whichwayisup Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I truly value and thank-you all for your comment's so far You have definenitely given me something to think about. My wife and I have discussed several issues, and they were in regard's to STD'S and also if I feel in love with an another woman. At this stage she is unsure on how she would feel if I went ahead and found a compatible partner. I can advise that it was my wifes idea of seekng a compatatible partner as she truly felt guilty of being unable to provide. It has been a really long 3 year's and I have alway's thought about the situation, but have not done anything. I know if I did I prob would feel guilty and regret it. Looking forward to any addtional comment's. Hate to say it, but you're maybe better off having ONS's here and there rather than getting involved with another woman. You could fall for someone else, unintentionally but obviously it does happen..Or the OW could become too attached to you and want more than you have to offer. As lovely as the idea is, your wife giving you permission, you must know that it probably KILLED her inside to offer you such a thing. She wants you to be happy and feel fulfilled sexually, yet she's willing to possibly lose you in the process. Link to post Share on other sites
lilagirl Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Hate to say it, but you're maybe better off having ONS's here and there rather than getting involved with another woman. You could fall for someone else, unintentionally but obviously it does happen..Or the OW could become too attached to you and want more than you have to offer. As lovely as the idea is, your wife giving you permission, you must know that it probably KILLED her inside to offer you such a thing. She wants you to be happy and feel fulfilled sexually, yet she's willing to possibly lose you in the process. I agree. This board is filled with love stories that have lead to stories of pain and heartache... sharing with another human being leads to emotions... just be careful. Love just happens sometimes...even when your not asking for it. I am sorry for what you are going through. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 As lovely as the idea is, your wife giving you permission, you must know that it probably KILLED her inside to offer you such a thing. She wants you to be happy and feel fulfilled sexually, yet she's willing to possibly lose you in the process. This is what I also suspect, using human nature as a standard of behavior. Speaking for myself, if my love could not have sex then I would really like to believe I could join her in not having sex. There are worse things...like not having her around at all. I really do see this as a test of love and character. If the kind of love that is supposed to exist between a man and his woman is present, I would think it is a test that would be passed with flying colors. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 I'll answer your question with another; do you love her? Or is your love dependent on her fulfilling her side of the 'deal'? If so, you do not. Truly. How insensitive to suggest that from the OP story that he may not truly love his wife. I am not above criticism but please absorb my words before doing so. False, or imitation love is wholly dependent upon what the partner can or does promise to offer. And while that is love, it is for self/self-centered purposes. I do agree that my question was pointed and direct but it was not accusative. I only respond because I feel this behavior has an overwhelming impact on relationships. This one included. I am passionate about this topic and do not toss it carelessly. You may or may not agree. Your decision, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned_Wife Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Right here. This is the part I have a problem with. Why does this stop your sex life from existing? After all she's only paralyzed on ONE side, right? What's wrong with her OTHER side? Is she not able to caress you with her "good" hand? I assume she's still able to eat and drink, so that means she's still able to use her mouth. And as far as the actual sex act goes....hell, there's more than one position - nothing a little experimentation couldn't handle. So this leaves me to believe that your W is the one who DOESN'T want to have sex. Am I right? (sorry if the answer is further in this thread - I'm responding without reading people's posts) ***JAW DROP*** Do you even know what a stroke is? Have you ever had one or watched a family member suffer from one? I have, my mother had 2 strokes and brain surgery (she's a divorcee, not sex worries for her but still). Are you freaking serious? Do you understand the definition of paralysis? I'm damned glad you aren't my partner if I had had a stroke. I'm just floored at how utterly cold your comments are. No wonder I have no faith in the human race anymore. That was nasty and cold, unbelievably cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
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