PJKino Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Spot on, FitChick. I've noticed that trend. What say you, men? Do you think a strong male role model was absent and this contributed to your lack of confidence? No i has a strong male rode model,some people just dont have allot of confidence some do,you act like every Man should have tons of confidence just because were Men.. Some of us were insecure and shy growing up and constant rejection from women hasnt helped us grow confdience.. Kinda hard to be "confident" when women arent attracted to you Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I wonder if these boys grew up with fathers in the home. That seems to be the crux of a lot of masculinity problems these days. Boys aren't taught how to be men. And the severe problem of women who are lacking feminine qualities these days is due to the lack of motherly presence while growing up as well? I mean there has to be a reason why a woman who can cook for example is a dying breed. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 (edited) Whats going on fellas? Wheres your confidence at?? There's nothing worse than being in a mall, scraping your confidence together, feeling the adrenaline rush the seconds before talking to the girl, feeling your hearbeat in your ears and feel your stresslevels skyrocket as you walk the 10 meters that take infinitely long, then saying something to the girl and getting nothing a dirty look back from her like you just molested her cat or something, then having to turn around without her having said anything to you and walking the walk of shame, with lots of people having witnessed your failing. It's absolute horror for shy guys, and 1 such bad experience can really destroyes peoples confidence for weeks or months or even longer. And I'm not even exaggerating. I don't believe in blame games, but if there was something/someone to blame for guys not approaching girls it would be the higher grade of bitchiness promoted by society. Edited August 5, 2011 by Jynxx typo Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 No i has a strong male rode model,some people just dont have allot of confidence some do,you act like every Man should have tons of confidence just because were Men.. Some of us were insecure and shy growing up and constant rejection from women hasnt helped us grow confdience.. Kinda hard to be "confident" when women arent attracted to you Thank you for replying. No, I don't think every man should have tons of confidence. I myself have Social Anxiety. It's not hard to identify with being unsure of oneself. I was interested in the absent father connection, if there is in fact one. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I grew up with a father but then again my father himself told me that he was super shy as a kid and only had one girlfriend before my mother. On the other hand, my mother only taught me how to be a doormat by telling me to do everything for a woman. So what gives? I guess I should have had a wife beater father who could show me how to put women in place and show them masculinity ... Link to post Share on other sites
chphan Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I don't believe in blame games, but if there was something/someone to blame for guys not approaching girls it would be the higher grade of bitchiness promoted by society. You mean the bitchiness promoted by the OP. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
DutchValhallaViking Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Well, if every man is supposed to be confident and alpha male and fitting the old fashioned stereotype image women have of men, i'd be happy to oblige: What's wrong womenfolk? Why are you on the computer posting on this forum? Got lost on your way to the kitchen? Make me a sandwich or i'll bend you over for a spanking! Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 And the severe problem of women who are lacking feminine qualities these days is due to the lack of motherly presence while growing up as well? I mean there has to be a reason why a woman who can cook for example is a dying breed. Theyll call you a pig for that Women want to keep old tradition gender roles ONLY when it benefits them Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Spot on, FitChick. I've noticed that trend. What say you, men? Do you think a strong male role model was absent and this contributed to your lack of confidence? How are we defining "strong male role model". My father did a lot of working when I was younger and he worked a lot of nights (still does). Although he was "there" I think the person who did the primary parenting was my mother. To this day I don't think I've ever had a conversation with my dad about girls. Oddly enough though I don't think I came out "feminized". I love sports, lifting weights, rock n'roll music, all the typical guy stuff (and stuff my mom hates). I just lack confidence with women and dating. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I just like the wording of the thing. It's not some whiny thing about why doesn't he love me, or what can I do to get this girl. It's just here's a problem, how can we fix it. Decent! Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Seriously fellas grow a pair and just do it! Something tells me some of the replies in this thread aren't registering with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 My lack of confidence definitely isn't a product of not having a strong male role model. It's mainly from just not having the ability to effectively talk to women. Throw in the fact that I've never experienced (only an illusion) real companionship at 23, and it makes sense that there's no real confidence there. How could it be? Btw, I've never blamed anyone or anything for my lack of confidence. At the end of the day, it all falls on my shoulders because I didn't properly assimilate the proper skills to become confident. Gaining confidence is the difficult part for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 Sorry to interject my serious question into a thread with a mocking tone. I should have kept that in mind. Thanks to all who replied to my question about male role models. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted August 5, 2011 Share Posted August 5, 2011 I wonder if these boys grew up with fathers in the home. That seems to be the crux of a lot of masculinity problems these days. Boys aren't taught how to be men. Spot on, FitChick. I've noticed that trend. What say you, men? Do you think a strong male role model was absent and this contributed to your lack of confidence? Anything that takes away the chance of rejection from you ladies eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Easyguy14 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Theyll call you a pig for that Women want to keep old tradition gender roles ONLY when it benefits them it sure looks that way, doesn't it? Im often one to keep my head up and a positive attitude so I dont get myself down when approaching a woman I like, but for certain gender roles have seriously switched in a lot of areas. Link to post Share on other sites
WhyWontYouBe Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 Something tells me some of the replies in this thread aren't registering with you. No lol, they don't! Link to post Share on other sites
krz12 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 I grew up with a father but then again my father himself told me that he was super shy as a kid and only had one girlfriend before my mother. On the other hand, my mother only taught me how to be a doormat by telling me to do everything for a woman. So what gives? I guess I should have had a wife beater father who could show me how to put women in place and show them masculinity ... Honestly, that would probably help. That or an older brother or relative. Link to post Share on other sites
ccfan Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 I'm not going to repeat what other posters have said... but they are right on asking were's your confidence ?? you could have easily start up a conversation and see what it may go from there...but you didnt .. you know.. being every now and then in a mans shoes its good to see how it feels to approach a complete stranger and also puts things on perspective for the next time you ignore a guy that got the confidence to ask you out Also, and i hate to break it to you, not all of us guys are there 24/7 available just because some woman feel like we should make a move.. and then, God forbids, if we don't make a move, lets go to LS and complain about it. Truth is, that that guy might have been looking at you because maybe he found you good looking, or because he was bored waiting in line, or because you reminded him of someone else or whatever... BUT has it ever occured to you that he might have a girlfriend... yes, shocking dose of truth and i hate to be sarcastic, but really never ceases to impress me how some (not all of course) woman think that every man in the world should be asking for their number and when it doesn't happen something must to be wrong.. i mean how more self centered some people can be?? Link to post Share on other sites
shanemike88 Posted August 6, 2011 Share Posted August 6, 2011 For real Im noticing this w/ so many guys nowadays its awful! Okay, Im at the mall w/ my friend just 2 of us right? And a group of guys would just call out something lame like "hey bella or mami whats cooking?" and then a laugh. Boo-hoo! Then if Im on line getting food or w/e and its a cute guy there, he'll stare at me & then look away when I look at him & that just sucks! Im not even gonna get on that creepy neighborhood guy . Whats going on fellas? Wheres your confidence at?? It's funny you said that. Last night my friends and I were out at the bar drinking, dancing, just living it up. Well I noticed a gorgeous blonde there and we kept making eye contact all night but I held off and held off thinking nothing of it. Finally I saw her at the bar by herself and I decided to make my way over and talk to her but some guy literally beat me to it. Anyway at the end of the night she actually came up to me and said "why haven't you talked to me yet?" Sometimes we just freeze up. haha Link to post Share on other sites
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