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How to deal with something when u dont know what your dealing with??


Gema1986

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Hey guys,

 

I'm struggling at the moment, really struggling to deal with my emotions & cope with the situation.

 

Basically I've been with a guy for several months, we clicked, we get on, never argued, love the bones of each other - basically are perfect for each other.

 

But we both have children, mine live with me & his dont. But he does still see a lot of them, has them several times a week & stuff. Up til a few weeks ago things were perfect, then he told me he was struggling when he spends time with my kids as he feels an overwhelming sense of guilt that its not his kids that are there & they should be. He left his ex wife but perfectly justifiable reasons so he didnt just leave on a whim.

 

He told me a few days ago that he needs some space & time on his own. He feels that hes been in relationships for the majority of his adult life & now needs to be on his own. He did also state that his head is & a mess & he feels like an idiot because he's breaking it off with me when i'm everything hes ever wanted in a woman, to him I am perfect & he loves me & cares for me dearly.

 

Initially I just thought yeah he needs some time to get his head around things, but now I'm heartbroken because I think its a lot more serious than that.

 

If he cant manage with the kids now, he wont manage in 2-3 years time, he may never accept that he cant live with his children.

 

So do I admit defeat & accept that he'll never come back to me? Or do I hold out hope that maybe its all just gone a bit too fast for him, give him time to cool down & maybe he'll want to try again - after all I'm his perfect woman?

 

I dont know what to do, Im ok 1 min & the next im a blubbering wreck because i sit here & think thats it, its over.

 

I cant cope cos I dont know where things stand. When I asked him a few days ago he apologised & said he couldnt give me an answer cos he really doesnt know x

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its him saying that he doesnt want to be with you and he wants to be alone. and when he says he doesnt know he means yes it is over but he cannot see himself as such a bad person for ending it with you.

 

remember what i say because in the far future you will find out that it is true.

 

so, cope in the way somebody dumped you. whatever the reasons, you need to move on.

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and no, it is not your fault. it is him not wanting to be with you, because there is a lot that cant work out, and he doesnt want to try to work it out. its not you, you have nothing wrong as a person. that is also the reasons why he didnt want to say it, because he knows you dont deserve it.

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