so its been a few years...

[Dblock10]

Its been a long while since i've been in this section of the forum. It was years ago when i was going through a first love break up, and this place helped me through. Please can I get some support now. sorry this is long.

 

this is about my most recent relationship with a girl i met through university who has now graduated and I have 2 years left. i'm a mess atm writing this, had a little cry with no one to hear the tears drop, and just feel lost and out of control about this.

 

My gf is leaving me to go travelling for 6 months in a month's time. She is going with a best friend.

 

basically we agreed it would be best to take a break as not being able to see each other would cause uncertainties and worry, and its just stress we both dont need at this time in our lives. And she says being with someone you cant actually be with for 6 months isnt a relationship and she wouldnt want that, it just wouldn't work, if we tried to make it work the relationship would struggle and we would end up splitting up anyway.

 

I dont want to loose her and never did, this is the problem. It was me however who initially said it wouldnt work, in a hope that she would give me an indication that she did want it to work. however when i mentioned meeting her at x mass to break the travel in two, she never sounded keen.

 

She never told me what she wanted to happen and i was worried if i didnt pressure it then it would get left to the last minute with her not wanting to be with me, or nothing would be decided, she leaves then decides its not what she wants whilst shes out there.

 

but now when talking to her about it she has now decided that she just doesn't want to be in a difficult relationship whilst shes away and agrees that what i said makes sense, it would cause to much pressure etc. she wants to just enjoy herself and not have to worry about anyone back home and wants me to feel the same.

 

She wants me to enjoy myself whilst i'm at uni and not to be left moping about after her. And she would like to see me when she is back, but no one will know what will be happening around that time, its a long way off.

 

but she doesnt want me to hold onto false hope because nothing is a promise. she cant promise she will come back and we go back out, she cant promise she will even stick around the UK.

 

she is sorry for putting me in this situation. I explained to her how im finding it difficult to except

 

and basically I havent seen her now since end of june this year. She lives long distance from me and is working every hour under the sun to pay for the trip and its expenses. She cant therefore get time off so we can spend time together before she goes.

 

however I am going to a friends birthday party this saturday and will be 40 minutes away from her. We agreed it would be nice to meet up when I drive past hers. However she isn't sure on her hours and she may only end up having 3 hours spare..

 

 

i would really love to see her, but i know it would tear me apart. I don't know what else to say. this hurts so much. knowing you;ve lost or losing someone you care about due to the circumstances rather than because you got cheated on or fell out.

 

[lovesickmonkey]

Well, I think LoveShackers are going to have a consensus on this one. If you're both agreed that the relationship won't tolerate a six-month separation, then it ain't much of a relationship. It's a fairly casual arrangement, at best, am I right? And if being apart causes one or both of you to "worry" about the other, then things are not so solid. I've known couples your age who take long separations in stride, each having faith and confidence that the other, while having a great time, won't be unfaithful. It sounds like you don't have that with this girl. I would begin stepping back and putting her in the proper place in your life ... as a lover of convenience.

[onlyafool]

but now when talking to her about it she has now decided that she just doesn't want to be in a difficult relationship whilst shes away and agrees that what i said makes sense, it would cause to much pressure etc. she wants to just enjoy herself and not have to worry about anyone back home and wants me to feel the same.

 

Unfortunately, you played your hand by saying you didn't think a 6 month split would work. She called your bluff and agreed. I'm betting when she heard you say that, she put some thought to it.

 

This is what she's told you:

"I don't want to feel bad about hooking up with someone else."

But she also told you:

"I don't want you to feel bad about hooking up with someone else either."

I would suggest not keeping this casual relationship going, because it's not casual for you. You have real feelings for this girl and you'll only end up getting hurt in the end if you keep going down this path.

[Dblock10]

thanks for those replies!

 

I hear what you both say, however the main reason was because she said we would argue and then probably fall out anyway and it would be worse because it would ruin anything for the future. And that she just dosnt want any worries or to have to worry about being in a relationship. dosnt want pressures from back home. and really wants to enjoy her time travelling.

 

she said, if you where at a party and someone was hitting on you or something, i wouldnt want to be thinking about that kind of thing whilst im gone.

 

i said yeah but u trust me enough, so..

 

she said, yeah but its not just about trust. i just dont want to have to think anything about relationship stuff whilst im gone. its nothing to do with you, we still like each other, its just this situation.

 

she said being with someone you cant see for 6 months isnt a relationship, why would you want that? i wouldnt want to do that.

you havent heard from me in 4 days and your like this (meaning angry/wondering why ive not heard from her) already and i've not even left yet!

 

and this btw is because i always txt her or call her first. if i don't, she wouldn't bother! so it appeared, she is working all hours now to save for the trip, thats her top priority.

 

she said, i want you to have fun, enjoy uni, move on. when i'm back i don't know if i'm going to settle in the uk or go off to do a ski season etc. i don't want you to hold onto false hope. i cant promise what i'll be doing when i'm back i cant promise anything just to make you happy. i dont want you moping about when im gone. just want you to have fun.

 

and yeah of course id like to meet you, wether its as friends or more i don't know yet, you might have a gf!

 

 

it seems i took this relationship more seriously than she did, id do anything for this girl. and it would seem i was a lover of convenience to her as you say.

 

she never prioritised me over her friends and she would say "i always told you i was going travelling, i never tried to hide that from you"

 

i told her im finding it hard to come to terms with this. and she said i know im sorry i put you in this situation.

 

 

 

@onlyafool

 

 

Yeah i did because she never told me what she wanted to happen. she just said i havent thought about it. and me being me, wanted to know, as i didnt want to be the one getting let down, 3-4 months down the road when she left. and i just was searching for reassurance from her. but never got it. i mentioned going to aus at x mas to see her to break the travel in two. she never seemed keen at all. just mentioned money and how i wouldnt be able to afford it.

 

i told her i was falling for her, and asked how she felt about me, she said she really likes me...

 

but yeah she did say, i thought about what you said, and it makes sense. it would cause to much pressure on the relationship. communication wouldnt be great and would cause upset, what if i couldn't speak to you for a while. its unfair to make you wait.

 

and i said, so you want to explore your options whilst your gone then. she quickly said, "yeah cause thats why im going travelling" in a sarcastic manor

 

 

so whatare you saying i do. not see her before she leaves?

 

you are right i do have real feelings for her. Should i try and now get her to stay with me? it seems she really dosnt want a relationship when she is away. and tbh i think she would have come to that conclusion when she went if we hadnt brought it to a head sooner.

 

she is VERY indecisive and unless i had said i dont think it would work, then she would have never decided anything.

 

however i did tell her why i said i didnt think it would work. and it was my insecurities talking but she isnt just any girl to me, i think about you all the time and i really do care about you.

 

 

what can i do? cause i dont want to loose her, but at the same time staying together would be very very hard and almost to much to ask.

 

we were only together 6-7 months!

 

 

Edited August 3, 2011 by Dblock10

[Karala]

Should i try and now get her to stay with me?

 

Nope, I think you should take the initiative to break up with her, because the relationship is over already anyway, and your self-esteem will thank you in the long run.

 

This girl obviously does not deserve the intensity of your affection, and obviously doesn't feel the same about you. It sucks, but reclaim your pride by breaking up with her and go search for a girl that will truly appreciate you!

[Dblock10]

Nope, I think you should take the initiative to break up with her, because the relationship is over already anyway, and your self-esteem will thank you in the long run.

 

This girl obviously does not deserve the intensity of your affection, and obviously doesn't feel the same about you. It sucks, but reclaim your pride by breaking up with her and go search for a girl that will truly appreciate you!

 

thanks for your reply

 

yeah, well its basically been agreed we break up and its pretty much from now since its a LDR atm anyway.. i don't think its necessary to call up and say its done. We kinda both know how it is

if i did do that, she would probably say yeah.. thats what i thought we talked about.

 

She must know i didnt want to break up. but she is set on going her own way now, i know its not that we stopped liking each other its just this situation. (which is kinda what i said to her to start with)

 

but before we had had the "talk" or before i had even said anything about us, that i would wait for her and could go out to aus to see her, she sounded unsure, saying "yeah but is that what you want? would you want to wait for me"

 

and I said yes i would. and she would say but is that what you'd rather do..

 

kinda went in circles. and yeah maybe at that point she was looking for reasurrance from me. but its clear she has properly thought about it now and accepted reality that "being in a relationship with some one you cant see for 6 months which is the length of time we have been together, isnt a realtionship. its just a difficult situation and i dont want the stress or worry at this time in my life. i just want to fully enjoy the experience of travelling"

 

and tbh this is fair enough. id feel the same if it were me in her shoes.

 

she has obviously met up with her friend whom she is going with (who is also single), and because she is unsure of her whole future basically she doesnt want to be in a relationship. its not a reflection on me, just where she is at in life. cant make any promises.

 

shes 21. still very young. the world is calling her now. Uni is in the past. i am part of that past.

 

yeah i do feel like im whittling away my self esteem. I wrote her a nice message i wanted to send. I dont know if i should or not? its not begging for her back. just explains how i feel about her. but part of me thinks she might think its a bit full on? on the other hand she might really like it and think wow he really does care deeply about me.

 

oh and last night, i txt her about her weekend shift. she said yeh i have sunday off.

 

she didn't add, so shall we arrange something etc...

 

so i txt her today and said ah thats good, do you want to arrange something then??

 

she didnt reply.

 

probably if i dont txt again and i dont hear from her, if i mentioned it, she would prob just say oh i never got that txt. Who knows. she ignored it for a reason. or wants to move on from me to, so its not hard for her either.

 

 

i feel sad about this whole thing, this really is a horrible situation. the only thing is its like she has never displayed any sadness during this whole break up.. but as its Long distance, maybe she has. She did say she had been thinking about me.

 

and now its over. i need to move on. but i dont know how. its like i dont want to. but do at the same time, i guess i always knew this travelling was going to happen i just didnt prepare myself emotionally for it.

 

maybe one day she will be with me again, who knows. all i know is, i need to focus on my life and make myself happy. thats all i can do.

 

i just wish things could have been different.

Edited August 4, 2011 by Dblock10

[onlyafool]

we were only together 6-7 months!

 

It all boils down to this ^^^

 

You're in the honeymoon period still and this bit of news, where she's leaving for 6 months, is an awful lot to deal with in a new relationship. You think you know this girl, but in actuality she's lived 20+ years of life and you've only known her for 6 months of it. You've barely scratched the surface of knowing her as a person and she's not going to be around for you to find out more.

 

I'm sorry friend, but based on her unwillingness to get together one last time before she leaves, I think you should take your control back and initiate NC. No more texts, no more emails, don't say goodbye when she leaves, nothing. I know it's hard, but trust us when we say it's for the best. It really is.

 

Start your healing today. Look at her being gone for 6 months as a good thing! Out of sight, out of mind.

[Single Sid]

From previous experience a long time ago, someone i loved very much and vice versa got a job offer for 3 months to start and then see where both were after the initial 3 months, this job was in the states, we lived in the uk.

 

In our 20's at the time and myself had travelled europe quite well through my teenage years and also asia for some months during my early 20's.

I knew this would be a tough decision but know these kind of oppurtunities only come along once in a lifetime so i suggested it would be a great experience for her to do it and supported her in whatever decision she chose.

Reminding her 3months is only 12 weeks and if it didnt work out then at least she wont have the regret of never doing it and she could come home.

 

She decided to do it, which i thought was wonderful and brave of her, few weeks before her departure the emotions started to arrive for us both as the time approached ever nearer.

it almost felt like i was throwing away the one person i actually wanted closest to me in my life, we both felt it. the talks ensued and i eventually mentioned about us splitting for the duration of her time away to enable us both see where we both wanted to be in life in the short term and long term but we would definately stay in contact throughout.

 

Her departure was very emotional, way more emotional than both of us ever thought it would be TBH. The contact was weekly or so, somtimes her upset at being so far away from her normal reality, and sometimes it was the beauty of experiencing a new and wonderful life.

 

The fact remind though after 3 months decisions were to be made about her future, the fact she had big family ties here was a mjor factor in her returning to the uk after 3 months.

 

yes, she returned and we picked up where we left off instantly we met eyes through the arrivals lounge 3 months later.

 

She held nothing against and maybe even it taught her a lot of respect for me knowing how strong my/our feelings were at that point.

 

so to the point, this is really a once in alifetime opputunity for her to travel and see the delights of the world, 6 months is a short time and its not a job shes off too so her return to your homeland is almost inevitible.

 

Seriously, support them and even show a little jelously at how you would love see the world one day and the delights and cultures it has to offer, even offer to see them off to the airport this be a great lasting impression.

Be positive, they are out to see the delights of the world and then returning home. They might feel different upon their return, but if you leave things on a real positive, loving and supportive note when they depart then i feel upon their return if they remember what they had was good then no doubt just like comfort of being home or mothers cooking they will be back for more.

 

hope this helps you see a little light on the positive side, its hard i know, but think a little past tomorrow. It makes it easier when you know your doing for the good of someone you love dearly.

[Dblock10]

Thanks again for the replies. i know she is unwilling to meet.

 

she just txt me saying about the weekend, "up to you if you want to, i most likely will have work on monday tho" x

 

so this is clear she doesnt want to. i cant figure out why though. maybe she is trying to run from the situation and is trying to prepare herself as well?

 

or maybe she genuinely lost feelings for me now? i really don't know what to think

 

i think if i dont go, the future wont look bright as she will just remember breaking up over a phone call.

 

single sid. i'm not going to change her decision, like you i think its best you wish them well and make them remember you will be there when they get back.

 

cause to be honest there isnt a lot else I can do.

 

 

yeah i know going NC would work. but i dont want to loose this one. i care about her to much. i think for once i should face my fears and embrace it. we still care about each other. i think shes just finding this difficult and is trying to move on herself to ease her pain.

 

i think seeing each other would be nice. the problem is, we will act like nothing has happened. But i was going to write her a letter perhaps?

 

hey, ive been thinking about everything again recently and i cant help but to feel sad about it. I was always serious about our relationship and where it was going, i never thought that the travelling would end the good thing that we had together, but i understand its something special you are going to do.

I no myself i only said i wasnt sure it would work because of my insecurities and i was worried that you wouldnt want to commit to me for the 6 months. nothing else. i let bad thoughts get the better of me so tried to protect myself. I have real feelings for you and I think about you an awful lot. When we first met we instantly clicked and everything flowed naturally, its like it was meant to be. And for the first time in years i l was able to let my guard down. and it hurts now that its going to be taken away from me. I wont forget the times we have shared together and It would be nice to have more in the future. I just wanted to let you know my feelings for you.

 

 

or do you think this would be wrong? i'm not sure whats best in this situation. i don't want it to sound like goodbye. i don't want it to persuade her to change her mind. I just want it to be a heart felt note.

 

i wont say good bye, just bye for now and see you soon

 

 

suggestions? input? also I havent txt back yet. i think i'll do it tomorrow now

[Dblock10]

hello again guys, bit of an update for you, maybe you can help me out, voice your opinion. i appreciate anyone who reads and can help .

 

I hope I can still get some help on this thread, sorry for the length, I feel it all needs to be said so you can get a proper idea on the situation, plus you may just be interested?!

 

so..

 

I went to see her! ! and it took balls i can tell you.

 

first time in 6 weeks would you believe..

 

so the build up to meeting her was like this >

 

through txt's she seemed reluctant to meet me as you know. When i spoke to her about meeting up sunday on her "day off" we got onto the conversation of how many days it is until she leaves, and she then told me how its less than that, because she has booked off a couple days for her friend to come and see her, and another weekend off to go to a friends birthday...!

 

i said , oh i thought you said you couldn't get any time off at all due to money and time from work etc? (this is what she had told me) she said "well no cause i booked this time off ages ago when i first started working here" ..

so i said well can you not book any time off for me then?

she was like, well no cause you havent given me enough time to, and as i say its all booked off now, i cant afford to book any more... im at work now. speak later..

 

this hurt as, she missed my birthday and promised to make it up to me, she was telling me that she cant book any time off due to money and also how the place works where she is working will mean if she takes any time off then the manager will give her less hours in future... and how someone got fired as they took 2 days off..

 

And also had told me how "its not just you i cant see its my friends family etc" ive told them all the same thing...

 

so yeah that made me feel ****ty to say the least. But i just accepted it was because she knew we would end, so she didnt want to sacrifice work money etc to see me.

 

anyway onto..

 

the meeting.

 

 

I drove down to see her 2 + hours away. Stopped at some services to freshen up, i txt her telling her i was at the services and will be at hers shortly.

 

no reply..

 

 

turned up at hers, i was soo nervous, not knowing what it would be like to see her once again. so I sat in my car and rang her, she picked up

 

me: "hey, how you doing?!! what you up to?"

 

her: "hey, yeah im good, just in the kitchen with mum and sis, how are you? what you up to?"

 

me "im here!" so...

 

her" oh right, come on in then.

 

me" dont you wanna come out to greet me?

 

her" erm ok (if i have to, kinda attitude)

 

 

she walks out and doesn't run to me or anything, sort of shyly wobbles towards me, no make up on or hair done lol. I hug her, give each other a quick kiss on the lips walk into her house. We then go in, i speak to her mum and sis, its a little surreal when you haven't seen them for 6 weeks and after everything. but that soon faded. It soon felt ok.

 

We went for a walk together and it was nice, a little awkward in terms of affection, but it was early days. We walked down past her work and i had my arm around her.

 

she seemed a little different, as if she didnt know what to do with herself. since she never gets time off work.

 

anyway there isnt a lot to do where she lives, so we then went to the beach and climbed on the rocks and sat with each other, laughing, chilling out. it was peaceful.

 

after this, we walked home as we got very wet from the rain downfall. This was about 5 oclock. I then got changed and dressed nicely.

 

we went for a meal, and this is when it felt nice like old times, you could tell she was more like her old self. We sat at the dinner table and were enjoying each others company, hands were on the table and we were playing with each others fingers, touching, stroking, smiling. felt great. I told her how my nan was very ill and hasnt got much longer, so tomorrow ill need to drive for 4 hours to go see her. she was very sorry and comforted me. as her nan has just had the same thing happen to her. (stroke)

 

after this we then drove to watch a film at the cinema, and again, cuddled in the cinema and held hands etc.

 

after this, i let her drive my car back to hers, she was really happy about this because she doesn't get to drive often. it must have been about 11pm. i didn't really know if i would be staying the night with her, but we stopped to buy a bottle of wine, so i knew it was ok for me to stay the night which was nice.

 

got back to hers, sat on her bed in the silence of the big room she has, general chit chat, she said, oh my word, ive got to make the biggest decision of my life.. i was like what?, i need to decide what pair of shoes to take with me!

we soon got really tiered, we made the bed up and she got changed into her night outfit, t shirt and girl boxer things.

 

anyway, in bed nothing sexual happened between us. we didnt even intimately kiss each other. and she was claiming it tickled when i touched her. i knew this is just her not wanting to get involved with me and trying to stay emotionally distant. Anyway the next part of this story is about the talk.

 

the talk

 

So it was dark in her room, we were both laying there in bed with an almost awkward silence about it. so to me it was clear she wasn't going to bring everything up, so i mentioned it and broke the silence. I said, it feels weird that i haven't seen you for 6 weeks. I then asked her if she meant what she said on the phone, and I told her why i said what i said about how i didnt think it would work but really i didn't mean it, it was my insecurities speaking and bad thoughts in my head, i was looking for reassurance which i never got.

 

i told her i was worried that she wouldn't want to commit to me for the 6 months, nothing else. I never wanted to break up i was just worried and didnt want to not sayi anything and then for it to become more pressured nearer the time.

 

she said, "yeah i hadn't thought about it properly till you said first, and to be honest 6 months is a long time, it wouldn't work, you cant see one another for that long its going to cause arguments and it isnt even a relationship. have you every done a long distance relationship? cause I've done two long distance relationships before and let me tell you they just dont work. I am so bad. Im rubbish at communication, you'd get angry and annoyed at me, i wouldn't want for us to end that way, i want to end on good terms so the future isn't left badly. And who knows what will happen when i'm back.

 

me: "but we wouldn't argue, i would know you couldn't keep in touch all the time, i would be expecting that. i'm 24 now, not 18.. i can handle it.

 

her: yeah but im 21!

 

Ive done uni and all education and now i just want to be free, enjoy my time fully whilst travelling with my best friend and just totally enjoy it, i don't want any stresses and pressures from a relationship, i wouldn't want to be worrying about you and visa versa"

 

"i dont want to feel guilty, like when you meet new people, if you are with someone you act differently, i wouldn't want to be thinking hmm i wonder if "x" would be happy about me doing this. and its not because i want to be getting with other people. do you know what i mean?"

 

me: "yeah but i know we can fully trust each other and have enough faith in each other to have a great time and enjoy everything whilst being faithful to one another"

 

her: " i dont doubt that, i know i can trust you" its not just about that though.

not only that, i honestly do not know what i am going to be doing when i get back and if we stayed together and i wouldn't want to feel obliged to then do something that revolved around you, knowing that you had waited six months, for me to then just announce i'm off to do "xyz" for another 6 months for example, it isn't fair on you. i know it sounds selfish i'm sorry.

i just cant make any promises to you.

 

me: like my birthday..

 

her: -nothing-

 

 

me: "so you want to break up then"

 

her" well no but it seems like there isn't any options. it seems like we don't have a choice given the circumstances.

 

her: its like that saying about that butterfly.. but i cant remember the saying, something about letting it go.

 

i said, oh you mean, if you love something, let it go, if it comes back then its yours, if not then it was never yours to start with.

 

 

she said: yeah thats it!

 

me: so your basing our break up on a saying lol.

 

her: no haha, just it seems to fit this scenario.

 

we should still keep each other updated with our lives though.

 

 

then i stopped asking her, as it seemed like everything was said. nothing more I could have said. I respected her answer and thats all i can do.

 

i asked for a birthday kiss and she just layed there and made a kiss noise.

 

 

the ending

 

as they say, all good things come to an end

 

next morning, i got up, packed my case, she walked me to the car. we stood there looking at each other. i said, i really don't want to say goodbye, hopefully just bye for now, see you soon, i want you to come with me.

 

her: "oh im sorry"

 

she said 6 months you mean! dont worry its not long..

 

i said, thats not what you said last night! she said, "i know i was just trying to make you feel better"

 

we hugged each other for ages, i said, well i hope you have a great time, i know you will. take care.

 

if you get any time off work and want to do anything, let me know.

 

her: yeah i will, it just depends on work and stuff.

 

me: so.. hopefully see you when you get back, thats if you want to see me, i doubt it!

 

her: more like you wouldnt want to see me, all the fun at university your'll be having!

 

me: yeah right. all that work! think of all the fun your have travelling!

 

her: well we shall see wont we!

 

me: i guess we will!

 

 

kissed her a couple times, on the lips.

 

got in my car and waved bye to her. hit the road to go visit my nan.

 

since then (last sunday) iv'e not heard from her

 

how i feel now

 

I'm wondering if i ever will hear from her now. I hope i do, i almost know i will. but before she goes travelling, will she actually bother?

was she being sincere, or making excuses?! do i ask her? i'm finding it hard to accept that its over.

 

i find it hard she hasn't asked how my nan was doing, being as she knew the bad news i had told her at the meal.

 

again so sorry for the length of this. I need input. i feel i did the right thing seeing her again, but sad its over. and sad she didnt want to give it a try.

 

i feel almost left behind, and its hard knowing she wont be at uni again.

 

maybe this was for the best ultimately, maybe she wasnt who i wanted her to be, nor would she turn into the person i had made up in my head!

 

i would do anything for this girl hence why i went to see her one last time and to make a lasting good impression, i would always drop plans for her and base decisions around her. but for her it would seem that was never really the case.

 

its hard. and now, what do i do? she mentioned keeping each other updated with our lives, but this could be empty words, did she really mean it?

 

will i find out?

 

do i not contact her from now and see what happens?

 

if i dont hear from her from now for weeks and weeks before she goes then what?

 

i know now i need to move on, and time will naturally allow this.

Edited August 10, 2011 by Dblock10

[onlyafool]

She's leaving for half a year. A lot can happen in that amount of "away" time. She's 21 years old, graduated from college AND traveling. She doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship. Plain and simple. At least she told you ahead of time, instead of you thinking things were fine and then she leaves and you get the silent treatment.

 

That being said....I think you did the right thing by seeing her. At the very least you received some amount of closure. She's told you where she's at mentally and you need to respect that. In doing so, the silence you are experiencing from her is a favor you need to return.

 

You're 24 years young my friend. Focus on studies, yourself and moving on. Do not contact her from this point forward, you'll regret it if you do. You wished her well on her travels and left the door open to contact you at any point. The ball is in her court to do so. If she doesn't, so be it, but at least you can walking away knowing you said your peace. A lot of people on LS (or life for that matter) never get that chance. Consider yourself lucky.

[Dblock10]

thats right she is young, graduated and doesn't want to be tied. I told her how i hoped the travelling would help maybe direct her in what she wants out of life.

 

its good we settled it now as you say, instead of watching it fall to pieces once she goes. I feel she would have come to the conclusion she wants to be single even if we did stay together, so its better its out now.

 

at least she was honest and didnt keep me there just as an option..

 

to be honest, shes got the best degree ( a first in science/maths ) so she wont find it hard doing anything she likes!

 

yeah it felt like the right thing to do by going to meet her, i would have hated leaving it said and done over the phone.

I dont feel so worried or upset now. But i do realise its going to be hard, i really did like her. I feel like she is different to other girls ive been with. but then again at the same time, feels like i never "truely" knew her since it was only a short space of time in certain conditions. i.e uni!

 

I feel sad that it had to end here, id have very much liked to continue what we had. but its just not to be.

 

I am indeed going to focus on studies and myself. I will move on, i know i'm going to have set backs, i just need to know how to not let these set backs really get to me :S i find it hard meeting new girls and actually finding one i like with feelings, and for them to feel the same. its like a seriously hard thing to get right.

 

the door is open which is nice, better than having a bad break up when it feels awful and you hate the person!

 

i guess the ball is in her court. i would really like to see her in the future very much so, even if its just to catch up. I just hope i feel differently about everything by then so that i'm not upset about everything.

 

you never know, i could potentially have something with this girl again in the future. but i'm not going to be thinking this way. as i wouldn't want to be disappointed.

Edited August 10, 2011 by Dblock10

[Dblock10]

ok so now i feel angry/upset that im being left behind and that she didnt want the relationship anymore.

 

why get into one to start with. im so angry and upset

 

feels like shes getting away with it almost. dont know if i like that.