am i being used?

[islandprincess]

I have a question about the guy i've been seeing. We've been "seeing" each other for over two months now, about once a week. Every time we get together we have the most amazing sex- at least twice, usually more. I feel like he was the person made for me, the way we are when we're together. There are a couple problems though. The first one is that i'm 20 and he's 27.

 

All my friends seem to think that way to old for meand that the only reason he'd be with someone my age is for sex. Another problem is that we work together, he my boss actually, so when we're at work we barely talk. We say hi, but rarely even have polite innocent conversations because we don't want anyone to think we're that close. It's hard being around him so long and not being able to say anything to him let alone touch or kiss him...all the things that go through my mind every time i see him.

 

Then there's how he NEVER calls me except when he asks if i want to hang out, AKA have sex. Part of me knows this means he's only using me for sex, but when we're together i just can't bring myself to believe that. Withen the past week we started hanging out a little more (3times/one week) and i met most of his friends. He still hasn't called me just to talk, not that i want to have long envolved conversations with the guy every day, but it just makes me wonder what his real intentions are.

 

Sexually i've gone places with him, that i can't see myself going with anyone else, ever - and i wonder if i'm putting way to much of myself into something that isn't even a relationship..... i want to leave my job there, just b/c i don't really like it, but i'm afraid that'll mean an end to our relationship. i don't want to loose him...... but do i really have him?

[iceprincess]

Sweetie, first of all...you said on your last couple of sentences that you don't want the relationship to end. What relationship? Staying in a job that you don't like...having the boss call you up when he wants sex...always in the shadow yearning for him when you can't have him (except when he wants to have you)....I think you know better than me that he's just using you for sex. I know it's hard to move yourself from your situation, but you really don't want to be stuck with this person...as far as I can tell, he has no respect for you as a woman. He sees you as a sex-machine and because you're willing to give it to him whenever he needs it, lifes great for him.

 

You may think you are "in love" with him, but most young people often confuse "sex" with "love", because if he loves you, he wouldn't be so "quiet" about his relationship with you. You and him may just be better off as friends with benefits, because that's basically what you are to him. He doesn't consider you his girlfriend, right?

 

I think you need to get out of that job and find one that you actually like.

[tattoomytoe]

maybe after a "date" you could mention that you were thinking of leaving the company...se what response that evokes then go from there.

you can always inquire about what he sees you two as...just F buddies, or friends, anything else.

 

it does sound like you two are having a great sexual relationship, do you even Know that much personal stuff about him?

[SoleMate]

You have him for sex. As to whether you can have him for more...ask and ye shall either receive, or not.

 

As to whether you SHOULD...since he is your boss, he already has a lot of power over you. And now you have given him even more, by letting your sexuality carry your heart away. If I were you, I would be scared as heck thinking that this person, whom I do not fully know or trust, had that much power over me in two MAJOR spheres of my life. And if he were also your landlord...bad news.

 

it just makes me wonder what his real intentions are

Most likely to continue on as you are, until either you or he get tired of it.

 

Do NOT rent an apartment from this man, nor loan him money for a new truck.

[Girlie]

At this point, no, you do not have him in the sense that you'd like to. Well, not for anything other than sex, at least, from the sounds of it. If you want more, you're going to have to have the dreaded "talk" with him. If you're not comfortable with nothing but a sexual relationship with him, you need to communicate that to him. He can't read your mind and unless you let him know, he'll probably just think that this situation is working for the both of you just fine. Be forewarned though, that there is a chance, based on his actions, that he doesn't want anything more than what he's currently getting from you. I know it's difficult, but make sure you are prepared for that.

Also, and maybe I'm alone, I would think hard before continuing this relationship. I would never recommend getting involved with the boss, ever. I personally think it's a horrible idea and I've seen it end in disaster numerous times. Just my opinion.