flow15 Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I apologise in advance for the long post! My ex contacted me again just over a month ago after 6 months NC. (He broke up with me) I wasn't going to reply (many people told me not to- but I just couldnt), I wasn't angry anymore or upset, and I still care about him a lot and so I replied. We had a nice talk, we caught up like old friends. A week after I told him I was going to be in his city on holidays and he asked if I wanted to meet. At first I didn't think it was a good idea, but I thought long and hard about it and thought if I keep it short and sweet, there is no harm.. (I also wanted to see him, because last time we saw eachother I was a mess and I didn't want him to remember that of me. I've changed a lot and grown a lot since we broke up and I wanted him to see that I'm happy and stronger now). So we met up, and it was great.. we had fun and we were talking and joking like old friends, he didnt try anything although I could see in his eyes he missed me and was really happy to see me. He hugged me and stroked me.. but didnt try anything more. A few days later it was my birthday and I told him I was going to this famous club with my friends. He laughed and said if he hadn't contacted me we would have bumped into eachother anyway, as he was going to that club that night as his friend was djing! He said he could get me and my friends in to the club for free, which I thought was really nice for him to do. Anyway, so it was my birthday night and when I get to the club he comes up to me and hugs me and wishes me a happy bday, we talk briefly and he says he'll see me later. So i go to dance with my friends, we have a great time! The club was very small so he was with his friends dancing very near to where me and my friends were, and we would talk and joke everynow and then... whenever i was dancing i could feel him watching me the whole time. He grabbed my hand and asked to go talk, we were both quite drunk at this point so i cant remember much of the conversation, but what i do remember is that he kept saying it was so nice to see me and he kept hugging me, and he said i looked amazing....etc... then i would go back to my friends, dance some more, and he kept grabbing me and taking me away to talk again.... anyway after a while one thing led to another and we ended up kissing... it was amazing, we have such amazing chemistry and the spark is still there even after everything we've been through and after all this time... . it was the end of the night and we hugged and agreed to meet again before i left his city. After that we were texting a few days and he said to meet up on my last day before i leave and he would take me to the airport. I ended up spending the night at his as my flight was early in the morning.... We had an amazing night together, obviously we ended up sleeping together... the whole time we spent together was amazing, he was so affectionate, he kept bringing up little jokes we had from our past and we had loads of fun.. the connection was still there, it was like no time had passed and we had never broke up. He said i was different, he could tell i had changed.. i was more lighthearted, happy, funny....etc. He said, what happens with us? Whenever we see eachother its as if nothing has happened?! I didn't wanna talk about what was going on with us, or how he felt about me, as i didnt want to put any pressure on him and i wanted him to bring it up. but he didnt, but i thought its ok theres plenty of time for that, i dont want to rush anything. In the morning he took me to the airport, we hugged and kissed good bye and he said we'll speak soon. He said he would be in my city in a couple of weeks time and so I assumed that we would meet when he comes. When I landed i texted him and thanked him for the lift and he replied saying no need to say thanks, and he asked me how my flight was etc.. so i replied saying it was fine and i told him i enjoyed spending time with him and that it was nice we were finally getting on. i didnt get a reply until later on in the day asking if i had replied as he didnt receive anything. My phone has been acting up lately, so i sent the text again but didnt receive a reply. The next day i went on skype and saw him online so i wrote to him and said hey, i saw your text but im guessing mine didnt send again? he didnt reply.. and i went on skype a few times later on in the day and he was online everytime but didnt write to me. i know he was there because he changed his status, but i thought maybe he has friends over and cant talk... its been nearly 3 days now and he hasnt contacted me at all! What i find so strange is that if he didn't wanna speak at all, he never would have sent that text saying 'did u text back? i didnt receive anything' What I'm thinking is that either he thinks i want him back and hes realised he doesnt so he is backing off..... or i think he may be testing me to see if i really have changed.... because before when we were together if he didnt text back or reply i would send him loads of messages asking him why hes ignoring me. So im trying not to do that and letting him come to me... But its so strange!! We were being so friendly, joking around...he even sent that text saying he didnt receive anything and now nothing! What is going on?? I want to ask him why he hasnt responded, (unless he has but i havent received it-but then he could have written to me on skype, or called me!) or ask him what is going on I was so happy things were finally going so well for us again. But now that hes all of a sudden started ignoring me I'm so confused!! I thought things were going great... I wish I could tell him how I'm feeling but I know I can't. Anyone have any idea whats going on? Link to post Share on other sites
Troubled Heart Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I too recently thought my ex and I had made leaps and bounds in maintaining a normal relationship (friends, ex-lovers, whatever) only to be set back by his actions. We went to breakfast a few weeks ago and he told me that he would respond to me if I initiated contact. So I tested the waters by sending him a "hey, what's up text." He ignored it. So I thought, maybe he didn't get it because he made sure to state that he would respond. So I sent another text, testing the waters. He ignored it, again. So I went off the handle and really laid into him. He's going off to law school and I told him he would crack under the pressure. I'm not proud of my actions but it really helped me solidify why I don't need him in my life. I've already made the decision, based on his recent actions, that I don't ever want him in my life again. He is immature, selfish, and wouldn't even be a good friend to him. If he said he wanted to be friends and then treats me like a leper, he isn't worth it. The phone number is erased, the gchat is blocked. I suggest you run as fast as you can from him because as your EX, he should be treating you with kid gloves and not pulling a disappearing act when it's convenient for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flow15 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thanks for the reply.. I just wish he could be honest with me and just tell me whats going on. Anyone else?? Link to post Share on other sites
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I think that what happened is same as whats going on with me...they miss us cause we are gone from their lives and they think "oh i need to see her i miss her what if she's moved on what of she doesnt love me" and then we go right ahead and let them right back into our hearts and minds and lives and they think "Oh there she is-right where i left her" and they go back to thinking...challenge and mystery are over....we are there where they want us. i see it as my ex left me in the ocean without a life vest and there i am trying to survive and in pain and he just takes off in his boat...and when he wants me...he knows where i am...still there drowning trying to stay alive in the ocean....and when i start swimming the other way...there he comes in his boat making sure i'm still just in the ocean and he leaves again...and again i'm drowning...hopelessly thinking he's finally gonna lift me into his boat and save me..but nope...he leaves me there again to suffer....and i need to decide...okay do i want to drown and die or do i want to finally swim to safety....and stop waiting for him to rescue me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author flow15 Posted August 3, 2011 Author Share Posted August 3, 2011 Thats very interesting what u said about drowning in the ocean, i like that... I'm just really angry, because even if he isn't interested in me anymore, we were finally getting along so well, and all the pain and anger was in the past and i would have been fine if we just stayed as friends (or civil) as we still care about eachother. But the fact that he ignores me and cant even contact me... it annoys me as it makes me think that he never cared about me at all and that the way he was acting last week was all an act. The weirdest thing is he was texting me last week after i left, he even asked if i had replied when he didnt receive my text...so if he cared that i hadnt replied to him, how can he go from that to just dissappearing? strange... Link to post Share on other sites
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 we always want what we cant have...when we think we dont have it we go nuts we put in extra effort...when we know we have it..we don't want it anymore...thats how... Link to post Share on other sites
Author flow15 Posted August 5, 2011 Author Share Posted August 5, 2011 False alarm.. he has made contact! He didn't receive my messages, my phone hasn't been working properly. He has asked to meet up, so we will see what happens!! I want to try to talk to him about whats going on when we see eachother, but I don't know how to go about it.. any suggestions?? Link to post Share on other sites
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