Active_979 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 So, long story short, my wife and I were together for three years (unmarried at the time). She moved several states away because we weren't getting along (she decided to cheat with three different people and she couldn't live with the fact that I always brought it up), but kept coming home about once a month. We still saw each other and had sex when she came back. About a year in, I finally asked her to move back and she refused to do so. I told her that I could no longer see her at that time, that it was killing me because I was so attached and she did not want me. We did not talk for two months, she called me up one night and told me she was pregnant. I, of course, asked whose it was; she told me it was mine. Had a paternity test done, she was indeed mine. We began to date again. She ended up moving back and we eventually got married. We started having problems again. I got us into marriage counseling and we had gone a few times. Eventually, one night, I saw her phone start to light up. She got a phone call from someone and hung up on them. I had glanced up and seen the name and recognized it as someone that she had admitted to sleeping with in the past. I asked her who it was, she told me that she didn't recognize the number, even though the name was programmed into her phone. I confronted her that I had seen the name and she admitted to sleeping with him two times. We continued to go to counseling, she finally said she was done going to counseling one day. I stuck around but things continued to get bad. She would leave her daughter with me and say she was going shopping. She would end up at bars and hang out with her friends. Alot of times, I would have to wake our two year old and go into town to drive her home because she had too much to drink. I eventually filed for divorce. Things got ugly for about 3 months. We are still in the process of a divorce. About 3 days ago she started being nice. She told me to come over tonight. One thing led to another and we started making out. Then, she tells me, "I can't do it, things aren't the same." I'd be okay with that but she has been so adamant about hanging out. flirty texts and everything else. I just want to know what you guys think about this situation. Is she playing with my head? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 First of all it is easier to read your posts if you break them into paragraphs. Secondly, yes. She wants to keep you on the string just in case her other options don't pan out. Link to post Share on other sites
andyg99 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I just want to know what you guys think about this situation. Is she playing with my head? yes, she is playing with you big time... sounds like she has serious issues that only long-term therapy can solve... your daughter should be priority #1, you need to stop letting her play games with you and get custody of that child... time to man-up and get serious... Link to post Share on other sites
ver13 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 IMO you need to look at this from her point of view which is focused soley on her. Look as long as you keep letting her lead you around by the nose she will continue to do it. You said that she continued to do her own thing even after she moved back in and that she didn't want to go to couples counseling anymore. Then she asked you to come over and as soon as the intimacy starts come into the picture she rejects you. You might need to focus on what is best for you and your daughter. Your W is not going to change what she is doing unless she truly wants too. So let her go and do whatever she needs to do and you do what is right for you and the baby. Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 So, long story short, my wife and I were together for three years (unmarried at the time). She moved several states away because we weren't getting along (she decided to cheat with three different people and she couldn't live with the fact that I always brought it up), but kept coming home about once a month. We still saw each other and had sex when she came back. About a year in, I finally asked her to move back and she refused to do so. I told her that I could no longer see her at that time, that it was killing me because I was so attached and she did not want me. We did not talk for two months, she called me up one night and told me she was pregnant. I, of course, asked whose it was; she told me it was mine. Had a paternity test done, she was indeed mine. We began to date again. She ended up moving back and we eventually got married. We started having problems again. I got us into marriage counseling and we had gone a few times. Eventually, one night, I saw her phone start to light up. She got a phone call from someone and hung up on them. I had glanced up and seen the name and recognized it as someone that she had admitted to sleeping with in the past. I asked her who it was, she told me that she didn't recognize the number, even though the name was programmed into her phone. I confronted her that I had seen the name and she admitted to sleeping with him two times. We continued to go to counseling, she finally said she was done going to counseling one day. I stuck around but things continued to get bad. She would leave her daughter with me and say she was going shopping. She would end up at bars and hang out with her friends. Alot of times, I would have to wake our two year old and go into town to drive her home because she had too much to drink. I eventually filed for divorce. Things got ugly for about 3 months. We are still in the process of a divorce. About 3 days ago she started being nice. She told me to come over tonight. One thing led to another and we started making out. Then, she tells me, "I can't do it, things aren't the same." I'd be okay with that but she has been so adamant about hanging out. flirty texts and everything else. I just want to know what you guys think about this situation. Is she playing with my head? She's a wh*re and your self-esteem is so low that you will stick to her like glue. See a professional and really get into the nitty gritty of why you feel the way you do about yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Calif_hope Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Your the BREAD...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Active_979 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 yeah, it seems to me that every time I start to get to a place where I'm feeling good about being separated, she pulls me back in. I am finding it hard to set up boundaries and stick to them. I know what needs to be done and I know that my self esteem is low right now. I figure that over time it will get better. It is just going to be a matter of getting over the hump. I have a great time with my daughter when we are together and I don't think about my W. Its the days when I don't have her that seem the hardest. Makes me think about all of the things that led up to this point. I am trying to move on, I just hope that it all gets easier to deal with when more time has passed. Most people I've spoken with say that it takes a year to move on. That seems so far away. Thank you all for your input. Link to post Share on other sites
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