So. Who here thinks I'm deluded?

[SpiralOut]

I've known this guy for about 7 years now. I liked him at first. We fooled around. He made it clear he didn't want me as a girlfriend. I told him we could just be friends then. After a while, we somehow turned into f*** buddies. We were in uni together at first, so we would do this quite a bit.

 

Then he began to do a lot of travelling for work and we'd go for months at a time without seeing each other. Whenever he was in town, he would call me multiple times wanting to see me. He was very persisitent. And usually he could talk me into meeting up with him because he's just so damn hot it's hard to say no to him.

 

Almost every time I see him, he has a story about how he saw someone who looked like me so he waved but it wasn't me. I am not sure what those stories are about.

 

Anyway, I eventually got a serious boyfriend so I didn't see him anymore. He would still sometimes call, wanting to see me. I had to set boundaries because he didn't seem to care that I had a bf. After a while he got the hint and told me he was happy for me, and he left me alone. I did not see him for about 2 1/2 years.

 

Earlier this year me and the boyfriend broke up. I got back into contact with this guy, and next time he came to visit he called me but I was out of town. So he visited again the next weekend. when I asked him what he was doing in town the first thing he said was "I wanted to see you since I hadn't seen you in a while." which surprised me. We spent time catching up. Normally we are very emotionally distant with each other but this time we opened up to each other about our lives, and we flirted, and well we did the usual f*** buddy thing. He also helped me to install my air conditioner which was nice and I gave him some food because, well I was hungry and he happened to walk in as I was cooking my frozen nuggets. We have each other a LONG hug goodbye, which we've never done before. It actually felt like we were friends.

 

This probably sounds deluded on my part but I get the feeling that he looks at me differently now. I might be imagining it, but SO many things have changed with me and my life that I think it's plausable that he does see me differently. I saw him again the other weekend. Again he told me that he wanted to stop in and see me before he had to leave again. Both of the times that he saw me, he was putting his friends on hold to do so.

 

If I happen to be at home when he calls, he usually sounds kind of disappointed, like he was hoping I was out somewhere. He has never ever asked me out, except the first year I met him he invited me out one time to go out with him and his friends. I have this strange feeling that if I happen to be downtown or at a coffee shop when he calls me wanting to see me, he will show up there to see me. We haven't been out in public together in a long time so I am curious to see if he would be up for it or not.

 

I'm starting to realize he goes for a certain type of woman, the type that is assertive (maybe a little bossy and high-maintenance). He seems to have a soft spot for certain woman. I'm wondering now if he likes me more than I realized. I get this weird sense that he's hoping for me to do something different.

 

Anyway. In case you can't tell, I have some feelings for him. However, I am still getting over my breakup and he knows it. I don't want him or anybody as my boyfriend right now. But I like him anyway and I think about him all the time. I don't even care if I get hurt or not. I need to know what is going on and I'm not afraid anymore to take a risk.

 

Thoughts?

[Zaphod B]

It may be plausable that his feelings have changed for you. It's really hard to say. Probably talking to him about it might be a good thing and try to find out what his intentions really are. If he still insists that he doesn't want you as a girlfriend and just wants you as a F Buddy, then you'll know.

[SpiralOut]

thanks for responding. yeah i know that i need to bring it up somehow. i am so nervous. in fact i'm so nervous that the last time i saw him, i was planning on bringing it up and i just couldn't do it. i have a plan for next time though.