Ready to move on, but out of touch.

[Frederoni]

Hey everyone,

 

Since this is my first post, I suppose I'll start it off by giving you a little background of my past. I've only ever been in one relationship, which lasted 3 years. We met during high school through a friend, and instantly became close. After having been together for most of the three years, I find out that she's cheated on me a few times in the past with a few different guys, and apparently, one of them was (at the time) my best friend. Oh well, **** happens. Because of that situation, I lost a friend, and a seemingly great relationship.

 

It's now been over a year and a half, and I finally feel like I'm ready to get back out there and give it another go. There's only one problem, I don't know how. I'm not good at approaching strangers, especially if it's a women that I'm attracted to. That being said, I'm not that shy. I guess I just prefer to be the stranger being approached. And this is where my problem lies, I do not get approached.

 

I've asked a few of my female friends about this and they all tell me that I'm retarded for even thinking that a women would ever approach me, that it's "the mans job" to make the first contact. I think that that's absolutely ridiculous, but oh well. A few of my friends told me that I'm just an intimidating guy to approach, but I don't get that either. I know I'm not the sexiest man in the world, but I consider myself to be pretty good looking, a lot of my female friends tell me that I'm that "tall, dark, and handsome" type. But, then they start telling me to change. They tell me that if I shaved my beard, and that if I didn't wear death metal t-shirts, girls would be more attracted to me. Well, sorry, but I'm a metal head, I'm not just going to get rid of my beard (which is well kept, and not long by any means) and stop wearing shirts of the bands that I like...

 

It's starting to get to me though. I really wish I was able to just go to the mall and strike up a conversation with a random woman, but I've kind of come to the conclusion that having been hurt in my past relationship, that I'm more untrusting then I used to be, and feel that if I get approached by the women first, there's a better chance of things working out.

 

Any advice, tips, or stories would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks!