jenna1213 Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 i will try to keep this as short as i possibly can! it all started a couple months ago when my best guy friend from school/college proposed the question of having a "best friends with benefits" relationship. i immediately declined, because he was in a serious relationship at the time, with a girl he had been with for almost two and a half years and i did not want to get in the middle of it and because i knew it was wrong. fast forward about a month... i was at his house watching a movie and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. this occured numerous times before school was out for summer. i told myself not to get attached, because i knew i couldn't and i wasn't supposed to. however, before i knew it, two weeks into summer, his girlfriend found out he was cheating on her. i know it's my fault because i'm the one who agreed. and before me and him started "best friends with benefits," he was doing stuff with other girls. and soon, i started developing intense feelings for him and seeing him as more than as a friend. i couldn't help it, i was best friends with him the entire school year and i suddenly found myself falling in love with everything about him. literally everything. after confessing to him when he asked me, he told me i couldn't because he was still in love with his ex and he wanted to get her back, and was going to do whatever he could to get her back. i was stuck. i wanted him to be happy whether it was with me or her but it was so hard to be a friend and someone in love with him at the same time. i tried to listen and be supportive, but it was sooo hard! i knew i was to blame too. but over the course of two weeks, we became even closer and i went to visit him twice, and we ended up having sex again. the day i came home he called me and told me he was falling in love with me too, even though he said it was wrong. he said i was "one of a kind" and i made him so happy. but he said he was sorry and was still in love with her. this confused me even more because i wanted something more and i wasn't even sure what he wanted! he would text me saying "i want to marry you. i love you." i told him not to say things like that if he didn't mean it... but then he asked if i would be willing to change for him if we were to get into a relationship. i asked how and he said "idk, you're not a girly girl. you need to wear your hair down more, dress up more, not swear so much, etc." i was crushed. i don't know what to do. if i should keep waiting for him to make up his mind on what he truly wants or just move on and be alone. i still love him but just the little things he says honestly kill me sometimes. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Zaphod B Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I'd say move on. If he can't accept you as you are, then he's not worth it. He wants you to be something you're not. Sounds like he'd be a control freak and if he's cheated on his ex, then he'll cheat on you too. Link to post Share on other sites
musuoka Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 When listening to speakers, not pay attention to put it? I use headphones when the ear is the ear of the most influential things, the size of the ears, the shape of the ear itself, of course, including women's earrings, glasses, legs and other seemingly unnecessary items within the environment of the ear. Link to post Share on other sites
KR10N Posted August 7, 2011 Share Posted August 7, 2011 I agree w/ Zaphod B. If having an affair w/ this guy doesn't say anything about his character & more importantly, yours, it's best that you move on. If he was unfaithful to his GF then 9 times out of 10 he'll do it to you. Fortunately, he's wanting you to change your appearance & the way you talk. Now I say 'fortunately' because this just shows how shallow he is. Don't you want someone who you'll be more than comfortable enough to be yourself? And more importantly, someone who's committed to you? Link to post Share on other sites
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