not gettin' any?

[Dr.Jeckle...]

Hey there. Should I be concerend if the guy I'm seeing's friends tell him that, he's "too nice" and "that's why he's not getting any?" It's make me mad when his friends say stupid stuff and it does have an inpact on him, I can tell. What do I do? He's a sweet guy when were alone (typical, I know) but around his friends he doesn't show me any affection. Do I dump him? I've mentioned this to him before but there's no change at all. Please help.

[billy the kid]

Doc, I have been to nice in past and have not gotten any either, but this guy sounds like a jerk, esp. if he only shows you affection when your alone. Personally I would find someone new, since you have discussed it with him and there is no change.. I know how you feel guys my ex worked with use to make little remarks to her and in the evenings I paid for them.....

Hey there. Should I be concerend if the guy I'm seeing's friends tell him that, he's "too nice" and "that's why he's not getting any?" It's make me mad when his friends say stupid stuff and it does have an inpact on him, I can tell. What do I do? He's a sweet guy when were alone (typical, I know) but around his friends he doesn't show me any affection. Do I dump him? I've mentioned this to him before but there's no change at all. Please help.

[Tony T]

I have read your post four times and don't fully understand it.

 

First, you have no control over what his friends tell him. Why would they tell him stupid stuff like this, anyway??? I do not understand. Ask his friends to clarify what they are saying. What is it that they are sure he is not getting???

 

You boyfriend has no power over what his friends say.

 

When he's around his friends, he doesn't show you affection. I think a lot of people are like that. They are a bit shy and are very affectionate in private with their honey but prefer to keep the displays out of public view. I understand and respect that. This shouldn't trouble you as long as you get sufficient loving when you are alone with him.

 

As I read it, I seem to get the impression that his friends are at the root of all your problems with your guy. If his friends are very important to him and they do not have enough respect for his relationship with you to modify their comments and behavior, ditch him. It would not be right to ask him to drop his friends. My guess, though, is that in time he will have to pick some new friends anyway. They sound mentally and culturally challenged to me.

 

If what his friends say has an impact on him, as you say, and he continues to hang around them, your boyfriend may be mentally deficient in some ways as well. Have him get himself checked out.

 

Is it really necessary for the two of you so spend so much time around his classless friends? You should never stay in a relationship where things that happen make you uncomfortable very often and you fear each time you see him that he will want to take you to be with these dumb friends.

 

I can't wait to hear what they say he's not getting any of!!!