wannabdone Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 you need to decide if you can 'live with' his relationship with his ex wife. He gets to define it and you can either accept it or not. You have expressed many times to him how you don't like it and his reaction has been "so what". why do you stay? Is it because you feel you need to since you invested so much time in the affair? If they are co-parenting, they will always be in communication. You may not like it and you may not agree with it; but he has shown you through HIS actions that he doesn't care how you feel. He even HIDES it from you!!! So again, why do you stay? I think this was a reason why I did. I felt like I had invested so much, time, $, emotions, devasted so many ppl... I had no other choice but to stay. Not saying this is her reasoning, but definitely you hit the nail on the head why some do. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 Are there kids involved? If so, then she will always be a part of your lives. Get used to it. If not, then there has to be boundries and he needs to focus on you and bonding with you not his ex and spending more time with her. Otherwise, what was the point of divorcing and him being with you full time? Whatever their dynamic was during their marriage is obviously still going on now, just minus the sex and husband/wife thing. Something still connects them..If not kids, then what? You need to find out and tell him he needs to choose, that he still can't have it both ways. That's unfair to you and also to his ex's fiancee. Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 I'm sorry I haven't read the whole thread yet. I just wanted to tell you from your OP that a successful R has its foundation in how two parties relate to each other and others. You and your S/O have a really unhealthy (to me) way of handling things. You're both a bit too laissez-faire. He leaves a M which he said was happy while he was dating online. You find him online, like him but kind of like another person. Then you both move in together...and now you're worried he still has feelings for his W. Have you both actually discussed what you're trying to achieve? We all make mistakes in life but I can't comprehend how people take Rs so lightly. This is a major life decision and it seems to me you aren't really putting too much thought into it. Can you just take a moment to know what you really want before rushing into things? Let your S/O do the same. You're like two little kids playing house. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Carrot2000 Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 So again, why do you stay? Because OP knows that the minute she leaves, he's going back to his ex-wife. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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