worriedinside Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 somebody plz ! I just don't know if I can do it anymore , my bf is hurting my soul I have posted before about the whole sex thing ,and then I posted about is best friend which is a girl ! The sex thing hasn't really gotten any better for those who don't know he turns me down a lot and then after usually I will see where he has looked at porn or something so he is choosing porn over me! We are in our early 20's and I am not sure but I think that we should have sex more than once a week. Am I wrong? I am really hurt about that but sex is not everything and I know that so I don't make a big deal about it although I have talked to him about he usually says he is tired or aggravated with something etc.... there is always something. And then other than having a prob with sex he is real distant with me take this morn for instance we live together at his parents house! He had a dr apt. and he needed someone to take him so his sister had to take him he had to get up before me and take a shower when he got out of the shower he tried to get me up but I was being lazy and wasn't ready so when I did get up I went in to the den where he was on the pc as usual, he says to me " what are you doing in here, you wouldn't get up to take a shower " as hateful as could be I knew right then I must have interuppeted his pc time so I got pissed got up and went back to the bedroom to get ready for work . He was waiting on his sister to get ready to take him that is why he had time for the pc ,anyway when she got ready they walked out the door he didn't say anything to me not bye not nothing so I don't have any idea what to do It is killing me my gut tells me I need to leave but my heart tells me that I love him and I want this to work but to me it is like he is trying to get me to leave ! I don't know I just need someone to help . I thank anyone who takes the time to read my post! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyrannaste Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 After hearing about how much he is distant, and that you feel like he puts porn before you, and he is quite rude, I'd say: follow your guts and leave. Or at least take some time away from this relationship, and see how you are doing on your own. Perhaps you'll find out you are much happier without him. And, if he realizes he does not want you to leave and he loves you, he might show up and be the one looking for you, and perhaps change his ways. If you leave anyway leave for yourself, have a "I'm better without him"mindset, don't count on him to try to get you back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 That is my prob I just feel like I am a tree and I can't move or something . I try to tell myself that this is not healthy for me or him but all I can think about is having him and how it would feel not to have him ! I mean I am seriously sick to my stomach right now thinking I may lose him ! When we first got together he was the one chasing after me all the time and then the tables turned and here I am ! My heart hurts literally and I have never felt that before and I have been through a divorce! Link to post Share on other sites
abyssalsmile Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 follow oyur gut and leave you should not be putting up with that especially if you are in your early 20s . Just go out and find something to do to keep your mind off him . Maybe then the tables will turn again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 well , it is over he broke it off with me ! He first said he didn't want to break up but yet he just didn't know how he was going to be happy...? So I thought that meant we would just slow down a little and take things day to day ! I was wrong he went out that nite with his friends he came back he held me all nite and that morn he told me "thank you for holding on to me" . So I thought things were going to be ok but I was wrong I called him later because I felt like I needed some more answers and I was right after a long talk I told him I was willing to work on our relationship if he was and he said NO he didn't want to he was crying , I didn't cry that time it was hard but I didn't ! So I went to his house got my stuff and that was yesterday ! And I am dying !!! Seriously I can't eat I couldn't sleep nothing I had to go back home to my mom and dad's house and I just don't know ughhh.... I just feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I know that I can not make him want to be with me but I just wish I was still with him ya know If someone could just give me a few words of wisdom or some advice on how to get through all of this i would appreciate it ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 I just got on my messenger and he was on , I thought he would be at work today but he must have took the day off ! So I was just about to click off and he popped up and was telling me about something that he did last night and I was like " really well" and then I just kinda cut him off and said "well I gotta go ttyl" do you all think I did the right thing?? Shew.. that made me feel worse I didn't think that he would talk to me after yesterday he knew how bad I was hurting ! Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 I think you did the right thing. The best thing is to keep distance physically and emotionally. Don't let him think you're pining away for him. Be strong and show him you can live fine without him. I'm sorry for what happened. It sounds like it was leading to one of you doing it. I thought it would be you actually. I'm kind of in a similar situation with my boyfriend. Probably won't last much longer. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
rosesinbloom Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Dig this... without planted seeds there would not follow a flower to regard all effort forth for a new beginning? nial has nothing to do with it. Good or bad? There are however, for ever lifes' basis for all, this should and is continual. God Bless Any begining is life treasure for those who proclaim it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 I have another post over in Breaking Up but I have recieved some very good advice from alot of members that browse this forum ! Anyway as you all can tell My bo and I were having some probs and it ended in him breaking it off with me so I have been torn into ! I love this site so much that I feel very fortunate to have found people who care and actually want to help others that are strangers to them! So thanks to everyone! My thing is since this has just happened to me I have got the urge to call him and beg him back... although I won't that is what I feel like , I just want to be with him so badly... you know?? So I hope that when I get the urge to pick up the phone I could come here and post so that I will be surrounded by others that can help me come thru and do what I know is right and that is to respect his wishes and leave it be. I hope everyone can understand that and hey maybe if you see me here then ya'll could send me a message or too for strength...lol I know I need to prove to myself that I can make it without him but it sure does help when you feel like other people care! Link to post Share on other sites
rosesinbloom Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Dig this... without planted seeds there would not follow a flower to regard all effort forth for a new beginning? nial has nothing to do with it. Good or bad? There are however, for ever lifes' basis for all, this should and is continual. God Bless Any begining is life treasure for those who proclaim it. I love my BVD's and there is nothing I would ever ever do for him, please forgive me, I love him forever and would rather die than him to disbelieve this, I want him im my life. He only need s to call me and say hi, and let's go/I'll be there waiting. I love him and you BB forever, the Boo and you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedinside Posted May 1, 2004 Author Share Posted May 1, 2004 whoo....hooo.. I still have not called him! I did get the rest of my things from his house while he was gone to work to avoid any run in's . And everything is going ok I still want to be with him and miss the hell outta him but I feel that I am strong and I can keep from calling ! The nights are the pits though I really feel like that is when I miss him the most because he is not there holding me! But I know it will get better ! Thanks for all the advice lots of love ! Link to post Share on other sites
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