very good friends with a married man, who i fell in love with

[jean961982]

Six months ago I was living with my partner of ten years and although I wasn't happy, I was okay I guess - he had numerous affairs and I had always stayed faithful.

 

It was at this point I met a man - I am reluctant to give away too many details. I met him and his wife at the same time, it was odd as my partner and I thought they were siblings to begin with but they weren't, we later found out. They have a business together and she pretty much takes control.

 

He started doing some gardening for us on a regular basis and helping us look after our four year old dog, who was left at home for long periods due to work commitments. At first this man had a basic level of friendship with my husband and not be, but that started to change a few months back...

 

We started talking on the phone a lot about our beliefs, religion, life... not at first but it quickly esculated into deep conversations. We talked for approximately an hour three times a week as well as writing each other little notes that were left in the garden on almost a daily basis.

 

We then had a day out together, both partners knew about it. He kissed me one day on the lips... no tongues, but he kissed me. He made me feel alive. Now he's not the type of man who would have an affair, I know that and I would never try and make him do that.

 

After our wonderful day out, we started meeting on a weekly basis and started texting almost everyday.

 

Two months I found our my husband had been planning to leave me, I told this man and he agreed to help me find accommodation near him so he could help me if I ever needed it. He did and I moved out.

 

His wife and I remain on good terms, we're not best buddies because we have nothing in common but we are polite. I know she pokes around my fb page and I imagine because I am almost 20 years younger than her she feels like nothing would ever happen, and she's right but I know I love him.

 

I've recently seen him too much, and I think I may need to leave the country to get away from him. I know he thinks a great deal of me as he has told me I am beautiful and he loves me inside and out, (I assume just as friends) and I think I have reached a stage in my life where I want to fall in love and be with someone just like him, but someone who is available. And he's not and it's too hard seeing him every day, loving him from afar and thinking he must know how I feel.

 

Before I go I think I will need to write him a letter explaining how I feel because I couldn't live my life thinking 'what if'

[Jennifer26]

When you say you couldn't imagine leaving without telling him you love him and wondering what if, do you mean what if there is a chance for the two of you?

 

He's married. That should be enough to tell you that there should be no you and him. You should cut off contact with him and move on.

[Woman In Blue]

You say you want to fall in love with a man "just like him?"

 

You mean one that chases women half his age, gets a huge ego boost from the fact that a young gal thinks he's a demi-god because he's playing 'knight in shining armour' for her, one who writes inappropriate notes to young ladies and hides them in the garden or speaks on the phone with her for hours every week, and one who kisses that young girl on the lips and tells her she's "beautiful inside and out?"

 

And how lucky will YOU be when you land such a man, and YOU'RE the wife whose 20 years older than that young girl he's chasing? You'll get to be the one checking out this young girl's Facebook page and driving yourself crazy with worry because you have to watch your husband's disgusting obsession with a young girl and there's not a thing you can do about it. Won't you be so lucky?

 

Boy howdy, I want one of those, too.

[Try]

You say you want to fall in love with a man "just like him?"

 

You mean one that chases women half his age, gets a huge ego boost from the fact that a young gal thinks he's a demi-god because he's playing 'knight in shining armour' for her, one who writes inappropriate notes to young ladies and hides them in the garden or speaks on the phone with her for hours every week, and one who kisses that young girl on the lips and tells her she's "beautiful inside and out?"

 

And how lucky will YOU be when you land such a man, and YOU'RE the wife whose 20 years older than that young girl he's chasing? You'll get to be the one checking out this young girl's Facebook page and driving yourself crazy with worry because you have to watch your husband's disgusting obsession with a young girl and there's not a thing you can do about it. Won't you be so lucky?

 

Boy howdy, I want one of those, too.

Well said.

[jean961982]

Wow Woman In Blue nobody has ever put it across to me that way before.

 

He is a very good religious/spiritual man though and I assume that I am the one who is having inappropriate feelings, not him - I really think he just sees me as a friend and that is why I feel the need to leave as I can't deal with the just friends bit.

 

When I saw him this morning, first thing, as he rings to wake me if he passes my window and I'm still asleep - I just wish I could wake up to that face every morning. I would usually hate anyone disturbing my sleep but not him.

[YeahDotDotDot]

Maybe she is controlling toward him because he asks (through his actions) to be controlled. He married her for a reason. Maybe he has been unfaithful before, but of course he would not tell you that.

 

There's plenty you do not really know about him that the wife is aware of. You can't know anyone better than living with them-and sharing a bed.

[jean961982]

Thing is they don't share a bed anymore!!! And he has told me that on more than one occasion, but not in a sleazy way, just that they prefer to sleep apart and somewhat still like to have their own private life.

[reboot]

"We don't share a bed anymore" is in Chapter 1 of the "Cheaters Handbook".

[jean961982]

but it wasn't like he said "oh you know let's sleep together, me and my wife no longer share a bed."

 

it was more something he let drop when talking about something else. he never said they didn't have sex anymore or anything and i know they have separate bedrooms as i've been in his to drop off a book.