Strong women: a turn-off or a turn-on?

[FitChick]

Men like different sorts of women. It's silly to ask because if they all said the opposite of your personality, would you totally change who you were? You'd be living a lie. Find someone who likes who YOU are.

[Anxiety]

I'm sure everyone's definition of a "strong" woman is different. My definition of a "strong" woman is one who has an "in your face" personally, who shows a tendency of being controlling and has a quick temper.

 

Using my definition, then no, I don't like strong women. Been there, done that and it wasn't pleasant.

[D-Lish]

I don't personally think D-Lish's scenario - confrontation - has anything to do with being strong or not. I think many of us misinterpret being confrontational as being strong, and being avoidant as weak. But really, sometimes people avoid confrontation not because they are scared of the opponent, but simply because they feel he/she is not worthy of anything except being ignored.

 

For example, if a stranger came up to my face and insulted me, I would ignore him. Does that make me weak? I don't think so. People like those teens, who are purposefully rude to strangers, are most often doing it to get a rise out of them. Being confrontational is only playing into their hands.

 

It makes your style of handling situations different than mine.

I see my ability to be able to confront things that aren't okay as a personal strength.

 

You on the other hand may see your restraint as patience as a strength you are proud of.

 

I doubt too many people would have deemed these situations as something to ignore. They weren't being antagonistic at all- they were being incredibly ignorant. Like most teens they were oblivious that their behaviour was super inappropriate. I also pick and choose my battles- those two I deemed worthy of addressing. If some drunk kids were bumping into your table, so your beer glass was spilling onto the table and your plates were getting knocked about while they pile their empties in the middle of your dinner table... You wouldn't be bothered by that?

[carhill]

I'm sure everyone's definition of a "strong" woman is different.

That's a good point. I'll offer my 'definition' of a strong woman:

 

Out in the world: Self-reliant. Chooses associations and offers a balance of give and take. Generous and supportive of others. Doesn't 'need' a man yet loves men and enjoys them. Assertive and fair. If you (a man) are in a jam or are facing a life challenge and she's your partner, she's right there standing next to you to face it. Appears feminine and acts feminine assertively. Respectful and not submissive.

 

In the bedroom: Owns her libido and shares her desires clearly and openly. Unafraid to submit and subordinate as well as control and dominate as part of intimacy and lovemaking.

 

ETA, for purposes of 'feminine' in this context, it is a woman who is completely aware and unashamed of her female beauty, poise and grace and puts it out there openly. No apologies, no minimization. She owns it and values it and such is self-evident.

 

Further, a strong woman can be candid about her weaknesses.

as an admittedly strong woman, Lauren Bacall, at the advanced age of ~85, talks about hers. Also, watch her strongly feminine mannerisms, from her expressions to gestures to voice cadence. One example from my perspective. Edited August 2, 2011 by carhill

[Woggle]

I would never want a weak woman but I am very leery of self proclaimed strong woman. It's usually an excuse to be obnoxious and impossible to get along with. A truly strong person does not need to announce it to the world.

[Zaphod B]

Do you men prefer a woman who is fragile, sensitive, meek, romantic and needs you to protect her?

 

I used to. Was married to one. Was with another for five years. Now they don't appeal to me quite as much, but I'm not going to cast one aside if she is and I do like the idea of being the protector.

 

Or do you get turned on by a strong, confident, independent woman?

 

Hell yeah! I think a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it is a turn on. Career women are great. I have found that the type of woman I like best is someone who is on the same interlectual level as me, or even higher. Someone who stimulates my mind as well as my body. I want someone I can have enthralling conversations with and who won't bore me after a few months.

 

 

A woman who says more often "Yeah, well... I think you're right" or a woman who knows what she wants and what she's doing? A woman who smiles nervously while she removes the bangs from her face or a woman who stands straight and looks you in the eye?

 

As nice as it is to have someone agree with you on everyting, I want a woman who has her own mind and who I can have healthy discussions with. Hopefully we will both be mature enough to deal with clashes of opinion and can compromise.

Edited August 2, 2011 by Zaphod B

[Joe Normal]

I like a challenge, and prefer bad bitches to meek wallflowers.

[Almond_Joy]

OK, something I'm still trying to understand is the boring bit. I hear guys say all the time that they don't want to be with someone boring. But......once you get to know someone....a person becomes predictable. Like, you know their personality, you know their job, you know their hobbies, you know their overall lifestyle....if it's a great relationship, you guys know you're committed to each other and love each other......so.....what's left to "surprise" you or keep you stimulated?

 

My question is, when there's nothing left to "surprise" you, why is something wrong or bad when things get to that point? Why does your partner have to be a source of excitement (I mean besides sexually, because that's a given)? I usually have a solid overall picture of someone, in personality and lifestyle, by the 4 month mark. So by the 5th month, my partners really don't surprise me at all - and that's fine with me.

 

 

I know answers can vary on this, because all guys have different preferences, but can you guys give examples of actions or perspectives that would make a girl seem "boring" to you? Like boring enough to not initiate/continue a relationship with? I'm trying to get a grasp on what makes a girl boring and just do not get it.....