'You treat me like crap!' - your examples?

[Deanster]

Big argument with my wife today when I said 'sometimes you treat me like crap!'.

 

She says that's impossible, because she's never trying to hurt me, so the worst she can be accused of is 'neglect'. Sigh.

 

Soooo... What kinds of things do YOU consider examples of your spouse treating you like crap? Is it failing to open the car door, or throwing your stuff away while you're out of the house, using a harsh tone, or sleeping with your sister? Or does just not ever looking up when you enter a room or walking out while you're talking count? What's it take to claim you are being treated like crap?

[OWoman]

Big argument with my wife today when I said 'sometimes you treat me like crap!'.

 

She says that's impossible, because she's never trying to hurt me, so the worst she can be accused of is 'neglect'. Sigh.

 

Soooo... What kinds of things do YOU consider examples of your spouse treating you like crap? Is it failing to open the car door, or throwing your stuff away while you're out of the house, using a harsh tone, or sleeping with your sister? Or does just not ever looking up when you enter a room or walking out while you're talking count? What's it take to claim you are being treated like crap?

 

I've not been treated like crap by my H, nor has he ever accused me of doing the same, so I have no examples of my own to offer - but I would consider that if you FELT that you were being treated badly, then that behaviour is not acceptable within your R. I would never treat my H with disrespect, nor do anything that made him feel undermined, unloved or belittled, because I love him and I want him to be secure within that love. If he were to interpret my (unintended) behaviour in a negative way, I would address that since how something is received is at least as important as how it is intended in a love R.

 

If your W is doing something that undermines you or makes you feel disrespected, she needs to reconsider the appropriateness of her behaviour - and you need to communicate clearly to her what you do and don't consider acceptable. If you cannot reach a compromise that is acceptable to both of you, you have the choice of whether to accept the "crap treatment" as part of the package or to leave the M in search of better treatment elsewhere.

[jsb58]

Big argument with my wife today when I said 'sometimes you treat me like crap!'.

 

She says that's impossible, because she's never trying to hurt me, so the worst she can be accused of is 'neglect'. Sigh.

 

Soooo... What kinds of things do YOU consider examples of your spouse treating you like crap? Is it failing to open the car door, or throwing your stuff away while you're out of the house, using a harsh tone, or sleeping with your sister? Or does just not ever looking up when you enter a room or walking out while you're talking count? What's it take to claim you are being treated like crap?

What did your W do that made you feel like crap?

My grandparents bickered all the time about any and everything. One of them would eventually pull the "you treat me like crap" card to throw the other one off. Did it work for you?

[Kelemort]

My partner always talks to me with attitude. ALWAYS. Sometimes in the morning or at night he talks to me gently and kindly, and I always make a point of acknowledging that I like the way he speaks to me. But if we in any way disagree, or if I suggest something he doesn't like/want to do, he starts getting attitude. It makes me want to knock his stupid block off. It gets very tiring and I've been putting up with it for years. It's crazy to think there was a time when he was even worse! And he'd just blow up and yell at me in front of company and everything...

 

Of course, when I tell him that I hate that he talks to me that way, he'll immediately snap back with, "I don't talk to you like that," or "You're just making stuff up." If he didn't get such attitude or speak to me so harshly over MINOR things (i.e., we just bought bikes and his tire blew out within minutes. We have a 90 day warranty. I suggested we go and take it back, since we don't really have any repair shops around here. Of course he fires off angrily at me out in public. It's embarrassing and hurtful to be treated this way).

 

That's probably the most offensive, embarrassing and hurtful thing that he does. But, he does it regarding everything. He gets angry if I leave a light on or if I have the fridge door open for more than a few seconds.

 

I don't know why I ever started going out with the *******.