Where to go

[Kevin]

My fiance had an affair on me, and is now sleeping around. While I know at this point I'm better off without her, I can't sleep at night, can't get my mind off the good times, etc. I really miss her. I'm on tranquilizers, the whole nine yards, and am now seeing a counselor. I've heard Tony mention lines you can call when you need to talk-what are they, specifically. I don't want to wear out my friends and family, and only go to my therapist once a week. I really feel like I'm going insane. Please help.

[Tony T]

If you are religious, there are many ministries in or near your town that offer telephone counselling. Otherwise, watch TV on Sunday morning to get ample phone numbers for that purpose. If you are not religious, there are crisis lines in every city. The police dispatcher in your city...or even the information operator, can give you that number.

 

If you are in a larger town, there are numerous support groups and workshops that deal with loss such as yours. You can find out where they are through a local mental health facility or through announcements in your local newspaper.

 

Professional psychological counselling is always a plus if you can afford a few sessions. If you can get into a group, you can get some good therapy at a much reduced rate.

 

There are many books in the library and at local bookstores that deal with coping with loss. Find a good one. There are also Internet sites that deal with the healing process that you can look over.

 

What you are going through is perfectly normal for the trauma you have sustained. Time will heal you, I promise. I have been there a number of times. I know it doesn't feel good. Ultimately, when you get really angry at your ex for being the phoney she is, you will feel a whole lot better. Be sure to feel that anger...it is an important part of the healing process.

 

It is extremely unfortunate but so often be give the whole of our heart, our love and our trust to someone who is unworthy. I have no idea why we get so bummed out over their loss when we should really be celebrating...and being sorry for the others they may suck into the same situation.

 

You will heal, you will feel lots better. Try to get off the tranquilizers as soon as you feel you can. Try to get this bxtch off your mind as soon as possible. It is an insult to your mind to take up its time with the likes of a subhuman specimen as she.