Zarnath Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Hello everyone, Its been 9 days since me and my girl broke-up, she said she wasn't feeling the same and she needed time, we've been together for 10 months the thing is I still love her more than anything in the world and i thought i just lost her. She said we could be friends and we talk sometimes but then i kinda stopped calling... I was so depressed because it isn't the same anymore, i've been talking to everyone ( I am a really nice guy and i know most of her friends) and finally I found something out, One of her friends talked to her and she said she misses me and that a few days ago she feeled like hugging someone and i wasn't there by her side but what keeps confusing me is that everytime i see her in places such as the mall, town, everywhere!! I try to avoid her but she comes up to me with the happiest smile on her face i've ever seen and talks to me. Last time she saw me her friend asked her how she felt and she said she misses me but she feels normal when she sees me...what does that supose to mean? She is the kindest and sweetest girl i've ever met, believe me, she wouldn't be pulling this out because she doesn't feel anything for me anymore or is meetng someone else, she said she wants to invite me to her house the next time her parents rent movies, I have tried to forget about her and i did but at the end of the day when i go back to sleep i wake up crying because i dreamt about her, i've had the same dream for 9 nights straight, a dream in which she would come back to me even if im not thinking about her that night. Everyone has told me she still loves me and that she is probably hiding it But why? Why does she feels so happy when she sees me if she wanted to break up with me? When i get the chance to be alone with her how should i act? I havent called her for 2 days now, I wanted to see if she is interested in me she would call me but still i dont want to make her feel that im forgeting her because if I do, if there were any hopes, she would forget about it. I have tried everything, running, exercising, talking to the people who loves me, playing video games, try not to think about her but it feels like a tranquilizer, it only calms me for a period of time, after that period im back at the beginning crying again, the memories come back when im not even thinking about her so how am i supose to move on like this? Each passing day gets worse, since she lives just 10 min from my house i see her like 3-4 times a week. I am totally confused about what she feels for me, if I will ever have a second chance, heck i even talked to her about it, she said that "Maybe" someday we will be together but she seems so happy alone that i dont want to interfere in that anymore. But if thats the case, why would she be inviting me for movies and look so happy when she sees me? I know that if I love her i would just let her be happy, but what about me? She feels real happy around me? Why break up then? Maybe she's too young? She's 17 but she said she never wanted to leave my side, i made her feel like a princess these 10 months and she made me feel like a prince so why end it from Night to Morning? I also heard her saying that if she meets someone, good and if not its good too, does she want to be in a relationship? Or is she just trying not to show her affection towards me? I know this might seem so confusing to you guys too but if you have any advices, opinions about what she might have in mind or things i can do to move on i will really appreciate it. Thx Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 write that story above in a letter and send it to her. leave it at that, if she responds super...if not, at least she knows how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 I agree...only she can give you the answers you truly need! Good luck with her! Link to post Share on other sites
aazarkan Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 I am not trying to sound cruel, but this is the truth. You need to grow some inner strength before she will ever want you back. I am personally broken up with my dearest girlfriend...or ex-girlfriend at the moment. The best thing you can do is mirror her attitude, be happy and show her that you have strength. Females don't want to feel like that are responsible for someone elses well being. That is too much of a burden for anyone other than yourself to have to carry. You are the only one responsible for you feelings. The good news for you is that she says she is still in love with you and that she misses you, but look at it from her point of view. Why would she miss someone who is miserable and depressed. You are afraid to even talk to her, why would she want someone who fears her. It seems like you put her up on a pedalstool, which is great in theory, but not in actuallity. If you treat her better than you do yourself, it show little self-esteem and self-respect. She will eventually start feeding off of that and thinking that she is better than you. Why would someone want to date someone who is below them? Are you following me. All is not lost, but you need to grow a backbone and start living life on your own, once you do that, hopefully then she will see what she fell in love with in the first place. In the end, if you fail, at least you lived through this temporary hell with dignity and courage. Good luck, I know how it feels and how hard it is, I am only 5 days removed myself, but I have a lot of confidence that all will be well, one way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zarnath Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Thanks alot guys, especiall aakarzan, Ill keep that in mind but i wanted to say I did called her last night, I was acting cool like friends and if nothing ever happened and she was like, wow, you didnt even thought about those things before I.......and she said nevermind, we kept talking for a little while about what we've had done in the weekend etc. and then she had to go and there I told her in a sweet tone "I still Love you" and i think she was kinda shocked...she kinda like wanted to reply but kinda swallowed her words, you could've here her tryingo to say something but couldn't make it out and then after a few seconds of silence she kinda change the subject and kept talking and I was thinking to myself "I thought she had to go". I was thinking about acting cool, happy, do things that would impress her and wait some time after every call now that she knows that i still love her, then once she has seen the change she might realize i am really worth it, if not well, i did my best, I know she is worth it but i can't obligate her to be with me, I mean she is still here, we're friends, maybe its not the time to be together now, but I will keep my Faith. Thanx again guys. Link to post Share on other sites
aazarkan Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 A couple of more things to point out real quick. Don't tell her that you love her, you want her to wonder. You want her to start missing you so that she is afraid she might lose YOU. Play their game, if you do it right, YOU have all the power, not them. Remain confident with yourself. When talking to her, always cut the conversation shorter than what they want, that leaves them wanting more. And she hesitated when you said you loved her because she wasn't sure if she should say it back and recipricate the feelings. Ideally, you don't want to put them in that situation, it rushes things and makes them feel uncomfortable. If you do everything right, they will say it first AND they will be the one to ask for YOU back. If you need any more help, feel free to IM me, the name is Aazarkan on AIM, just the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zarnath Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Holy ****!!! Dude, thanx for the advice I almost said it again today, I guess ill just let her wonder and dont say anymore things again except I did come up with something while i was talking to her. We were having a lil laugh and talking about how lazy i was and I said that she is lazier because when we were together at her house she was the one who made me get her drinks and stuff at her own house and we started laughing a bit...Do you think that reminding her of what we did in the past but saying it like a joke make her miss those old times, i mean saying it the way I did as if Im not telling her directly? Link to post Share on other sites
aazarkan Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Well, being passive agressive is never going to work. You honestly have to act like all you want is to be friends. You have to make her afraid that she may lose you. She is comfortable right now that she will always have you to go back to...so she won't miss you as much as she could. Throw her off the scent. As long as she is sure you are going after her, she will always know she can come back to you whenever she wants. The minute she wonders if she is losing you is the minute all the power is yours. The easiest advice I can give you is "Don't be pathetic" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zarnath Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Wow, no one ever said that to me before, thanx alot. Link to post Share on other sites
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