Fiance cheated and I punched but is he right to get mad

[Tayla]

The law isn't always right though, it's legal to have an affair for example. Morally right? No.

 

Actually in some states in america its chargeable, also if the person is underage. Fine lines and ways of working thru the current laws is the expertise of a Great lawyer, and they are out there and can find ways to right a moral wrong

[Tayla]

Endure the following for it has a final point.

 

I sat and listened thru the Loreena Bobbitz case. I was 100% appauled at the female groups who gathered and chanted in her favor. She in essence of the written laws had assaulted and permenently damaged another human being and the courts ruled--- ....HER INNOCENT!! I fainted and lost ALL faith in any justice thru the judicial system. So even when the charge meets all critereas' of violating a LAW, she walks. I distain and refuse to acknowledge that case as being JUSTICE met. I seriously learned that "gender" does play a part in the courts and I am ALL about fairness irregardless of gender...somehow the courts flipped that concept and gave me the finger on my idealism of being a fair world. ITs not by any means fair or just. Its probably one of the few times that I felt pure shame for being a female and having sooo many ladies cheer on such a heinous act as preformed by Loreena.

 

So my point is this...gender aside and tables turned, if the guy chopped off a females body part we'd all be up in arms about it...telling him he is a sick man, yet let a so called Lady do it and the world rejoiced....( I didnt).

 

So bottom line, a punch or assault whilst by law may have transpired...all the lady need do is claim some kinda ludricous defense and get dismissed of charges...I sincerely do not get that reasoning...... (END OF RANT)...

[Memphis Raines]

Actually in some states in america its chargeable

 

show me, because the only antiquated laws on the book are Alienation of Affection which has more to do with suing the affair partner and not the cheating spouse.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'd love infidelity to be illegal.

 

 

also if the person is underage.

 

that has to do with having sex with a minor, not tied to infidelity.

[Woggle]

Endure the following for it has a final point.

 

I sat and listened thru the Loreena Bobbitz case. I was 100% appauled at the female groups who gathered and chanted in her favor. She in essence of the written laws had assaulted and permenently damaged another human being and the courts ruled--- ....HER INNOCENT!! I fainted and lost ALL faith in any justice thru the judicial system. So even when the charge meets all critereas' of violating a LAW, she walks. I distain and refuse to acknowledge that case as being JUSTICE met. I seriously learned that "gender" does play a part in the courts and I am ALL about fairness irregardless of gender...somehow the courts flipped that concept and gave me the finger on my idealism of being a fair world. ITs not by any means fair or just. Its probably one of the few times that I felt pure shame for being a female and having sooo many ladies cheer on such a heinous act as preformed by Loreena.

 

So my point is this...gender aside and tables turned, if the guy chopped off a females body part we'd all be up in arms about it...telling him he is a sick man, yet let a so called Lady do it and the world rejoiced....( I didnt).

 

So bottom line, a punch or assault whilst by law may have transpired...all the lady need do is claim some kinda ludricous defense and get dismissed of charges...I sincerely do not get that reasoning...... (END OF RANT)...

 

Very true. Some women will defend other women no matter what and that is what this is about.

[samsungxoxo]

Well what Loreena Bobbitz did was extreme and very disturbing. I don't find that funny either. Had it been a slap or punch (at most a kneeling below) for being an abusive or cheating bastard then it's understandable but she really went to far with cutting his genital.

 

That is a disgusting case and for that, she deserved more jail time. That's the only case I won't agree with another woman but other than that, a simple non-threatening hit is nothing to be all paranoid about.

[samsungxoxo]

Very true. Some women will defend other women no matter what and that is what this is about.

It's natural to defend your gender for the most part (unless there are exceptional cases).

 

Many guys defend other dudes when they sleep around with multiple girls and they're called studs. They may also brag about it to their guy friends and they have a good laugh about it. That's one standard that applies to men but what if a woman sleeps around with different men? You can bet people will immediately label her as a slut and won't leave her alone. She's looked down upon.

So by applying that, there is no such thing as ultimate equality between the genders. Maybe voting, job opportunities and freedom of speech but not on specific areas.

[Memphis Raines]

Well what Loreena Bobbitz did was extreme and very disturbing. I don't find that funny either. Had it been a slap or punch (at most a kneeling below) for being an abusive or cheating bastard then it's understandable but she really went to far with cutting his genital.

 

well then since you are the cheating kind, then it would be understandable if someone slapped you if you cheated on them, eh?

[Buck Turgidson]

show me, because the only antiquated laws on the book are Alienation of Affection which has more to do with suing the affair partner and not the cheating spouse.

 

Don't get me wrong, I'd love infidelity to be illegal.

 

Your wish is my command.

 

New York Penal Code § 255.17 Adultery. A person is guilty of adultery when he engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse. Adultery is a class B misdemeanor.

 

Many states have such statutes. Nonetheless, they are not and never have been enforced, and if they were, would almost certainly be found unconstitutional.

[samsungxoxo]

well then since you are the cheating kind, then it would be understandable if someone slapped you if you cheated on them, eh?

I didn't cheated. Technically it wasn't but it was close, still doesn't count.

Why do you still digging my previous threads I wrote long ago?

 

BWT my now ex BF (I broke it off) and me are friends and still keep in contact. Even if I were in another relationship, we wouldn't stop talking to each other.

 

Lastly, unfortunately this doesn't apply to guys. Perhaphs other things does but not this. Why? No reason, that's just the way the norm is. Go against it and you might find yourself in trouble.

[rafallus]

Lastly, unfortunately this doesn't apply to guys. Perhaphs other things does but not this. Why? No reason, that's just the way the norm is. Go against it and you might find yourself in trouble.

You're wrong.

 

I've been on both sides of this and both sides got away with it, as far as no-harm-intended-no-harm-done punching is concerned.

 

As for harm-intended punching, I believe that nobody is daft enough to suggest any double standard there.

[lino]

Very true. Some women will defend other women no matter what and that is what this is about.

 

I've noticed this happening & it really disturbs me.

This thread has opened my eyes up to what sort of people some of the members here are.

 

Endure the following for it has a final point.

 

I sat and listened thru the Loreena Bobbitz case. I was 100% appauled at the female groups who gathered and chanted in her favor. She in essence of the written laws had assaulted and permenently damaged another human being and the courts ruled--- ....HER INNOCENT!! I fainted and lost ALL faith in any justice thru the judicial system. So even when the charge meets all critereas' of violating a LAW, she walks. I distain and refuse to acknowledge that case as being JUSTICE met. I seriously learned that "gender" does play a part in the courts and I am ALL about fairness irregardless of gender...somehow the courts flipped that concept and gave me the finger on my idealism of being a fair world. ITs not by any means fair or just. Its probably one of the few times that I felt pure shame for being a female and having sooo many ladies cheer on such a heinous act as preformed by Loreena.

 

So my point is this...gender aside and tables turned, if the guy chopped off a females body part we'd all be up in arms about it...telling him he is a sick man, yet let a so called Lady do it and the world rejoiced....( I didnt).

 

So bottom line, a punch or assault whilst by law may have transpired...all the lady need do is claim some kinda ludricous defense and get dismissed of charges...I sincerely do not get that reasoning...... (END OF RANT)...

 

I'd never heard of this & googled it. Literally made my stomach turn.

The double standards, especially in America, are a joke & need to go.

I think that pile of sh*t would have served jail time here... I hope.

 

Well what Loreena Bobbitz did was extreme and very disturbing. I don't find that funny either. Had it been a slap or punch (at most a kneeling below) for being an abusive or cheating bastard then it's understandable

 

Umm, no it isn't understandable. A cheater is a low class person but so is someone who physically assaults them in revenge.

 

It's natural to defend your gender for the most part (unless there are exceptional cases).

 

Many guys defend other dudes when they sleep around with multiple girls and they're called studs. They may also brag about it to their guy friends and they have a good laugh about it. That's one standard that applies to men but what if a woman sleeps around with different men? You can bet people will immediately label her as a slut and won't leave her alone. She's looked down upon.

So by applying that, there is no such thing as ultimate equality between the genders. Maybe voting, job opportunities and freedom of speech but not on specific areas.

 

Not even in the slightest bit comparable... Are you kidding?

Women supporting a b*tch who cut someones dick off is so far away from men encouraging a supposed 'stud' that it isn't funny. Get real!

 

Besides, women encourage these supposed 'studs' just as much by continually flocking to such guys.

 

 

You'd never, ever see blokes supporting a c*nt that mutilated a womans genitals.

Infact a guy who goes to jail for something like that will likely have an even tougher time there than he'd be expecting.

[Lucas_ip]

You women have it so easy. He cheats, it's not even self-defense and you not only socked him but drew blood.

That's part of the reason I'm close to giving up on dates but I'm not giving up hope yet.

 

I've never been punched by a woman; only slapped and it was still annoying. If I ever get punched hard enough to draw blood or give me a black eye (or in the extreme case, get kicked below the belt), I'll still be a man and won't hit her back but she won't really get away with it. I'll humiliate her and she'll probably end up apologizing, then I might used her as a fling and finally publicly dump her. I'll find a way to make her pay for it, by hurting her emotionally.

 

This sucks and there are times you wished it was a dude that hit you so you can knock the hell out of him. Then you see it's a girl/women and you can't do that much. Well maybe with the exception of calling her every single bad word in the book such as slut, C, B, or Whore.

Edited August 8, 2011 by Lucas_ip

[Woggle]

I didn't cheated. Technically it wasn't but it was close, still doesn't count.

Why do you still digging my previous threads I wrote long ago?

 

BWT my now ex BF (I broke it off) and me are friends and still keep in contact. Even if I were in another relationship, we wouldn't stop talking to each other.

 

Lastly, unfortunately this doesn't apply to guys. Perhaphs other things does but not this. Why? No reason, that's just the way the norm is. Go against it and you might find yourself in trouble.

 

You might not have cheated but I have seen you in threads defending cheaters. You do come off as a bit hypocritical in this thread.

[Memphis Raines]

Your wish is my command.

 

New York Penal Code § 255.17 Adultery. A person is guilty of adultery when he engages in sexual intercourse with another person at a time when he has a living spouse, or the other person has a living spouse. Adultery is a class B misdemeanor.

 

Many states have such statutes. Nonetheless, they are not and never have been enforced, and if they were, would almost certainly be found unconstitutional.

 

that is sweet. wish that were the case in my state.

[Memphis Raines]

I didn't cheated. Technically it wasn't but it was close, still doesn't count.

 

*sigh* ya ya ya.

 

so if you were to cheat:rolleyes:, you'd deserve to get slapped based on your logic?

 

 

Why do you still digging my previous threads I wrote long ago?

 

 

what digging? I simply have a good memory

[samsungxoxo]

You might not have cheated but I have seen you in threads defending cheaters. You do come off as a bit hypocritical in this thread.

Not all cheating stories are the same so therefore you can't put everything under one bag. Other than that, I just make deductions through common sense and well we are have our opinions. I might not agree with something while someone else favors it.

 

I know I previously stated about fantasizing about cheating as well as revenge cheating but the point is I've never cheated. So that doesn't count. Thoughts not transformed into actions don't count at all.

 

I still stand my my view... the OP shouldn't feel bad about what she did.

[samsungxoxo]

Umm, no it isn't understandable. A cheater is a low class person but so is someone who physically assaults them in revenge.

It wasn't right but she was under a very difficult situation. How about if she not only had to deal with his cheating but a possible STD? I can tell you if some jerk brought me an STD because he couldn't keep it in his pants, he would pay dearly. No I won't do what Loretta did but maybe kick below the belt and then have him charge for infecting me.

Not even in the slightest bit comparable... Are you kidding?

Women supporting a b*tch who cut someones dick off is so far away from men encouraging a supposed 'stud' that it isn't funny. Get real!

When did I said I supported Loretta. I also think that was extremely and wrong. I wouldn't defend her in that case. I only said a mere slap or non-threatening punch after jerk cheats on you can be explained as a ''heat of the moment'' one time thing. To us, getting hurt emotional or in the extreme case, being infected with a disease is a lot worst than any hit landed. A mark will heal faster but not emotional pain.

[Memphis Raines]

When did I said I supported Loretta. I also think that was extremely and wrong. I wouldn't defend her in that case. I only said a mere slap or non-threatening punch after jerk cheats on you can be explained as a ''heat of the moment'' one time thing. To us, getting hurt emotional or in the extreme case, being infected with a disease is a lot worst than any hit landed. A mark will heal faster but not emotional pain.

 

well then if you support the punch in the face because of cheating, then you would also have to support it if the woman cheats on the man and the man reacts because he was in a "difficult situation" as you put it.

 

othewise its nothing but pure sexism and double standards.

 

and no, I do not support a man hitting a woman. I do not support anyone hitting anyone.

[EM47]

The guy is a spinless coward and for him to be mad at you, a girl, his finance who he just cheated on for punching him (drew a little blood, its not like you knocked out 8 teeth or something) makes him even more a coward and a little *****.

 

Punch him harder next time, he deserved it 100%.

[Kelemort]

Getting cheated on and other adrenaline-inducing events can cause all sorts of problems..but he's right in that you assaulting him doesn't make the situation any better. If you're ever in this position again, your best bet is just to walk out the door and go to a friend's house or your parents' place. I understand why you did what you did - I doubt most folks here have been in this position - but it still doesn't make it right. In the future, you can affect your coping mechanisms.

 

The issue now is - do you even want to be with this guy? I'd say first thing's first - the friend's no longer your friend and neither of you are going to be having contact with her anymore. Period. If you go back to him and at all suspect he's having any contact with her, it's over. But that's if you can trust him. Would you want to march down the aisle already when you have a very serious issue brewing? Do you think you will ever find out underlying motivations for his affair (or was it just, "I want variety" or "She was hot")?

 

I do think you should call or see him and apologize for your actions - admit that you were so enraged, so upset and so angry that you did something very destructive and childish. Let him know that if he would like to talk about the affair, you're open to talking. But until that happens, your relationship is effectively over. That's what I would do, anyway.

[Charismatic]

As far as the update he just stopped by today to pick up the ring. That's the only reason he called me. Eitherway I had no intention of ever taking him back.

I don't need a man who can't keep it in his pants. I deserved much better than that so no if he ever begs for forgiveness again I still will not take him back.

At this point it's like I feel total indifference towards him. I don't care no way or the other about his reasons nor if he's feeling terrible. Needlessly to say he still had the nerve to tell me I'm crazy for punching him and the ''You're lucky it was just me, but you would have deserved to get hit back or charged for that, though I cheated I'm still a real man''.

The nerves of him to rub it in my face like that. He was not even the least apologetic in the cheating anymore but I don't care. It wouldn't have made any difference, I still would have rejected it.

[Charismatic]

The issue now is - do you even want to be with this guy? I'd say first thing's first - the friend's no longer your friend and neither of you are going to be having contact with her anymore. Period. If you go back to him and at all suspect he's having any contact with her, it's over. But that's if you can trust him. Would you want to march down the aisle already when you have a very serious issue brewing? Do you think you will ever find out underlying motivations for his affair (or was it just, "I want variety" or "She was hot")?

Kelemort no I want nothing to do with him. It ended when he cheated and as a woman that is the most ultimate sign of disrespect, the worst thing a man can do to me.

I can tolerate many things except cheating.

[Jynxx]

I don't wanna come over as an *******, but I feel I have to say it

I don't need a man who can't keep it in his pants. I deserved much better than that

Well, he deserves someone who can keep her fists under control.

Needlessly to say he still had the nerve to tell me I'm crazy for punching him and the ''You're lucky it was just me, but you would have deserved to get hit back or charged for that, though I cheated I'm still a real man''.

The nerves of him to rub it in my face like that.

Sorry to say it, but he has a point. I also get the feeling it wasn't a mediocre punch but something with all the force you had in you behind it, am I right?

 

cheated ... the worst thing a man can do to me.

Personally I think there are worse thing, physical violence not out of selfdefence being one of them. But I'm glad you didn't steal the ring and lost your sense of right and wrong for a couple hundred, good luck with the rest of your life.

[David Cain]

No she had no right to commit battery (assault is threat of doing something, battery is the physical touching, or hit in this case)---but she just reacted to getting her heart trampled---she doesn't need counseling---she just needs to move on, and take plenty of time before committing to a relationship----just go out and date, and don't let guys talk you into anything, until you are completely sure of who you are with.

 

Great response, but he had it coming.

Edited August 10, 2011 by David Cain

[David Cain]

Thank you for your inputs even though some of you disagreed with what I did. I know it was wrong but it was a one-time error in judgement. I couldn't really think straight upon finding out what he did.

 

All of the sudden it felt as if I had drank acid on my throat and then a kick in the stomach. I couldn't believe what I was dealing with. It just couldn't be.

 

BTW I have never in my life ever hit a man. This is really my first time as I'm not really those types of women who hits just to hit, without expecting them to hit back (this is a risky move but this time I couldn't think at all). I just realized it was wrong what I did but he got me on a really aweful position. After he left I just started crying for some minutes till I could manage to pull myself again. Everyone now knows what type of loser he is. I even told his parents about it and they were comforting. They are shocked their son would do this and even told me the punch was deserving.

 

I'm about to pawn the ring sometime today. I'm moving on with my life now and hopefully I'll learn to trust again. I feel I can't trust at this point.

 

Don't worry. It was a natural reaction. You had a moment of temporary insanity. It's common with people being cheated on.