Is it normal if a guy you're seeing never invites you to his parties?

[mo mo]

Ugh.

 

No one gets what I mean by that. And yes in the future. In the NEAR NEAR NEAR VERY SOON future. You all telling me I can't go through with it amd that I won't is only going to piss me off and make me NOT want to do it.

 

I'm sorry what?

 

You just proved her point. You don't really want to do it. What does it matter to you that perfect strangers think you won't? Does that automatically change the situation between you and this guy? Get real

[DuskCrush]

Tasha, go to the phone now and end it wit him.

If you can to that then start dating men and having fun asap. Go out with your friends. Tae your mind off this guy.

[Tasha49]

I'm sorry what?

 

You just proved her point. You don't really want to do it. What does it matter to you that perfect strangers think you won't? Does that automatically change the situation between you and this guy? Get real

 

I find it funny you took me literal. I was being sarcastic...

[Tasha49]

Tasha, go to the phone now and end it wit him.

If you can to that then start dating men and having fun asap. Go out with your friends. Tae your mind off this guy.

 

Goodness I wish it were that easy =\

 

It could be easy... just not for me. I already wrote a letter and am trying to edit it to perfection. THEN I will move on. And I will not be looking for men, I hate it. If the right opportunity strikes, so be it. But after this crap I will not be pursuing other men. Especially when I could potentially hurt them because I am on the rebound. They will be my "Pain fixer."

[dispatch3d]

whatever, livin' your life letting people walk over you. Have fun with that.

[rafallus]

dumping him but not until you have a new man ready. females cant go a day alone but complain when males cant get girlfriends.

 

Wow, you must really hate women.

[Star Gazer]

Ugh.

 

No one gets what I mean by that. And yes in the future. In the NEAR NEAR NEAR VERY SOON future. You all telling me I can't go through with it amd that I won't is only going to piss me off and make me NOT want to do it.

 

Right. So after alllllll these pages where you've said you've decided to end it, you actually have NOT decided to end it. You're still on this side of the fence.

[stillafool]

Wow. You STILL don't understand Marly. It isn't aboug being called a girlfriend. That isn't the problem. You do not even get what I am trying to say here at all. He doesn't treat me in any special way at all around anyone he hangs out with or who I hang out with. He does around his family moreso but his feelings are non-existant in front of anyone else. He'll put his arm around me when no one is looking but as soon as they turn he takes his ark away do quickly I swear I get whiplash. If someone accidentally addresses me as his girlfriend, he will correct them in a defensive way and tell them I am NOY his girlfriend, but his friend. The ONLY time he treats me like he genuinely cares, is when we are alone and nobody is watching. Should that not matter to a girl? Maybe some could take that, but to me it hurts my feelings tremendously. It feels like I don't mean anything to him. How would that make YOU feel? And yes when we are alone it is great. But I want a REAL relationship. Where he constantly shows me he cares and not only when the door is shut. I don't want a guy who I can only introduce to my family and friends as my friend. It hurts. All of this makes me have to hold how much I love him back because I feel like I have way stronger feelings for him than he for me.

 

Why would I HOPE he cries? Why would I even want to see that? The person I love is not the person I would ever want to see cry ESPECIALLY because of me. Why do you think I have such a hard time ending it? I don't want to see him hurt. I HATE hurting people. That is why I am the way I am; overly nice. Because I hate saying how I really feel just to avoid upsetting someone. And I know it will hurt him. But I have to get out if I am sad more than happy. I guess we will see if he cares enough to come after me. But even if he did... would that make me happy? Of course not. Because then, again, one of us will not truly be happy. Do not accuse me of blackmailing him. I never ever once told him that he better commit to me or I am leaving. I told him I can't keep doing this because we don't want the same things. And I was the one crying... not him. I was the one crying until I couldn't breathe. So don't start accusing me of stupid crap. I do not appreciate it.

 

And I NEVER gave him two weeks to commit. He was the one who told ME to give him two weeks to think (which was after I told him I was done for good since he had just slept with a co-worker of mine at the BBQ). And all of a sudden he comes after me and tells me he loves me and wants to be with me. I said I was unsure. Then he said to come over later and talk to him. Later came and we talked. That is when he said now he needs 2 weeks to think about being with me. That was in April...

 

All you are doing is assuming from left to right about how I think and who I am. I am nothing like you describe. I am nice, caring, and a sweet person. Not manipulative, needy or dramatic. You are stepping way over a line. I don't need a guy to provide direction in my life. I know where I am going...

 

You are way out of line.

 

Wow Tasha, it seems that YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, the above is exactly what Marly described. I think you should reread her post.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Tasha,

 

I suggest you go to your "Statistics" here on LS and revisit ALL the threads you've started.

 

Either make your move OUT of this relationship ...

 

Or, stop talking about it and just accept that this is the relationship that you CHOOSE to be in, exactly as it is.

[Tasha49]

Everyone is acting like I am not taking anything into consideration. I HAVE. why do you think I have come from a thread saying I don't know what to do... to a thread saying I now know I need to move on? Why have I gone from thinking he loves me to now only feeling as if he plain old just cares and nothing more?

 

Just because one poster comes in here sounding all wise (not saying you are not, Marly) in words and thoughts does NOT mean that the opinion amd guess toward my situation is right. Sure it sounds good to all of you because YOU are not living in my situation and witness nothing at all. A lot of what has been said is more than right in here. And I appreciate that. But when someone comes in all negative and rude just because I don't see complete truth about my situation does not make me a bad person or stupid or anything of the such.

[Tasha49]

dumping him but not until you have a new man ready. females cant go a day alone but complain when males cant get girlfriends.

 

A new man? LOL. This is easily laughable.

 

If you weren't lazy and chose to read everything you would see that I am NOT even slightly desiring to look for another guy. I can't even see myself with another guy. None seem even appealing to me due to the extent of my feelings for THIS guy.

 

I am just fine alone thank you very much.

[Tasha49]

My problem in this thread was not that I didn't know what to do. I was just hoping to see some ideas (not claims or accusations since no one is in his mind) as to why someone would do this to someone they DO care about. I wasn't asking the original question in hopes that someone would suggest some fantasy bs that would light my eyes up and make me jump for joy and maybe I actually have a real chance at this. I already gave a reason why I thought he was not inviting me to parties anymore and it was negative. Nothing like "Oh, he's probably just not thinking to invite me," or "Well... there has to be some simple and innocent explanation."

 

I was just hoping people would give some advice so that I know this IS a red flag and so that if it were to ever happen again I would know when to walk away and not put up with any sh*t. I wanted to know whether or not I was just some over-analytical girl assuming bad things.

[Kamille]

 

I was just hoping people would give some advice so that I know this IS a red flag and so that if it were to ever happen again I would know when to walk away and not put up with any sh*t.

 

This is the central issue, in my opinion. It's all a matter of what you will or won't put up with, of where your own boundaries are and of what kind of relationship you believe you deserve.

 

Would you wish your current relationship - as it is- on your best friend? Would you want a guy to treat her the way your guy does?

 

Is this how you want to be treated by a man who says he loves you?

 

Spend sometime imagining your ideal relationship and how you would want to be treated. I bet you it involves being crazy about you, being happy to call you his girlfriend and being proud to present you to his friends, inviting you to his parties and being happy to be sexually exclusive. Guess what: that's what you deserve. You shouldn't ever settle for anything less. Stop finding excuses for his behavior or as to why you have to wait longer to strive for what you want.

Edited August 9, 2011 by Kamille

[forms]

If you weren't lazy and chose to read everything you would see that I am NOT even slightly desiring to look for another guy.

 

Everything, EVERYTHING you write, you eventually contradict. You are lying. I'll give you a break, you are lying to yourself as much as to us, but you are lying.

 

You say the roommate does the inviting, and doesn't know you to invite you, but there's probably a hundred times in this thread where you say your BF does the inviting.

 

You say the roommates don't know you, just see you following him in to the bedroom; you say they do know you, you have dinner together and watch movies; then you say they don't know you.

 

You did say one of them tipped you off to the other girls; then you say you did your own spying.

 

You say you would love to go to college to meet men in this very thread, and then make fun of someone suggesting you do that.

 

You say you are just so utterly nice and can't bear to break it off with him because it would hurtem him's widdle fweelings and altho he treats you like **** and altho he's a loser stoner drunk running around with HS dropouts and underaged girls (no wonder his mother likes you), you can't bear the thought of being rude to him. You don't mind being rude to people who are trying to help you, but you can't bring yourself to be rude to him.

 

It's all BS. All this nonsense you put out is pure BS. I read all your posts from the first post you ever made here to now, not reading any answers, just your posts and you are full of BS, just full of it, desperately tap dancing and lying and doing eveything possible to hide the truth from others and yourself and don't even care if you look unstable as you keep changing your stories to ensure neither you or him are criticized.

 

Here's the nasty truth:

 

He's using you to the point of exploiting you. He likes you because you are easy and submissive. He isn't inviting you to his parties because he doesn't like you well enough to associate with you. You aren't even on his B list.

 

You are obsessed with him. You will debase yourself for him, tell yourself and others any lie to make it all right to debase yourself with him. You have nothing else of value going on in your life--you work with him, you spend all your free time with him that he'll give you, you are only sleeping with him, you are spying on him, you are obsessing about him.

 

You can't break up with him because you will have nothing. What will you do with your free time? If you can't justify, plot, wait for his summons, or spy what will you do with your time? You'll see him at work bouncing back and doing just fine and moving on.

 

You mention repeatedly that you aren't dumb, you aren't stupid, and I can't attest to your IQ, but frankly, your emotional EQ is in the retard stage. You may be smart intellectually, but you are not smart emotionally. And I don't believe you are as nice as you portray yourself. You haven't been nice on this thread; you've been insulting, dismissive, patronizing and derisive.

 

You do need a therapist and you need a new something to fill up your thoughts and free time. Without a replacement obsession, you will not be able to break up with him, you'll implode with the nothingness of your life.

 

Send him a text saying you are breaking up, go NC, then hustle your hine parts down to school and enroll. Then start looking for another job.

 

If you can't do that, then at least admit the truth to yourself: I'm demeaning myself in an obsessive one way, exploitive relationship, and I'm allowing desperation and fantasy to override any common sense I have and drive my choice. This is who I am.

 

If you can be happy that way, great; be happy. If you can't, or don't like the truth of who you are, get a therapist and find out what trauma or deprivation in early life has backed you into such a corner that you insist on clinging to this guy.

[mo mo]

Everything, EVERYTHING you write, you eventually contradict. You are lying. I'll give you a break, you are lying to yourself as much as to us, but you are lying.

 

You say the roommate does the inviting, and doesn't know you to invite you, but there's probably a hundred times in this thread where you say your BF does the inviting.

 

You say the roommates don't know you, just see you following him in to the bedroom; you say they do know you, you have dinner together and watch movies; then you say they don't know you.

 

You did say one of them tipped you off to the other girls; then you say you did your own spying.

 

You say you would love to go to college to meet men in this very thread, and then make fun of someone suggesting you do that.

 

You say you are just so utterly nice and can't bear to break it off with him because it would hurtem him's widdle fweelings and altho he treats you like **** and altho he's a loser stoner drunk running around with HS dropouts and underaged girls (no wonder his mother likes you), you can't bear the thought of being rude to him. You don't mind being rude to people who are trying to help you, but you can't bring yourself to be rude to him.

 

It's all BS. All this nonsense you put out is pure BS. I read all your posts from the first post you ever made here to now, not reading any answers, just your posts and you are full of BS, just full of it, desperately tap dancing and lying and doing eveything possible to hide the truth from others and yourself and don't even care if you look unstable as you keep changing your stories to ensure neither you or him are criticized.

 

Here's the nasty truth:

 

He's using you to the point of exploiting you. He likes you because you are easy and submissive. He isn't inviting you to his parties because he doesn't like you well enough to associate with you. You aren't even on his B list.

 

You are obsessed with him. You will debase yourself for him, tell yourself and others any lie to make it all right to debase yourself with him. You have nothing else of value going on in your life--you work with him, you spend all your free time with him that he'll give you, you are only sleeping with him, you are spying on him, you are obsessing about him.

 

You can't break up with him because you will have nothing. What will you do with your free time? If you can't justify, plot, wait for his summons, or spy what will you do with your time? You'll see him at work bouncing back and doing just fine and moving on.

 

You mention repeatedly that you aren't dumb, you aren't stupid, and I can't attest to your IQ, but frankly, your emotional EQ is in the retard stage. You may be smart intellectually, but you are not smart emotionally. And I don't believe you are as nice as you portray yourself. You haven't been nice on this thread; you've been insulting, dismissive, patronizing and derisive.

 

You do need a therapist and you need a new something to fill up your thoughts and free time. Without a replacement obsession, you will not be able to break up with him, you'll implode with the nothingness of your life.

 

Send him a text saying you are breaking up, go NC, then hustle your hine parts down to school and enroll. Then start looking for another job.

 

If you can't do that, then at least admit the truth to yourself: I'm demeaning myself in an obsessive one way, exploitive relationship, and I'm allowing desperation and fantasy to override any common sense I have and drive my choice. This is who I am.

 

If you can be happy that way, great; be happy. If you can't, or don't like the truth of who you are, get a therapist and find out what trauma or deprivation in early life has backed you into such a corner that you insist on clinging to this guy.

 

Telling it like it is. What this person said has basically been on my mind for a long time too, but I never said it because I didn't want to come across as "insulting" or anything like that. Plus, I haven't taken the time to look at all her posts, though in some of them I have noticed some contradictions too.

 

I basically felt that she hasn't been interested in helping herself see the reality of the situation, so how could I?

 

I'd just like to add that I think she snaps back at people so much because she feels we are questioning her intelligence and stability. As soon as she reads something that questions her actions, she comes up with some kind of defense and disregards the person entirely.

 

But other than that, this person is dead on with the assessment.

[Kamille]

I'm not sure I see the point in psychologizing the OP to this extent. She's 21 and she's pretty much doing what many 21 year olds do: prioritizing how she feels about a guy, looking for signs that he is indeed into her instead of paying attention to his attention and his words. She's also struggling to assert her own rights in the relationship, hoping that being nice he will turn around.

 

Tasha, go to a bookstore and look at He's Not That Into You and Why Men Marry B.... I don't necessarily believe these books are helpful for everybody, but I think they do a nice job of explaining that 1) Why making excuses for shoddy behavior is the worse thing you can do. 2) Why your friends are as invested as you are in telling you that this guy is into you, in spite of his disrespectful treatment, that 3) Men mean it when they say they don't want a commitment and usually act accordingly and 4) Why being assertive (and not fearing conflict) is the surest way to find a healthy relationship.

 

The way I see it, you struggle with the same issue I did as a twenty-something: you prioritize being nice and being liked over respecting your own needs. You perhaps even struggle to know where you own boundaries are.

[Tasha49]

WOW. Forms... get out of my thread if you are not here to help, but rather slander me repeatedly. If you do not have anything relating to my QUESTION... then gtfo. I cannot believe how terrible you are. And way over judgemental.

 

It is NOT bs. You people are not reading my posts apparently. Okay cool maybe ONCE or twice I said he threw a party... then I didn't word it correctly. He doesn't have ANY friends to invite but one or two. So he didn't ever "throw" the parties. Show me where I said "hundreds of times" that he threw the parties.

 

You are the one not reading between the lines. I never once ever ever said that his roommates don't know me. I said they don't know WHAT I am to "him." Because when we hang out we have to behave as friends around his roommates. They know me and we all hang out together at his place, and I not once meant that in any other way. I said that his roommates do not know how close him and I are because he makes sure not to associate with me in a way that is different than a friend. Yes... they see me go to sleep with him and they know we hang out... that is why I ASSUME they at least know something about us, but my point was that they don't know jack sh*t about anything else that we are. And when I say friends I mean his current roommates because he doesn't really have many friends but his roommates and him are now close. He had 2 co-workers that were his friends but they as well only knew that we hung out. They were the ones to tell me that they think I deserve better because based off of the way they thought my situation was... they thought my guy was being very unfair.

 

Please find where I said one of his friends tipped me off about another girl. Nobody knew about any of the girls he slept with. Maybe you failed to listen correctly. I did say last year there was a party at his place and I could not find him... so I went to his room and it wad shut and locked. One of his ROOMMATES told me there was a girl in there. That doesn't mean he told me he was sleeping with her. I assumed that all on my own. My guy the next day told me he did not do anything with the girl but he was in there for quite some time and so I wasn't dumb. So other than that (which doesn't count as a friend tipping me off) NO one told me about any of the girls he slept with. I found out on my own. Please quote me where I said his friend tipped me off.

 

I did not make fun of someone SUGGESTING me to get a man BEFORE I break this off. He specifically accused me of doing that. And it is not true. sure... I WOULD love to meet a guy in college. But did I ever say that I wished that RIGHT NOW?

 

And I am nice thank you very much. Do not think for half of a second you know who I am. I am a really nice person. But if someone comes attacking me with all kinds of harsh and arrogant accusations, would you expect me to sit back and smile? No. It is beyond rude and it is not in any way necessary. I am asking for help not asking for people to visciously take stabs at the person they think I am and saying all this crap about me needing counseling andthat I am some f*cked up little girl. I will NOT sit back and be nice about that. You try posting a situation where people are ruthless and a**holes for no reason. I don't take kindly to people telling me all this junk about the person I am and that I am retarded.

 

I am nowhere near obsessed with him. I looked through his phone so that I knew for sure he was not messing with other girls. If I don't deserve to know that then cool... stab some more. I never snoop unless I have a bad feeling. And thanks for being so beautifully caring and CLAIMING that I have no life. I do. I have friends and family and I DO live a life outside of him. I have never demanded to spend time with him or told him we have to hang out more. It is HIM doing all of the planning. If I tell him I am busy when he wants to hang out it is HIM who has a problem with it.

 

If I don't like the truth of who I am? LOL! Oh yes please do tell me tbat I know not one splinter of the person I am. You do NOT know who I am. Just because I don't agree with some opinions on here, I am all of a sudden a moron and all these other disgusting names you all call me? I do not need counseling. That is quite the accusation. I am just like evrty other female my age. The ONLY thing I am guilty of is being with someone who does not want the same. I guess, you know, that means I need counseling and mental help.

 

This forum is full of a bunch of *******s. Some genuinely care but some are so bitter that not even God himself could fix. Listen to yourself. You are not a nice person at all and I refuse to listen to another single moronic post you make.

[Tasha49]

Telling it like it is. What this person said has basically been on my mind for a long time too, but I never said it because I didn't want to come across as "insulting" or anything like that. Plus, I haven't taken the time to look at all her posts, though in some of them I have noticed some contradictions too.

 

I basically felt that she hasn't been interested in helping herself see the reality of the situation, so how could I?

 

I'd just like to add that I think she snaps back at people so much because she feels we are questioning her intelligence and stability. As soon as she reads something that questions her actions, she comes up with some kind of defense and disregards the person entirely.

 

But other than that, this person is dead on with the assessment.

Of course I am going to snap back at someone questioning my intelligence and stability. When they could not be more off and all of these things hurt my feeling because I know who I am. I am in love and yes that may cloud my judgement a bit but it does not mean I need to seek a therapist. That is the most terrible thing someone could tell me. And then just because what someone says sounds smart... all these other posters come in saying, "Ope! Well this person sounds smart so I think they're right and this person does need some help."

 

Forms does not know a spec of the person I am. The reason I am so defensive is because of how blatently rude the comments are. People in here tend to go mental when the OP disagrees with their outlook. I even said there were things that have made me realize were no good but NOPE. i am still a brainless, psychotic lunatic who needs counseling because I denythe fact that they think they know EVERYTHING about my situation and that there is just no way there could be any holes in their analysis. Deny one single detail and OH NO I am all of a sudden some dumb broad who doesn't know myself and every word that is assumed about the person I am is wrong.

[dreamingoftigers]

Everything, EVERYTHING you write, you eventually contradict. You are lying. I'll give you a break, you are lying to yourself as much as to us, but you are lying.

 

You say the roommate does the inviting, and doesn't know you to invite you, but there's probably a hundred times in this thread where you say your BF does the inviting.

 

You say the roommates don't know you, just see you following him in to the bedroom; you say they do know you, you have dinner together and watch movies; then you say they don't know you.

 

You did say one of them tipped you off to the other girls; then you say you did your own spying.

 

You say you would love to go to college to meet men in this very thread, and then make fun of someone suggesting you do that.

 

You say you are just so utterly nice and can't bear to break it off with him because it would hurtem him's widdle fweelings and altho he treats you like **** and altho he's a loser stoner drunk running around with HS dropouts and underaged girls (no wonder his mother likes you), you can't bear the thought of being rude to him. You don't mind being rude to people who are trying to help you, but you can't bring yourself to be rude to him.

 

It's all BS. All this nonsense you put out is pure BS. I read all your posts from the first post you ever made here to now, not reading any answers, just your posts and you are full of BS, just full of it, desperately tap dancing and lying and doing eveything possible to hide the truth from others and yourself and don't even care if you look unstable as you keep changing your stories to ensure neither you or him are criticized.

 

Here's the nasty truth:

 

He's using you to the point of exploiting you. He likes you because you are easy and submissive. He isn't inviting you to his parties because he doesn't like you well enough to associate with you. You aren't even on his B list.

 

You are obsessed with him. You will debase yourself for him, tell yourself and others any lie to make it all right to debase yourself with him. You have

nothing else of value going on in your life--you work with him, you spend all your free time with him that he'll give you, you are only sleeping with him, you are spying on him, you are obsessing about him.

 

You can't break up with him because you will have nothing. What will you do with your free time? If you can't justify, plot, wait for his summons, or spy what will you do with your time? You'll see him at work bouncing back and doing just fine and moving on.

 

You mention repeatedly that you aren't dumb, you aren't stupid, and I can't attest to your IQ, but frankly, your emotional EQ is in the retard stage. You may be smart intellectually, but you are not smart emotionally. And I don't believe you are as nice as you portray yourself. You haven't been nice on this thread; you've been insulting, dismissive, patronizing and derisive.

 

You do need a therapist and you need a new something to fill up your thoughts and free time. Without a replacement obsession, you will not be able

to break up with him, you'll implode with the nothingness of your life.

 

Send him a text saying you are breaking up, go NC, then hustle your hine parts down to school and enroll. Then start looking for another job.

 

If you can't do that, then at least admit the truth to yourself: I'm demeaning myself in an obsessive one way, exploitive relationship, and I'm allowing desperation and fantasy to override any common sense I have and drive my choice. This is who I am.

 

If you can be happy that way, great; be happy. If you can't, or don't like the truth of who you are, get a therapist and find out what trauma or deprivation in early life has backed you into such a corner that you insist on clinging to this guy.

 

You know what forms?

I needed to hear this.

I have wanted to keep my marriage because I had nothing else if value to show my daughter. I am not educated, I am not successful, I have no great fortune or family and my life is a bunch of extended ****-ups often because I make ridiculous sacrifices to keep a man in my life. Even a ridiculous porn-addicted drunk like my husband.

 

I wanted my daughter to have a family that she could be proud of growing up in. But my husband has proven through Hell and high water that he doesn't care about both of us (of course he asserts that it is just me) to change. He really doesn't care whether I stay or go and he won't touch me anymore. I keep checking-up on him, confronting him and trying to find new options to "save the marriage" "save the family" "save my husband from his disease."

 

Maybe he is happier without me. And I am throwing away happiness with both hands by trying to save things that don't want to be saved and hoping that things will change into what they aren't.

It is about time I had my own life and my daughter can see that instead of some pathetic shrew who took what she could get instead of making her own options.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Forms was not wearing kid gloves, but did speak the truth.

 

I will pose my suggestion to you again:

 

GO TO YOUR STATISTICS AND READ EVERY THREAD YOU HAVE STARTED.

 

Every answer you need is already there. You have given them yourself.

 

21 years old or not, I do believe that your profound dishonesty and willful disingenuity to be a huge problem for you, and I doubt it will just magically disappear as you age. I don't agree that severing ties with this loser will solve those issues, though it's a step that you absolutely must take in order to get your life on track.

 

Your alternative would be to STOP PRESENTING ALL OF HIS FAULTS AND THEN JUSTIFYING THEM. Simply be honest with yourself. "I am being used and treated like an old tired rag and I not only accept that, I actively seek it with him."

 

Personally, I hope you choose the option of removing yourself.

 

And then, get in some kind of therapy or 12 step program that will help you to learn how to be honest about what's going on in your life, with yourself and with other people.

 

I do wish you the best, and I share with you that though I was nothing like you, I too was a hot mess at 21. I had to eat a hugh amount of s*** before I got to the point where I realized how much work I needed to do on myself to salvage my life.

[Tasha49]

What more do you people want? I have ALREADY said that I know I am only hurting myself and that he doesn't love me and that this situation is no good.

 

All anyone is focusing on is me disagreeing with their posts but never has someone who has been rude focused on the fact that I am openly stating that I am aware that this situation is ****ty and that I am stupid to be in it. I have posted that people are right that he doesn't love me and that I REALIZE I NEED TO MOVE ON. But nope! No one cares about that. They only care about me not agreeing with parts in their masterpiece of a post. Heaven forbid! =\

 

It seems as though all people in this forum care about is looking right and one slight tiny disagreement and they start attacking them and take wild and absurd shots at the person they now have become just because they do not agree. But YET still the person asking for input still thanks them for trying to help.

 

I appreciate all of you who are not taking stabs at who I am and actually trying to help.

 

It is obvious no one wants help from someone who attacks you.

[Mme. Chaucer]

it does not mean I need to seek a therapist. That is the most terrible thing someone could tell me.

 

Seeking professional help is not shameful.

 

And then just because what someone says sounds smart... all these other posters come in saying, "Ope! Well this person sounds smart so I think they're right and this person does need some help."

 

Sorry, Tasha, but that's nonsense. Everybody is reacting in their own way TO WHAT YOU POST. Unless you are a troll (I don't think that), you are representing YOURSELF with your posts.

[Star Gazer]

Forms spoke the truth.

 

I can think of another poster that would help too.

[Hot Chick]

The roommate told you there was a girl with your boyfriend in his locked room. I would call that "tipping you off..." that he was sleeping with the girl.

[mo mo]

Of course I am going to snap back at someone questioning my intelligence and stability. When they could not be more off and all of these things hurt my feeling because I know who I am. I am in love and yes that may cloud my judgement a bit but it does not mean I need to seek a therapist. That is the most terrible thing someone could tell me. And then just because what someone says sounds smart... all these other posters come in saying, "Ope! Well this person sounds smart so I think they're right and this person does need some help."

 

Forms does not know a spec of the person I am. The reason I am so defensive is because of how blatently rude the comments are. People in here tend to go mental when the OP disagrees with their outlook. I even said there were things that have made me realize were no good but NOPE. i am still a brainless, psychotic lunatic who needs counseling because I denythe fact that they think they know EVERYTHING about my situation and that there is just no way there could be any holes in their analysis. Deny one single detail and OH NO I am all of a sudden some dumb broad who doesn't know myself and every word that is assumed about the person I am is wrong.

 

Read this thread and you tell me where the holes in analysis are.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t274487/

 

PS I didn't say we were questioning your intelligence and stability, I said you get defensive because you think we are when we pick apart the things you say. When people have emotions involved in a relationship, they get a wee bit irrational. It has been happening to you, it has happened to me, and pretty much everyone. There's no need to feel we are attacking you, we are only trying to help based upon the information you give.