MrNate Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Well said, carhill! I have talked a bit here about how I am experimenting with my bitchy side. For my entire life up until very recently, I've been a positive, sweet-hearted, loving person. In some ways, "the nice girl". I don't take crap from anybody -- at all -- but I do give people the benefit of the doubt, see the good in everyone, and believe in people's potential. And I work very hard not to dump my emotional reactions on other people and manipulate them, but to be strong and be in charge of my own emotional well-being. But what I am worried about lately is that it seems that people really are rewarded for being selfish and manipulative. My initial tests have absolutely astonished me. Essentially, when I behave in a more selfish, bitchy way, most people reward me with more attention and better service. They soften their language and start apologizing. They look at me with curiosity and what appears to be admiration! Are people really so easily manipulated and weak? It seems to me that the friends of mine in relationships who are the most bitchy and manipulative are rewarded the most -- with loyalty, acts of service, good treatment from their partners. This is what first got me thinking about all this. So I feel like I'm at a point where I understand that this is the way it is, but I am struggling with it ethically. I feel like if I don't play the game, I'll suffer. But if I do, then I'm going to "the dark side". Not sure how much this relates to the topic, but your post brought it out. Come to the dark side with me, Ruby. Link to post Share on other sites
rafallus Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) My initial tests have absolutely astonished me. Essentially, when I behave in a more selfish, bitchy way, most people reward me with more attention and better service. They soften their language and start apologizing. They look at me with curiosity and what appears to be admiration! Are people really so easily manipulated and weak?Doormats, yes. You're also guaranteed to put certain people off for good with that attitude. And I do have a feeling you may consider those put off as better catches than those you attract with that kind of attitude. Oddly enough though, even in my absolute doormat days, bitchiness was putting me off and I was generally maneuvering around such people, not to run into them if possible, which often infuriated them even more. Edited August 4, 2011 by rafallus Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Too many posts to read, however my experience is the women that are just a few tics below hot seem to act more entitled than the really hot women. Ya know, the woman most guys go for because they think the hot one is out of their league. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 There's lots of truth to this also. The wealthiest people tend to drive junkers because they have nothing to prove and no one to impress. It's the insecure folks on the lower rungs who flaunt cars, possessions and attitude. This is so true. I have met so many people around here who you would think were blue collar folks because of the way they dress and carry themselves but then they take me to their houses on the bay or the beach and my jaw drops. Really attractive women tend to be the same way. I know some women who are perfect tens and don't even realize it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 (edited) There's lots of truth to this also. The wealthiest people tend to drive junkers because they have nothing to prove and no one to impress. It's the insecure folks on the lower rungs who flaunt cars, possessions and attitude. Richest man in the world. http://jalopnik.com/341374/bill-gates-drives-a-ford-focus-2+door Who knew? It's like rafallus said really truly hot women are generally not bitchy and manipulative*. Compare these two women. Halle Berry, from everything I have heard has been a stone cold bitch in relationships. She's had many of them. She's pretty darn hot too, a 9.5 ish. It is Said of how she treated her last man: “Halle called him a loser,” a source told Us Weekly magazine. “She’d rub it in his face that she’s an Oscar-winning actress and he’s just a model. He couldn’t take it anymore.” Adriana Lima, the Victoria's Secret supermodel, claims to have been a virgin until she got married a couple years ago. She says that men don't approach her because of how she looks. She would have to be a 10.00 or a 9.99999. *People may be nicer to them because they look good, which if they are not bitchy only makes people want to be nicer to them even more. Edited August 4, 2011 by Mrlonelyone Link to post Share on other sites
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 QUESTION TO OP, I understand the customer service aspect. A few years ago I posted a topic (under a different user name) about how disrespected I felt about a cashier greeting the man in front of me SIR but not addressing me by a title. I look young for my age so people don't take me seriously even if I wear a suit. I always expect customer service and sales people to treat me with the utmost respect and if I feel offended in any way I feel complain. Now my question to you is: Would you be EQUALLY upset if the cashier was a MALE? If he was a male and didn't smile and wasn't friendly would you still be as upset? Why or why not? IF you would be equally upset if it were a male cashier then I fully agree with you in every way. However, if you have higher expectation of her because she is an attractive female, then I have a problem with that. If it is a "Service Industry" issue then you should be equally angry no matter who is rude to you, even if it is a guy or a geriatric senior citizen. My point exactly. Alot of people have double standards regarding men and women's behavior in many situations. Professional... even aggressive behavior from a man would be considered 'cold' or 'bitchy' in a woman, because they are expecting ingratiating, syrup sweet behavior from a woman. I just told my 24 yr old tenant that I'm not his mommy after being subjected to a non-stop tirade about how big a bitch I am for kindly asking him to help take out the trash. I've never once been called a bitch by anyone.. not even my ex-husband. This new generation seems to be very entitled in general. Both men and women. Link to post Share on other sites
WhyWontYouBe Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Too many posts to read, however my experience is the women that are just a few tics below hot seem to act more entitled than the really hot women. Ya know, the woman most guys go for because they think the hot one is out of their league. Haha, same, way to many, and I quite agree with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Easyguy14 Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 QUESTION TO OP, I understand the customer service aspect. A few years ago I posted a topic (under a different user name) about how disrespected I felt about a cashier greeting the man in front of me SIR but not addressing me by a title. I look young for my age so people don't take me seriously even if I wear a suit. I always expect customer service and sales people to treat me with the utmost respect and if I feel offended in any way I feel complain. Now my question to you is: Would you be EQUALLY upset if the cashier was a MALE? If he was a male and didn't smile and wasn't friendly would you still be as upset? Why or why not? IF you would be equally upset if it were a male cashier then I fully agree with you in every way. However, if you have higher expectation of her because she is an attractive female, then I have a problem with that. If it is a "Service Industry" issue then you should be equally angry no matter who is rude to you, even if it is a guy or a geriatric senior citizen. Im guessing you didn't go through all the threads where I posted that no matter male or female, I want equally polite customer service whenever I make a purchase, especially if Im a regular shopper at that business, but it seems that most people working in these places forget that part. Link to post Share on other sites
YeahDotDotDot Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Customer service has always been an extremely taxing profession. So, if you can imagine your frustration with people walking the street, imagine what she must experience on a regular basis-pretty or not. If you have the personality and a passion for it from the beginning, not so bad, but if you're doing it because you don't see/have any other options...cancer to your soul. Link to post Share on other sites
ThsAmericanLife Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Customer service has always been an extremely taxing profession. So, if you can imagine your frustration with people walking the street, imagine what she must experience on a regular basis-pretty or not. If you have the personality and a passion for it from the beginning, not so bad, but if you're doing it because you don't see/have any other options...cancer to your soul. yep... and I admire your ability to put yourself in their shoes. Well done! Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 Can we please stop with this vaginaphobia?? For the love of god... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Easyguy14 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Share Posted August 7, 2011 Can we please stop with this vaginaphobia?? For the love of god... dont get this sarcastic remark at all ? Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 There's lots of truth to this also. The wealthiest people tend to drive junkers because they have nothing to prove and no one to impress. It's the insecure folks on the lower rungs who flaunt cars, possessions and attitude. That's not really true--at least true only in a few cases. If you were to take a survey of the very rich, you would find that they certainly have the big houses, the nice cars, go on the fantastic vacations, wear the expensive clothes, etc. While there are some that have great wealth and live a modest lifestyle, those are the exception to the rule, and not the norm. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 That's not really true--at least true only in a few cases. If you were to take a survey of the very rich, you would find that they certainly have the big houses, the nice cars, go on the fantastic vacations, wear the expensive clothes, etc. While there are some that have great wealth and live a modest lifestyle, those are the exception to the rule, and not the norm. Yes and no. There are many lavish multimillionaires and billionaires in the major cities that include celebs, sports figures, business, and law figures. However, the lavish lifestyles for some mean a lot of money coming in and going out. Thus, they have a low net worth. The average millionaire is a professional or small business owner with a nice (usually older) house in a decent neighborhood and often drives an average car (ford, toyota, etc) and not the BMW or Mercedes you may expect. This is profiled in the 'Millionaire Next Door' series by Thomas J Stanley. A million dollars isn't what it used to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 The celebrities are flashy but I know people who own a ton of real estate or businesses out here and you would never know how rich they actually are. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 The celebrities are flashy but I know people who own a ton of real estate or businesses out here and you would never know how rich they actually are. Financial security and the means to do what you want is a very good thing but status pretty much means nothing. Who exactly are you trying to impress and why are they worth impressing anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 A million dollars isn't what it used to be. And it's worth less everyday. Buy precious metals and real estate. They will never be worthless. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 And it's worth less everyday. Buy precious metals and real estate. They will never be worthless. Precious metals are worth what one will pay for them just like anything else. Real estate won't fully rebound for another decade. Even gov't treasuries are at risk with these debt default issues. The best plan is to keep informed, diversify your investments, and don't overextend yourself in any area. Link to post Share on other sites
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