kenny13 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost a year. she met this guys at school who she thought just wanted to be her friend. after hearing a couple of her stories about him when i would ask how her day was, it was very clear that this guy wanted a lot more than just friendship with her so i said to her "this guys hitting on you" " he just trying to get in your pants" etc. and she got really pissed off at me and was saying things like "why cant i have guy friends?" "this is ridiculous" so on and so forth. earlier today she just told me earlier today that about 2 weeks ago he kissed her. she said she was in the hallway and he just walked up to her and kissed her then she pushed him away. i don't know what to do at this point. i love her and I've sacrificed a lot for her. i dont know what to believe anymore. for all i know she could of very much welcomed his kiss. i want to believe her but im just so overwhelmed and angry. please help. any advice would greatly help right now Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Hey Kenny-----what you need to do, is get out of this relationship, and stay out of all relationship's until you are at least 26 or 27----go out sow your wild oats, date, have a good time---and forget all this heavy dating crap----you have a long life ahead of you---now is the time to have fun---who cares who your GF kissed and why-------go enjoy life, and be free Link to post Share on other sites
flyaway Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 completely disagree with the above poster. my bf and i are in our early 20s and haven't had any of these problems. neither of us wants to go out and f--- every other person alive and go out and party our brains out. some people are ready for serious relationships, others aren't. regardless of age. i think your gf prob wanted to be kissed and didn't stop it. she shouldn't be hanging out with guys who hit on her. big difference between friends and flirting and hitting on someone else. she was in the wrong here. she needs to stop all contact with this guy if youre ever to get her trust back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kenny13 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 shes completly cutting off all ties with him Link to post Share on other sites
flyaway Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 good, she should. this was a major breach of trust. never believe the whole "he kissed me and i didn't want it". that's bs. she prob wanted it. no one is going to let a kiss happen liek that when they dont want it. you have to get awfully close in person first and thats just inappropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Believe me girls DO know when someone is hitting on them. She loved the attention and maybe was teasing him a bit by leading him on. He would never have tried to kiss her if she hadn't been encouraging him or at least giving him the right signals. Put yourself in his position, would you try that? But her actions since he kissed her, cutting off contact is a good sign. Did she do this voluntarily or did you make her do it? If it's voluntary then I would be inclined to believe her story but with the proviso that it never happens again. She can't use the "I didn't know he was hitting on me" excuse next time, she's played that card already. She should have learned from the experience, and if not, let her go. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 good, she should. this was a major breach of trust. never believe the whole "he kissed me and i didn't want it". that's bs. she prob wanted it. no one is going to let a kiss happen liek that when they dont want it. you have to get awfully close in person first and thats just inappropriate. I agree with Flyaway. What she's doing is called damage control. She told you about it and downplayed it as much as possible before you heard it from someone else. Something happened to put her in a position for this guy to make a move. No guy just walks right up to a girl and kisses her, that's sexual assault. Perphaps she was flirting with him and he took that flirtation as an open invitation to make a move. Point is, I don't think you're getting the whole story. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelemort Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 I agree that she invited this - unless he's a VERY ballsy guy, she's been flirting with him or otherwise inviting this interaction somehow. Then, when he gave her what she "didn't want," she pushed him away after - she gets what she wants, but she also gets to look like a devoted, hard-done-by faithful girlfriend by pushing him away AFTER the fact. Flirting can be more difficult to detect. I was in something of a similar situation (NEVER culminated in physical affection), but I had a co-worker who was dating a woman and he always made flirty jokes toward me. I figured it was just his personality - considering he was seeing someone. After she died, it escalated. But I was so dense or my self-esteem was so low that even when I THOUGHT it might be flirtatious in nature, I'd doubt my judgment and err on the side of caution not to make a wave. Finally it got very obvious when he was calling/texting every week bringing up my relationship status. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 I don't know, maybe she is just that naive. She thought she could have guy friends and when Kenny pushed she got defensive and hardened in it. And this is what can happen. She seems to be remorseful and is cutting this guy off. Perhaps she's learned from this and will change. That's Kenny's choice to make. I see no reason to think she was teasing cock in her circle of guy friends. Guys see what they want and this one may have just made his move. I don't know, I wasn't there. Link to post Share on other sites
Woman In Blue Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Why is everyone acting as though the girlfriend is some kind of cheating liar? She didn't have to tell Kenny at ALL that the guy kissed her. He wouldn't have known if she didn't TELL him. So how is it "damage control" that's she trying do, and all that other over-the-top nonsense that everyone is claiming? Jeez, talk about infusing more drama into a situation than is necessary. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 (edited) OP seems to be gone. If not, then I agree she was fishing for attention from other guy. And manipulated OP with "can't I have friends?" line. I absolutely don't buy she was naive enough to believe that guy didn't want her - otherwise I have a bridge to sell you. And stay alert - she may officially cut off contact with him, but in reality she may just make herself more covert, not to piss you off and just to keep you for stringing along. She sounds immature enough to me, not to bother. But to each their own, I guess... Edited August 14, 2011 by rafallus Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Why is everyone acting as though the girlfriend is some kind of cheating liar? She didn't have to tell Kenny at ALL that the guy kissed her. He wouldn't have known if she didn't TELL him. So how is it "damage control" that's she trying do, and all that other over-the-top nonsense that everyone is claiming? Jeez, talk about infusing more drama into a situation than is necessary. WHy? Because shes a horrible liar, its so obvious. Because she isnt ready to dump him yet, she hasnt figured out who she wants to dump him for. But its not this guy, so she has to confess that "this guy kissed her" before other people tell him what happened. She has to downplay it to keep from getting dumped by him. Kenny, dump her NOW. When stuff like this happens, she is shopping for someone new, but not giving you a clue. Watch her behavior, she might be getting more distant. She flirted with this guy and he made a move. If you dont, she will dump you later, and you will see her at school with the guy she dumped you for. Do it now and save yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Ginger Beer Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 me and my girlfriend have been going out for almost a year. she met this guys at school who she thought just wanted to be her friend. after hearing a couple of her stories about him when i would ask how her day was, it was very clear that this guy wanted a lot more than just friendship with her so i said to her "this guys hitting on you" " he just trying to get in your pants" etc. and she got really pissed off at me and was saying things like "why cant i have guy friends?" "this is ridiculous" so on and so forth. earlier today she just told me earlier today that about 2 weeks ago he kissed her. she said she was in the hallway and he just walked up to her and kissed her then she pushed him away. i don't know what to do at this point. i love her and I've sacrificed a lot for her. i dont know what to believe anymore. for all i know she could of very much welcomed his kiss. i want to believe her but im just so overwhelmed and angry. please help. any advice would greatly help right now Why did she only tell you today if it happened two weeks ago? Sounds like she wanted it/encouraged it and when it happened the guilt made her confess. Pushing him away sounds like damage limitation too. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 completely disagree with the above poster. my bf and i are in our early 20s and haven't had any of these problems. neither of us wants to go out and f--- every other person alive and go out and party our brains out. some people are ready for serious relationships, others aren't. regardless of age. i think your gf prob wanted to be kissed and didn't stop it. she shouldn't be hanging out with guys who hit on her. big difference between friends and flirting and hitting on someone else. she was in the wrong here. she needs to stop all contact with this guy if youre ever to get her trust back. I mostly agree with what you're saying but he needs to leave her. Link to post Share on other sites
John Michael Kane Posted August 14, 2011 Share Posted August 14, 2011 Why did she only tell you today if it happened two weeks ago? Sounds like she wanted it/encouraged it and when it happened the guilt made her confess. Pushing him away sounds like damage limitation too. Yessir. She tried to cover her arse. She's not really remorseful for what she's done. Link to post Share on other sites
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