An old "semi-flame"s brother is interested in me. What to do?

[Rifka]

Okay, about two months ago I was visiting another country and I stayed with some friends of the family.

 

One evening I was invited to stay over at of the cousin's places. Well, this guy was really hospitable towards me, made me dinner and then started coming onto me in a very subtle way by asking me if I wanted a massage. His girlfriend was due to arrive that same evening and we were all going to go out to visit their friends. Since I knew he had a girlfriend I didn't think anything of getting a massage, but later on it was obvious that he liked touching me.

 

He kept saying he "didn't want anything" and we were just relaxing...but then he began fondling me and I resisted and told him it wasn't a good idea because his girlfriend was coming. It was really strange because at one point I began to feel a physical attraction towards him even though I knew he wasnn't my type. It was at this point that I had to force myself to get up and tell him that this was getting too dangereous and that I'd better go out and come back when his girlfriend was due to arrive. He agreed with me, but still touched me through clothing. I'm sure that if I had decided to stay we could have ended up having sex and afterwards it would have been a disaster.

 

Just before going out the door, he said to me,"Please don't make problems for me in front of my girlfriend. We can have more of 'this' another time."

 

When I came back I met his girlfriend who was really nice, and I got along with her, but He on the other hand, treated me really badly the whole evening. He practically ignored me. I was really offened by this behaviour. The next day we all went to the beach with him and a group of people, and he still treated me like a piece of ++++, so out of hurt I began criticizing him in front of all his friends, telling him he was a primitive man, with no class and that he didn't deserve to have such a nice girlfriend. He told me he didn't want to hear such kinds of things, but I replied,

 

"I don't care. I'm just observing what I see. I've got nothing to loose."

 

I almost had the urge to tell his girlfriend how he had behaved the other night, but when I realized it was not worth the effort I kept quiet. He later told me that everything I had said was right and that I was a true friend.

 

Well today back at home, I met this guy's younger brother who lives in LA and is here for the weekend to see his cousins. We "hit it off" really well and there was instant chemistry between us. His brother asked me out tomorrow, but I declined because I have a suspicion he might be like his brother in a milder way. I don't want to make myself too available to fast. Anyhow, I already had plans tommorrow to visit other friends. That only leaves Sunday. What should I do? Call him up and change my mind about going out with him?

[Rifka]

s

Okay, about two months ago I was visiting another country and I stayed with some friends of the family. One evening I was invited to stay over at of the cousin's places. Well, this guy was really hospitable towards me, made me dinner and then started coming onto me in a very subtle way by asking me if I wanted a massage. His girlfriend was due to arrive that same evening and we were all going to go out to visit their friends. Since I knew he had a girlfriend I didn't think anything of getting a massage, but later on it was obvious that he liked touching me. He kept saying he "didn't want anything" and we were just relaxing...but then he began fondling me and I resisted and told him it wasn't a good idea because his girlfriend was coming. It was really strange because at one point I began to feel a physical attraction towards him even though I knew he wasnn't my type. It was at this point that I had to force myself to get up and tell him that this was getting too dangereous and that I'd better go out and come back when his girlfriend was due to arrive. He agreed with me, but still touched me through clothing. I'm sure that if I had decided to stay we could have ended up having sex and afterwards it would have been a disaster. Just before going out the door, he said to me,"Please don't make problems for me in front of my girlfriend. We can have more of 'this' another time." When I came back I met his girlfriend who was really nice, and I got along with her, but He on the other hand, treated me really badly the whole evening. He practically ignored me. I was really offened by this behaviour. The next day we all went to the beach with him and a group of people, and he still treated me like a piece of ++++, so out of hurt I began criticizing him in front of all his friends, telling him he was a primitive man, with no class and that he didn't deserve to have such a nice girlfriend. He told me he didn't want to hear such kinds of things, but I replied, "I don't care. I'm just observing what I see. I've got nothing to loose." I almost had the urge to tell his girlfriend how he had behaved the other night, but when I realized it was not worth the effort I kept quiet. He later told me that everything I had said was right and that I was a true friend. Well today back at home, I met this guy's younger brother who lives in LA and is here for the weekend to see his cousins. We "hit it off" really well and there was instant chemistry between us. His brother asked me out tomorrow, but I declined because I have a suspicion he might be like his brother in a milder way. I don't want to make myself too available to fast. Anyhow, I already had plans tommorrow to visit other friends. That only leaves Sunday. What should I do? Call him up and change my mind about going out with him?

[Rifka]

s

[Tony T]

You seem to be able to handle yourself just fine, so if you want to go out with the guy by all means do so.

 

You are very lucky to be able to achieve chemistry so quickly with men...or is it just the men in this butthole's family?

 

Are you always to quick to allow strange men with girlfriends who are not licensed message therapists give you a message?

 

I hope you won't point your entire finger at this guy and label him a filanderer or philanderer. You played a significant and willing role in this.

 

I am proud of you for getting up as you became aroused and finally setting some boundaries. He may have interpreted that as a tease because up to that point you had been quite a willing subject. That may explain his silence towards you the next day.

 

Perhaps if you set more solid boundaries for yourself around men with girlfriends, this may not result.

 

I really enjoy messages myself so I don't blame you for taking advantage of the offer...but there was a price to pay.