.... lmao

[Memphis Raines]

:eek::eek::eek:

 

I'm flabberghasted.... lmao

 

now dont go thinking this is how I really feel.

 

But if we are going to play the game of, "he cheated, therefore he deserved to bleed from the mouth", then we can also play the game of "well now we know why he isn't that into her anymore"

[Jynxx]

I know it was wrong but it was a one-time error in judgement. I couldn't really think straight upon finding out what he did.

I don't think you're to blame you for that. People are irrational at emotional moments. How many footballfans have never thrown something at their tv when the ref made a bad decision that cost their team the game? It's nothing but a small character flaw.

The bigger deal is if the day after that the footballfan wasn't sure if throwing something at the tv was a good or a bad idea, which was more or less what you did in your first post. But you seem to have figured it out, good luck in life:)

 

I'm about to pawn the ring sometime today. I'm moving on with my life now and hopefully I'll learn to trust again. I feel I can't trust at this point.

Don't do it. Call him, tell him if he wants it back he has to get it today or tomorrow, if he doesn't you can do with it whatever you want.

[StoneCold]

now dont go thinking this is how I really feel.

 

But its your statement "justifying" his actions is it not? (oops theres that word again....justification...uh oh spaghettios lmao)

 

lol I'm floored memphis...flooooored

 

I need to shake this off lol

 

Definitely saving this one for later

 

But if we are going to play the game of, "he cheated, therefore he deserved to bleed from the mouth", then we can also play the game of "well now we know why he isn't that into her anymore"

 

 

Hey I'm not playing any "games" and am really not on either side here. To me its just a situation where two people did wrong and should just go their own way (as is being done).

[Memphis Raines]

But its your statement "justifying" his actions is it not? (oops theres that word again....justification...uh oh spaghettios lmao)

 

lol I'm floored memphis...flooooored

 

I think I need to sit down

 

well I guess picking up on sarcasm isn't your forte, since you should know that I think there is no justification for cheating. not even when living with a violent psycho. If this would have been his excuse, he should have left her long ago.

 

but hey, since you are a prime justifier, I figured you'd like that:rolleyes:

[StoneCold]

well I guess picking up on sarcasm isn't your forte, since you should know that I think there is no justification for cheating. not even when living with a violent psycho. If this would have been his excuse, he should have left her long ago.

 

but hey, since you are a prime justifier, I figured you'd like that:rolleyes:

 

 

mmmhmmm

 

nice try buddy

[Memphis Raines]

mmmhmmm

 

nice try buddy

 

no trying about it. cheating is inexcusable, and there is no justification.

 

sorry, I'm not like you, and thank god for that.

[stillafool]

I don't regret at all punching him. How could he do this to me after all I done to him?

 

Did you go over and punch the friend who screwed your fiance? Or were you afraid she would beat you up?

 

I guess I'll have to pawn the ring and if he ever demands it, I will just say I lost it.

 

[Charismatic]

Don't do it. Call him, tell him if he wants it back he has to get it today or tomorrow, if he doesn't you can do with it whatever you want.

I refuse to call that bastard. However, what I can do is give him today and tomorrow (at the most until the 5th) but he would have to call me. If not, then I'm pawning it.

It wouldn't make sense for me, the one that was hurt the most calling him.

[Charismatic]

Did you go over and punch the friend who screwed your fiance? Or were you afraid she would beat you up?

He was suppose to reject her if he was so much ''in love'' with me. He was the one in the engagement with me, not her.

Another possible reason could have been because she wasn't there on the confrontation I had with him.

 

Now had I caught the both of them, it might have created a big war. I no longer speak to her either. She's been blocked from my facebook and have told her off by phone. I told her I know everything and that I never want to hear a single word from them again.

 

What I'm now looking at is an apology message from her at my email. I have not replied and don't care. They're both trash in my eyes, but the biggest loser is my ex.

[stillafool]

What I'm now looking at is an apology message from her at my email. I have not replied and don't care.

 

I wouldn't even reply to her if I were you. Trust me it will hurt her alot more if you don't reply and will cause her more anxiety.

[anne1707]

Then please answer my question, that I asked before: Is a child hitting a woman the same thing as a woman hitting a child? After all, the act is violence, abuse, dangerous, and can kill.

 

So if a 7-year-old boy hit a grown woman, would you say it is the exact same thing as a woman hitting him?

 

 

No it is not the same thing but only in that an adult should have far greater control over their emotional reactions and should also be able to judge right from wrong far better than a child.

 

Elswyth - the whole point of the links I posted in this thread were to prove that a woman can hurt a man just as much as a man can hurt her. Simple as that. Nothing underhand at all. I quoted you only because your post was the most recent stating that it was not the same thing for a woman to hit a man etc. It was not an attack on you but you do appear to have particular issue with me for quoting you. I really don't understand why.

[rafallus]

So if a 7-year-old boy hit a grown woman, would you say it is the exact same thing as a woman hitting him?

 

Does it even matter, if it's exact same thing? Or does it matter that any of those can kill or permanently injure a person?

 

I thought it was about the latter.

[Memphis Raines]

The only time I would say it's ok for a man to hit the woman would be if she's really trying to kill him or has deadly weapon (she has a knife held on his throat or can seriously damage him, tries to choke him, etc.)

 

otherwise, if she is beating the living tar out of him, without intention to kill, but to bloody him up real good, then thats ok, right?

 

he should just put his hand behind his back, let her batter him, and not even call the cops, eh?

[lino]

Seeing some people still trying to advocate that a woman hitting a man isn't as bad is beyond pathetic.

 

It bothers me that anyone can even think like that and consider themselves rational.

Violence isn't cool in any form and from any type of person.

[Ginger Beer]

Did you go over and punch the friend who screwed your fiance? Or were you afraid she would beat you up?

 

Although I sympathise with the OP and don't think she should feel ashamed or that she did anything wrong, this is a very, very good point and is the reason why I think it's OK to hit a woman back.

[UmsteadE]

He is within his rights to be upset about it but I can sympathise with you in this case. Just be careful with what guy you're doing this to if you stumble with this situation again. Some guys might retaliate or report you. This isn't worth getting bruises or charges filed against you.

 

I always carried a recorder or tape just in case I were to come across an aggressive woman. I've been doing this since getting punched on a past relationship. We were arguing and in the middle of it she punched me in the face.

I went up to her and she must have thought I was going to hit back or something (she looked scared) but all I did was kissed her on the forehead and said It's over, bye. This worked better than if I were to hit back or call her names because afterwards, she kept begging for second chance and that it wouldn't happen again. She crying for me to take her back but that's just something not to be tolerated in a relationship.

But honestly (besides us being more stronger) don't know why they blow this out of proportion if for example a guy only slaps a girl back while she punched him several times.

 

I would be running down the hill if I ever encounter a crazy woman but there are certain ones that might take it to the extreme following the man and continue trying to deliver powerful blows. Hopefully I never have to undergo that but if I do at least my evidence would be there.

Edited August 4, 2011 by UmsteadE

[UmsteadE]

I'm noticing more women are starting to actually punch nowadays than slap. What has happened?

Do they know a punch does indeed hurt and some can cause broken noses, black eyes, or even death. For example: A female friend was getting harrassed one day at a bar as some jerk put his hands on her. She turned around and gave him one, that was all it took to literally knock him down. It turns out her 3 older brothers taught her at an earlier age how to throw good punches. Everyone was laughing off course. I even thought it was funny because he simply was asking for it.

[Memphis Raines]

I'm noticing more women are starting to actually punch nowadays than slap. What has happened?

 

what has happened is that they think they should be able to get away with it.

 

Now I would never hit a woman back in defense, even though I'd have a legal right, but I would fend her off.

 

but this is the whole point to someone saying if a guy presses charges he is a "pussy". If you don't do SOMETHING, this is the result. They get away with bad behavior.

[lino]

I'm noticing more women are starting to actually punch nowadays than slap. What has happened?

 

They realise the consequences will be next to nothing, if any at all.

[Disillusioned_Wife]

Note: I'm a BS (betrayed spouse)

 

First, he's right. That's assault, no excuse for assaulting him. Second, give him the ring back.

 

You should be careful pawning it because he can sue you for the value of it. If he wants it back, you should give it back. Do look up your state or country laws about gifts and valuable gifts that have been given.

 

It differs from area to area on who has the right to the gift. He has the receipt, if he isn't finished paying for it he can bring it back to the store if he wanted to.

 

While I understand how you feel I don't condone assaulting a person no matter what they've done (though, believe me, I have felt the very same reaction and set of emotions that you have).

 

I'm a woman who is also of the mind set that if a woman wants true equality and she strikes a man she should expect an equal reaction (in others words, he may strike back) but must also expect the same consequences that men face today under the same domestic violence laws.

 

We're all human, we all have raw reactive emotions (aka knee jerk reactions) but it's still no excuse to assault someone.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this, I wouldn't even wish this type of pain on my worse enemy.