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Would like to start dating a friend...


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Hi again all, been quite some time since I've been to LS!

Well, back in January I met this girl in a club (randomly, not planned) who I lived next door to in University halls the year before and got on well with, friends but nothing more (we were both seeing people so I never thougth of dating her, always thought she was attractive though)). We got on really well, talked for quite a while, had a few laughs, but that was it.

Met up with her and another ex-flatmate the next day (had already been arranged the week before), all nice and friendly etc. but still didn't really think any more about dating her...

Another month passed, kept in regular contact over MSN and texts, then met her (again randomly) at another club on my birthday, had a few dances and drinks together...(that was when I realised that I would like to get to be more than just friends)...talked loads, my friends saw us together-thought we were getting on really well etc., but nothing more happened.

The week after that she invited me out to a club with her friends, but I was burried under with work so had to decline, but she understood why I couldn't go, and said things like "such a shame you can't come" etc.

2 more months have passed since then (we have not been in the same city for 1 of those due to the Easter break, and I spent some time working in Tenerife too-so I haven't been sitting doing noting about it for THAT long!), when on Sunday I finally decided to phone her and ask if she'd like to go out for dinner and maybe catch a film afterwards. However, she didn't answer (or cancel the call, just went to voice mail after a while),-didn't leave a message as I'd like to ask her either in (or as near to as possible in) person...well, now I don't know what to do, do I try again, or do I try to see her at uni sometime.. I (and a couple of my friends who also know here) think that she is interested, but I don't know for sure...never been in the situation where I'd like to start dating a friend, always been dating then friends so I'm a bit lost :eek: Any ideas/advice would be much appreciated!

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Maybe this would go better in "Friends and Lovers"...please feel free to move it moderators!

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I definitley say call again! Simple as that. What have you got to lose by calling? You could actually miss out if you don't call. She seems interested and I don't even know you guys! :) Keep us posted

 

-becks

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I'm not soo sure about leaveing messages, they are too easily forgotten/avoided, but I guess that's better than asking someone out by text/MSN etc.!

What if I do ask and it turns out she's not interested/seeing someone else right now (both of which, I don't think are true right now *modest :D *), I'd still like to remain at least friends...I think that would be very difficult for me!

I want to call again, but maybe that looks too persistent, I might see her at uni tomorrow...if I do, I may wel ask I guess...

...more comments appreciated :)

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bluechocolate

I'm not soo sure about leaveing messages, they are too easily forgotten/avoided, but I guess that's better than asking someone out by text/MSN etc.!

 

You don't have to ask her out in the message! Just hello, it's so&so, give me a call when you've got the time and leave your number. That shouldn't be so hard, should it? And certainly it's better than calling & hanging up! Doesn't everyone has access to "last number redial" these days? Maybe she knows that you've called & hung up.

 

I want to call again, but maybe that looks too persistent...

 

huh? How many times have you called? In your post you say you called once and didn't leave a message - I wouldn't call that persistent.

 

If you don't call and ask her out or even find out if she's available, you'll then be on here posting about the one that got away.

 

Who dares wins.

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you know I quite like the idea of being asked out by message or email! Gives me time to think.

 

If you don't actually ask her out leave a number- she'll call if she likes you.

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We already have eachothers numbers, and it was her mobile i called so would have just said missed call and my number. I think that asking someone out over a message/text is a bit lame though, sure it would give you time to think but it's kinda saying I don't have the guts to ask you to your face. Annoying thing is that I know I would have asked by now if she wasn't a friend etc., just need to get in there and do it lol. Maybe see her tomorrow at uni, hope I'm feeling confident to ask then.

I like whay tou say about the message, just general chit-chat and then give me a cell when u have time etc., sounds like a good back-up plan!

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mr_roggger

OK, so I have been busy this past week working on a presentation and other things for one of my clubs so I haven't had chance to do anything about this situation (yes, I know, rather pathetic really!)

Anyways, she invited me (and friends) out for her birthday tomorrow, so I'll let you know how it goes.

Would appreciate any advice, we are going to a posh pub then onto a club afterwards...

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