murrpanda Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I'm 23 years old, he's 28. I met this guy that I really like and we went out twice. Both times everything was great. There was outstanding chemistry and it was clear we both liked one another. Last time I saw him (nearly a week and a half ago) he told me he wanted to see me again and we said goodbye with a very nice kiss. He told me to text him later. I did, in which I received no reply. I put it off, thinking maybe he was busy. The week went by and I had sent him another text, no reply to that either. Yet, he would comment on my facebook statuses and photos. Which didn't make sense. I fear that perhaps he is no longer as interested in me as he had said prior. I want to perhaps just send him an email (since what's the point in calling or texting if he isn't going to reply anyways) and basically ask if he is interested. I figure this way, if he isn't, I don't have to sit here and linger on it. I was wondering some good ways to ask in the least bitchy way as possible? Can someone give me some ideas? The shorter, the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Audrina Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I say just be straight forward. "I feel like we had really good chemistry and would enjoy continuing to see you, do you feel the same way or are you more interested in a friendship?" Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I want to perhaps just send him an email (since what's the point in calling or texting if he isn't going to reply anyways) and basically ask if he is interested. I wouldn't do it. You texted; he isn't responding. He's already let you know how he feels by not responding. A guy who's genuinely interested will contact you and will ask you out. He's doing the FB comments in order to remain on friendly terms with you in case he decides he wants you in the future (i.e., if he runs out of options). Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
chelle21689 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I agree with Iris Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Can someone give me some ideas? The shorter, the better. certainly...just move on Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 A guy who's genuinely interested will contact you and will ask you out. I don't understand why women don't get this simple concept. A man finally wrote a book (He's Just Not That Into You) spelling it out so there is no excuse. Saves time, energy and heartache in the long run. Wish I had known about it when I was younger. As a mature woman, I've had men call me from different time zones, divert their business trips to see me, send me a plane ticket when they were too busy to travel themselves. "Where there's a will, there's a way." Or maybe, "Where there's a willy there's a way!" Link to post Share on other sites
TuffCookieX Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I find this really weird that he's commenting on your stuff and not responding to texts... it makes me wonder if he's even recieving them. It's almost like he's giving you little indirect reminders on facebook to hit him up. Next time he comments something, I'd write back and ask what he's been up to and how he's doing. Don't ask him out, just be friendly back. If he gives a general answer, then I agree with the rest and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author murrpanda Posted August 2, 2011 Author Share Posted August 2, 2011 TuffCookieX, I agree. I've been wondering if he has been receiving my text messages as well. Since there had been indications in the past that maybe he hadn't been. As to everyone else, I asked for a way to ask him if he is still interested. NOT IF I should ask him or not. I'm going to ask him regardless. I just wanted ideas as to how. Link to post Share on other sites
Star_Bright Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 TuffCookieX, I agree. I've been wondering if he has been receiving my text messages as well. Since there had been indications in the past that maybe he hadn't been. As to everyone else, I asked for a way to ask him if he is still interested. NOT IF I should ask him or not. I'm going to ask him regardless. I just wanted ideas as to how. I'm sorry to be blunt but he's not interested or he would let you know. Therefore asking him if he's interested is pointless. It will just make him feel awkward or bad. He might SAY he's interested to make you feel better. But it's his ACTIONS that show whether he's truly interested in you or not... listen to a man's actions, not his words... and here, you can listen to his non-words/silence as a big sign that he's not interested. I think if you ask him, you will regret it. I agree with the suggestion that you read He's Just Not That Into You. I am not trying to be mean but trying to help you... I've needed this advice in the past myself. Now that I realize that if a man is interested in me he will show me, and if he's not, I shouldn't waste my time worrying about him, my dating life is much more simple and happier. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I say just be straight forward. "I feel like we had really good chemistry and would enjoy continuing to see you, do you feel the same way or are you more interested in a friendship?" If you're going to ask him, which it sounds like you are, I think the language above is perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 No, don't ask him in any way. He's not interested anymore for whatever reason. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I don't know if it's any help but here's my two-penny worth: If a guy says "text me", he's not that interested and just wants you to do the running while he has you on a string. If he's really interested, he'll say he'll call because he doesn't want to risk you not contacting him. If he hasn't called in two days, forget him, he's either not interested or playing a game. I suppose it's just about possible that he's lost his 'phone, but I highly doubt it. You could email just a friendly email, not asking if he's interested but just making contact. Then see what happens. If there has been a problem with his 'phone, then he'll be pleased to hear from you. I don't think there has been because if he really liked you he would have got in touch some other way: by 'phoning you on your landline if he had the number, private message on Facebook, or by email. If he hasn't done any of these things, he's just playing around. My whole instinct here says he's just playing around and trying to provoke a reaction from you (in a childish way) by commenting on Facebook. If he can't contact you directly and personally, he's not worth it, truly. You deserve someone who can be respectful and, well, a grown up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author murrpanda Posted August 6, 2011 Author Share Posted August 6, 2011 I'll just have you all know that he has contacted me and a third date is coming soon (and I never even emailed him or contacted him). Just so all of you who said, "he's totally uninterested" are aware. Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 I'll just have you all know that he has contacted me and a third date is coming soon (and I never even emailed him or contacted him). Just so all of you who said, "he's totally uninterested" are aware. Yay. Sometimes people do get busy. I've got "He's Just Not That Into You" and although it gives some good advice, everyone is different, and just because he hasn't called you the day after, it doesn't mean he's lost interest at all. Speaking from experience as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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