Bob Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 Here it goes... It has almost been a year since we broke up, we had been very very close. I have just left a 8 month relationship which I was not really enjoying. I was really missing my previous girlfriend, and still am. I thought I just missed her and she was happy with her current boyfriend and for all I knew she had forgotten about me. Until a few weeks ago three of her friends told me that she really missed me and was still in love. I took this opportunity to speak to her and she seemed fairly thankful, I told her I was here to listen and she should really speak to me about this. She asked what I had been told and I said just that she missed me, I told her I missed her also, she has no idea I know about her still being in love and breaking up with her boyfriend because of it. She pretty much said that it is to be expected that she misses me as a friend as we were so close and it will go away soon and thanked me for being so understanding. I would like to tell her I love her too but I don't have the courage, and don't want to sound like a fool. Has anyone any ideas? Do I tell her I was told that she loves me, and I feel the same? Do I forget about her and try to get over it? Do I let her come to me now that we are on speaking terms? Do I tell her I love her? Please help Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 I would like to tell her I love her too but I don't have the courage, and don't want to sound like a fool. Sometimes you can find the courage by writing a letter - could this be something that you could consider? Do I tell her I love her? Yes - but you should tell her with no expectations or obligations on her part. You could tell her that you love her and that you would like to try again and then leave the decision in her hands. But of course you should only tell her these things if you and her both know that you both are available. Otherwise you're meddling in her relationship with another man - which I wouldn't recommend. Do I tell her I was told that she loves me,.... No - that would be betraying a confidence between her and this friend AND between you and the same friend. Do I forget about her and try to get over it? If you tell her that you love her and would like to try again and she says she is not interested then yes - move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 i think u'll always regret it if u don't tell her. so yes, tell her. take her out for a coffee and say that you'd like to get back together b/c u still love her. see what she replies. best of luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob Posted April 30, 2004 Author Share Posted April 30, 2004 Thanks guys for your feedback, however I do not want to hurt our friendship by telling her something that she really doesn't want to hear. I have really stirred things up in my mind by speaking to her this week, I just hope she feels the same. I'd really prefer she spoke to me But I guess life ain't that simple, and these things just don't approach you. I guess I may leave it a few days and write her a letter Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 I have arranged to meet up with her tomorrow. I am very nervous about it yet kind of excited Not to sure what to say Link to post Share on other sites
Julie McCoy Posted May 3, 2004 Share Posted May 3, 2004 Originally posted by Bob Thanks guys for your feedback, however I do not want to hurt our friendship by telling her something that she really doesn't want to hear. But if you're not honest with her it'll hang over your head. And chances are it will also hang between you two, a sense of unease that there are things that haven't been said, that you're pretending to just feel friendship when you feel more than that. Unless she's a particularly self-absorbed person who only sees what is convenient for her to see, she'll sense that you're not being forthright. You'll just be making it more difficult for her, as well as for yourself, because you'll in essence be forcing her to call your bluff. I'd be honest. You might think that in so doing you'll be forcing her hand: say yes to getting back together, or forget knowing each other at all. I don't think it has to be that way, although if she doesn't return your feelings I'd have to wonder how beneficial it would be for you to have some kind of friendship with her -- would it be a real friendship, or would it just be a form of torment for you and embarrassment for her? Just tell her how you feel. There's nothing to be ashamed of in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob Posted May 3, 2004 Author Share Posted May 3, 2004 Thanks for the support and advice. It has been more than helpful. I will tell you tomorrow how this goes. Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bob Posted May 5, 2004 Author Share Posted May 5, 2004 Spoke to her yesterday, it seemed to go well. I told her I loved her she said the same. We talked about general stuff and before we knew it, it was time to go. We arranged to meet up today, I waited for 45 minutes then I went home and rung her. She said she couldn't make it, I felt very let down. I don't know what to do... We never got to speak about what I wanted to, and she doesn't seem interested at all. This really didn't go as planned. Link to post Share on other sites
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