help please! my bf hangs out with his ex and i dont know what to do

[jenn72luvzu]

My names Jenny and i met my boyfriend about a year and half ago, and we have been together a little over a year. When i met him, he talked about his ex gf all the time..but not to the point where i hated it, just like here and there if she fit into our conversation, which occured many times.

 

So at that time, he said that she was a bitch, and they broke up and she was with some new guy, and it had been about a year since they had broken up at that time. Well, they had been together 3 and a half years, he bought her an engagement ring, they had sex, they were both planning to get married, he just never asked her to get married.

 

Well, last summer, a few months into me and his relationship, one morning at 3 a.m. she calls him drunk and he leaves his room, we were sleeping, and they talked for like 20 minutes. He didnt like her then, so he told her he had to go bc i was there, so they got off the phone. then she called back and left a message on his phone saying im sorry blabla.

 

So, since that happened, they started talking. Now he is friends with her, and it makes me soooooooooooooooooooooooooo jealous, because ive seen pictures of her and she is so gorgeous. He doesnt hang out with her that often, just here and there, but what makes me mad is that i feels like he still likes her. One reason for this is because before she called him and they started talking again i was like if your ex gf wanted you back would you take her and his answer was i dont know. so that made me pretty upset, we were out somewhere and he may have not been thinking about it really, im not really sure. anyways,

 

the point is that he wont let me hang out with him and her, hes lied to me about calling her, he said he almost made up a story about last week when he did hang out with her, but he didnt, basically, i know alot about her bc he used to talk about her alot, i know how bad it was for him when they broke up, i know that they were attatched at the hip when they were together and were so in love and everybody thought they were going to be married for sure. I dont know what to do anymore because i just hate the fact that he still has to keep in contact with her. please someone tell me what i should do. oh yeah, and he hasnt said he loves me.

[Sarah12385]

get out.

 

lol, harsh i know, but the same thing happened to me. go read my old posts if you don't believe me. little more to the story than yours, but basically the same.

 

i know it's gonna hurt for a while, believe me, but something better out there is waiting for you. you don't need to deal with the stress for one thing, and second of all, he doesn't seem all that clear with the relationship he has with you.

 

maybe tell him you don't feel comfortable with the current situation w/his ex. you have every right to feel the way you do. hell i was jealous too! lol just tried not to show it.

 

if i was in your place, i would get out before if got worse.

 

*hug* good luck

 

 

~Sarah~

[bluechocolate]

Sorry to say this, but Sarah is right.

 

If there were just friends I see no reason why you shouldn't be included in their plans, no reason why he should lie to you about contact with her and in the past he couldn't give you a straight answer about wanting to get back with her.

[Debster]

I was in a relationship with a guy who kept coming back to me and saying all the right things to get back together. The thing was, he never once said he loved me after about a year and a half (off and on). I kept making excuses for it.

 

Now that I am in a happy, healthy relationship with my fiance (who said he loved me after about two months - spending time with each other every day) I realized - if after a year, the guy hasn't said he loves you - he doesn't.

 

Sorry to be blunt. Hey, I've been there. The truth is some guys will stay with someone they like a lot, are comfortable with, attracted to, enjoy spending time with and everything is wonderful - except they don't love you. They want the status quo until they can find someone they do love.

 

I say find someone who loves you.

[xxbrokentoyxx]

I agree with sarah and debster. Get out, now, he obviously is not in love with you and wants to be with her. Again i say it to sorry to be blunt but he's probably just holding on to you for a safety net in case him and his ex dont get back together. If that happends there will be no love and it will fail just hurt a hell of a lot more. Also, if he hasnt started already he seems on the verge of cheating. get out please. This way, the pain will be less, you will be able to heal and find a guy who says i love you every goddamn minute of the day

 

Always

Take Care

 

<Give me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

 

this is something you cannot change. hope you get the wisdom soon.