kgal Posted April 27, 2004 Share Posted April 27, 2004 Well............it's been 3mos. and a few days now....that my ex and I broke up. It's still hard at times....and I'll hear a song that brings back memories...but I hold back the tears...and I feel a surge of strength rush over me whenever those scars try to fade back in my life. I'm still missing him...more than ever...and I love him. I mean....I know we can't be more....but that thought of maybe one day.....maybe...is still lurking around. I know I have to just still take it one day at a time...and I have met some nice ppl...its just I don't feel I can give my heart to anyone right now....in the way I gave my heart to him. I'm feeling renewed...yet like I'm changing as a person....I don't know what's happening....it's like I'm in my molding stage right now....and God is doing something in my life that I'm a bit excited about. I'm not looking back...but I do miss him by my side. Just wanted to get that out. Link to post Share on other sites
LILUIL Posted May 7, 2004 Share Posted May 7, 2004 Hang in there girl! Have faith! It will all turn out well. All things happen for a good reason whether we recognize it immediately or we take years to see clearly. It sounds like you understand your own feelings well and now you just need to find ways and means to deal with it. You are not together anymore for a reason, whatever it may be. Whatever the cause, or puspose that was logical at that time for the separation to happen, perhaps it just contributes to a bigger purpose. Try to see the big picture. It's easy to say let go and move on, but it's tough to do. We've all been there. Be strong!!!! You deserve only the best in life and you will get the best for you... "Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgement that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are travelling the road between who you are and who you can be. The key is to allow yourself to make the journey" Quoting Meg Cabbot from the Princess Diaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgal Posted May 7, 2004 Author Share Posted May 7, 2004 TY...that's good advice. It makes sense. I appreciate your response. Link to post Share on other sites
thehappyclam Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 hehe it's been almost 8 months and i still think about her from time to time.....you probably won't stop thinking about your ex, but eventually even when you do think about him/her it doesn't hurt....and when you find someone new it'll hurt even less...so you've got 3 months down...good job!!! Link to post Share on other sites
LILUIL Posted May 8, 2004 Share Posted May 8, 2004 When in love we all "believe" that the guy we are with or just broken up with is THE human incarnation of Zeus, Neptune, Hercules... whatever all in ONE. We women are such lovey dovey creatures, with so much devotion and love to give, we give till it hurts and even when it sucks we go on loving..... that's what makes us beautiful to men i guess. You men out there feel free to object.... hehehe You need to have fun. Meet some new guys...... hey anyone got the statistics to how many single eligible bachelors are out there today? Dare not claim millions, let's says tens of thousands. No need to rush take your own sweet time and start a mini collection of "cute guys caricatures" or something. Laughter is the best medicine... and its FREE!!!!! I was just starting college when I broke up with my first love, he was someone I grew up and fell in love with. When I knew it was over, I had a mini "funeral" ceremony, you know, like burning all his photos, letters, cards, etc..... now its almost 10 years and I can sit and laugh at myself for a few hours when I think back. So silly! When we come out of something, anything, we always come out smarter, wiser and more ready for the next. We tread with caution and we read signals better. We grow from our experiences. Cheer up sweetie! Flash that sweet smile at the next cute guy that walks past you.... for the fun of it! Hehe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgal Posted May 8, 2004 Author Share Posted May 8, 2004 Thankyou, SH2...your posts really have helped. Last night we had kindof got into it online....me telling him how I felt...only made him mad. I couldn't understand why he was mad...since I was just being honest about how I still miss him and I guess still love him. I hate when we fight...I feel so bothered that things aren't worked out and I pray he sees the light and doesn't hold a grudge against me. It made me wonder..what kind of guy is this ...it really made me see a side of him that I never thought existed. It was more like talking to a monster than it was him. He wasn't feeling well..and it was late..so I guess that was one reason he was cranky..but still. He didn't even apologize..I was the one doing that...I just did it to make peace..but it was like he didn't accept it and it just hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted May 9, 2004 Share Posted May 9, 2004 hmmm...ya it used to be the same way with me and my ex. He does apologize later and he said he din like to hear such things becasue it made him feel bad. Seeing the ugly side of him is the not the worst thing, the worst is that even after that you still love him anyway. I think you better try to refrain from saying such things because it may just make him too scared to talk to u on the phone again in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgal Posted May 9, 2004 Author Share Posted May 9, 2004 Originally posted by shellen hmmm...ya it used to be the same way with me and my ex. He does apologize later and he said he din like to hear such things becasue it made him feel bad. Seeing the ugly side of him is the not the worst thing, the worst is that even after that you still love him anyway. I think you better try to refrain from saying such things because it may just make him too scared to talk to u on the phone again in the future. Well...I really was to the point where I didn't care how he'd react.....cuz I had been holding it in for the longest time...and I actually felt sooo much better after telling him. He needed to know how I felt...and with him knowing.....at least I have found the peace of mind now to try and deal with this. I feel better altogether...and I know that it just wasn't fair hearing his side and he not hearing mine. He's not scared to talk to me...he's known me for 8 years and we actually talked a bit last night. He seemed a little more stand-offish..but he was probably just like me....cautious not to get into it again. I think things will eventually get better between us from now on. We just had a heated argument...and he's not feeling well anyways...so I'll just give him some space. He'll cool off - and I feel I have calmed down and know that I don't have to bring it up....at least I don't feel any reason to at this time....we just have different points of view over our breaking up...and neither one of us want to hear how the other feels. So...it's really just a matter of us both coming to a mutual agreement on friendship...and being able to stick to that. I admit...it's been hard...but it's better than losing him altogether. And yes...even after he got all pissed at me...I still loved him....but it's unconditional love...and I think I'm always gonna love him....as a caring friend. Thanks for your reply Shellen. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 its been 3 months for me too...but im taking it one day at a time...ive talked to him maybe one time on the internet..and he told me that i shouldnt push the fact that we arent together..and how much i think this sucks..what does it mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgal Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 Originally posted by meanttolive4ever its been 3 months for me too...but im taking it one day at a time...ive talked to him maybe one time on the internet..and he told me that i shouldnt push the fact that we arent together..and how much i think this sucks..what does it mean? I don't know...TO ME....I have every right to express how much it sucks. I mean...cuz it TOTALLY sucks. I miss him soo much..and I want to be with him....but then it's like...when I say that...he gets all mad. I guess maybe cuz he has a problem with getting back together. That's what I've assumed by how he acts...and then I'll get mad if he doesn't feel the same back. Ugh....that's why I'm just "forgetting it" for a while...I dont wanna fight..it just exhausts me! Not worth it at all! (breath) Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 n then he told my friends boyfriend that the more im around him the less he wants me....hmmm...guys are weird Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgal Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 Originally posted by meanttolive4ever n then he told my friends boyfriend that the more im around him the less he wants me....hmmm...guys are weird Well..then..yea...give em space. I'm tryin to do the same w/my ex.....cuz I dont want him to get annoyed. Yea...what is up w/men??? LOL Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Originally posted by kgal Well..then..yea...give em space. I'm tryin to do the same w/my ex.....cuz I dont want him to get annoyed. Yea...what is up w/men??? LOL lol i duno...but its starting to annoy me...but he came up to my work like a month ago and was flirting with me n sticking his tongue out at me n laughing and everything...i duno whats up with him.im trying to give him all the space he needs. Link to post Share on other sites
shellen Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 ive chosen to give up the friendship, for now at least. It seems that fate has paved this way for me. He could not get me on the phone when he wanted to inform me that he was leaving the country because I was having exams. And I left the country before he returned and my mobile did not work there. On the very day I returned his mobile spoilt. So I did not have contact with him for two weeks.And when I finally met him online three days ago I told him goodbye.He din want to and refused to say goodbye to me when i wanted to log off. He said he will only say see you later. I din quite know how to end the conversation. So after much deliberation, I told him to have faith in the decision he made which was to continue with his current gf because he told me he was still not sure if dat was the right decision. And basically told him to take care and all that. He din respond so I reckon he must have logged off. I could not tell if he was still online because he was no longer on my contact list. So that's how it has been. Now it's almost three weeks since when we were still texting each other regularly. I dunno if we will ever be friends again but I do know he has betrayed my love for him and it hurts to know he is with someone else.So I guess this is the best way for me now. To me, if after one year breaking up with someone you are still having doubts if u made the right choice, then perhaps you have really made the wrong decision, but to him despite his uncertainties, he is not planning to do anything about it. So he is either jus faking it or he has no guts, but either way I still have to get out of it.... Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 hmm im still waiting for an apology....seriously its making me mad Link to post Share on other sites
sinkerswim Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Hi KGal.. I am also 3 months without my ex fiance... Sometimes I feel like I am doing better...but I NEVER stop missing him..I think about all our memories. Some days I cry all day... Im on 3 medications and seeing a therapist over this. We are allowed to grieve for them. Hang in there...thats what Im trying to do. I guess we are becoming stronger people. Doesnt feel like it for me...but I guess its true. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Originally posted by sinkerswim Hi KGal.. I am also 3 months without my ex fiance... Sometimes I feel like I am doing better...but I NEVER stop missing him..I think about all our memories. Some days I cry all day... Im on 3 medications and seeing a therapist over this. We are allowed to grieve for them. Hang in there...thats what Im trying to do. I guess we are becoming stronger people. Doesnt feel like it for me...but I guess its true. yes thats the spirit! it only makes you stronger Link to post Share on other sites
browneyes Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Originally posted by sinkerswim Hi KGal.. I am also 3 months without my ex fiance... Sometimes I feel like I am doing better...but I NEVER stop missing him..I think about all our memories. Some days I cry all day... Im on 3 medications and seeing a therapist over this. We are allowed to grieve for them. Hang in there...thats what Im trying to do. I guess we are becoming stronger people. Doesnt feel like it for me...but I guess its true. I understand what you must be feeling and I will tell you from expierence that it does fade and your heart will heal. It took me a year to finally realize that I would be okay and that life does go on. Maybe that wasn't the path that you are supposed to follow, maybe life has a different path in mind. All you have to do is try to be strong and express your feelings, because talking about it makes a whole lot of a difference. There are some many people in this world that one day you will find that one who sweeps you off your feet and you will never look back I believe that your first real love is not the one that your supposed to be with it's a stepping stone for what is in store later down the road in life A friend once told me that if he/she love you that much why would they make you cry? Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by browneyes I understand what you must be feeling and I will tell you from expierence that it does fade and your heart will heal. It took me a year to finally realize that I would be okay and that life does go on. Maybe that wasn't the path that you are supposed to follow, maybe life has a different path in mind. All you have to do is try to be strong and express your feelings, because talking about it makes a whole lot of a difference. There are some many people in this world that one day you will find that one who sweeps you off your feet and you will never look back I believe that your first real love is not the one that your supposed to be with it's a stepping stone for what is in store later down the road in life A friend once told me that if he/she love you that much why would they make you cry? i heard that...the only one who can make you stop crying is the one who makes you cry Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyann Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 I wish that there was a simple solution to heart ache/break. The only real factor is time. It is the only true thing that will heal all. My ex and I dated for 5 years. We "just stopped" seeing one another. This was after he proposed to me two times. We have been friends for 8 years. A year ago he got married to a girl that he dated for four months. I found out on the day of my graduation from college, on my way to celebrate my accomplishment. I have gotten over the heartache of him finding someone else, but the complete ache never has gone away. He has been deployed to Iraq and called the night of his deployment at 11:30 at night. This is after trying 3 times to get a hold of me. I still contact his family to know about his well being. I do not want to loose him out of my life. However, time is going to give us the friendship back that we once had. I only found out about two weeks ago that he missed this as well. He called me from Iraq to let me know how he was doing. The both of us would like to keep contact with each other, since we have been there for almost a decade. I do not want you to think he is wrong for calling me because of his wife, she is with him. I hope that hearing this it will ease your heart. Do not try to be friends with him now, give him time. It might take him a while. He might still love you and it is difficult to be around you and talk to you. Sometimes it is harder to breakup with a person than to be with them. Give it time. Don't tell him how you feel. He knows..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kgal Posted May 12, 2004 Author Share Posted May 12, 2004 LOL....is there a lonely heartsclub??? I need to join..... cuz it's so hard...gettin over my first true love. I love him soo much....and ...its just so painful to think in a different light. We talk almost every night now...online.....and each time I say goodbye.....I die a little....like the song goes..... I just pray a miracle happens...so we can be together....or that my REAL husband comes soon. I miss my ex (my friend) so much. Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted May 12, 2004 Share Posted May 12, 2004 Originally posted by kgal LOL....is there a lonely heartsclub??? I need to join..... cuz it's so hard...gettin over my first true love. I love him soo much....and ...its just so painful to think in a different light. We talk almost every night now...online.....and each time I say goodbye.....I die a little....like the song goes..... I just pray a miracle happens...so we can be together....or that my REAL husband comes soon. I miss my ex (my friend) so much. i should join too...i dont talk to my ex online anymore..i talked to him one time and that was it. Link to post Share on other sites
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